Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1250 on: 02/03/2011 15:03:50 »
Speaking of clothing, has anyone ever had a Clothes Encounter?

Yes inded I have and would like to hear of any other such clothes shaves, so sock it to me.

Shall I tell you about it? (pants in anticipation)

I had been working on the Egyptian finds sponsored by Lord Cardigan. It was getting late and I had had enough of work, so I thought I would jacket in for the day. On my way home I decided to skirt around the town. Traffic was still heavy and drivers were getting shirty. 'Button your lip' I said to one as he zipped up the hard shoulder pad. Just then I saw a jumper on the bridge, so I put my boot down. He looked laced with booze. I continued gown down the road until I reached Bromley By Bow, where my need for a visit to the loo got almost too much to bare. I thought I would have to tie a knot in it. I stopped and went to the loo. Upon my return a copper felt my collar. "Ello, allo, ello, you can't park 'ere sur." He said.

Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.

But...... but....... but the vest is yet to come.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1251 on: 02/03/2011 15:57:07 »


Gus Albert didn't show up, so Don proudly claims the Award!!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1252 on: 02/03/2011 16:04:29 »

Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.


That was a snappy reply!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1253 on: 04/03/2011 15:46:22 »

Oi! Where's me post?


Not sure, but we'll keep you posted.

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1254 on: 05/03/2011 12:12:14 »
Probably was transferred to the round bit filing system...........

Or removed to the new popular board......./dev/null


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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1255 on: 05/03/2011 20:06:18 »
Sean, I'm not sure. I've been to the new popular board...../dev/null.

They insist that the only way to find Geezer's post is by contacting the post office.

Perhaps through your contacts, you know the Postmaster General?

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1256 on: 06/03/2011 11:06:34 »
I do not know the PMG, but have asked one of his minions as to the POSiTion of the search for the post, and he replied that it was found, but that the post office it was in was a little slow, and the only postman that knew the POSiTion of the post in question was absent from his post, and that if he did not return soon the post would be declared vacant. If that is verified then the post in question would be untraceable and would probably end up at the dead letters office, where it's disPOSiTion would be hard to say.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1257 on: 07/03/2011 03:33:38 »
Sean, this is quickly becoming an imPOsSTible situation for Geezer!

Surely, he will now blame me for POSTulating the wrong formulae for retrieving it, and POsSTibly even have my photograph shown in each POST office for my heinous offense!

He might even "go postal" on me!!
« Last Edit: 07/03/2011 03:38:24 by demografx »

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #1258 on: 07/03/2011 06:09:18 »
If you mofos don't knock it off PDQ, the only postal thing will be postmortem.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force æther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1259 on: 07/03/2011 17:42:47 »
mofos? I'm reporting you to Martha FoCor! (Forum Contributor)

PDQ? nah, just go Bach to what you were doing!

Postmortem? Don't be anal: over-analysis leads to paralysis!
« Last Edit: 07/03/2011 17:47:06 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1260 on: 08/03/2011 07:08:03 »
and immobility gets you nowhere.

Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?

Karen's so cool!  When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1261 on: 08/03/2011 16:39:14 »
This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html

Doze anyone have a comment to make?

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1262 on: 08/03/2011 23:40:51 »

Karen's so cool!  When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.


Whew! I had to read that twice!

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #1263 on: 09/03/2011 11:55:39 »
This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html

Doze anyone have a comment to make?

I wouldn't dream of it. It snore t my position to do so.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1264 on: 09/03/2011 20:36:29 »

It snore t my position to do so.


Well, since Christmas is only 300 days away...

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there.  One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his reindeer.  Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one it was.  It happened again, only louder this time.  “Snort sniff honk honk snort!”

Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark.  “Shhh!” Santa hissed.  “Please be quiet!”

He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!” Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.

Santa was horrified.  Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole.  He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!”

None of the reindeer stepped forward.

Santa held up a piece of paper. “I know who it is and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own.”

Still none of the reindeer came forward.  So Santa did the only thing he could do.  He read off the rude-nosed reindeer…
« Last Edit: 09/03/2011 20:40:56 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #1265 on: 10/03/2011 16:42:32 »

If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1266 on: 10/03/2011 16:53:02 »
Coming up March 17: St. Patrick's Day

I'm green with envy, I'm not Irish.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1268 on: 10/03/2011 16:58:40 »
I'm green with envy,

Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1269 on: 10/03/2011 17:10:40 »
Envy and i are able to work that out.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1270 on: 10/03/2011 17:31:37 »

Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?


I don't actually know, he is so cleverly chameflaged, disguys really good at it. And besides, how much can I really tell since we only once shared a Chame Milo T[ea]?

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1271 on: 10/03/2011 18:57:24 »
Well since we are talking about tea for two, let's talk about the split personality of our March saint and how green became the color of the day.  Did Pat bring yellow and rick bring blue into the mix?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1272 on: 10/03/2011 19:21:24 »
This is not a pun, it's a poem about the award-winning Karen

I see Karen W. and how she behaves
She's clever and witty in so many ways
And though I don't know her I sense she puts others first
Sharing water before quenching her thirst
Supportive, loving, and lending an ear
When those she loves have questions or fears
She smiles when she's happy, she smiles when she's sad
She smiles her way through both the good and the bad
And though you are modest, the human pillar you are
Touches those around you, the near and the far
And so, Lady Karen, you're that rare, special kind
So richly deserving your own turn to shine.
 [;D]
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1273 on: 11/03/2011 06:33:25 »

Donnah, that was truly beautiful!  [:)]

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1274 on: 11/03/2011 06:54:53 »
Everyone, Easter is coming soon!

My favorite rapper is the Easter bunny, he's really in to hip hop.

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1275 on: 13/03/2011 20:43:27 »

Donnah, that was truly beautiful!  [:)]
Thanks demo.  Some people were nasty to me recently, so I responded with kindness, but not to the nasty pooheads, but to someone who deserves kindness.  Karen donates her time as moderator, and so I picked her this time.  I see it as a behaviour pun.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1276 on: 13/03/2011 21:55:55 »
I know what you mean, Donnah, some people are often on their pest behavior.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1277 on: 14/03/2011 02:57:42 »
Or is that behaviour?
« Last Edit: 14/03/2011 03:38:57 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1278 on: 14/03/2011 05:42:46 »

Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?


I thought stray male would be taken to the animal shelter instead?

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1279 on: 14/03/2011 17:20:44 »
Or is that behaviour?

The British spelling is behaviour, the American removes the U.  Being Canadian, I fluctuate between them.  Is that OK?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1280 on: 14/03/2011 17:47:52 »
Sure it is Ok to vacillate. I learned that at university.

Or was it thru adversity?
« Last Edit: 15/03/2011 02:23:22 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1281 on: 15/03/2011 14:42:27 »
Well there's more than one way to learn.  Formal education gives us student loans, life experience brings us frequent groans. 
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1282 on: 15/03/2011 15:07:33 »
So THAT'S why they say he or she is now groan up.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1283 on: 15/03/2011 16:15:16 »
March is National Optimistic Month!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2010/03/national-optimistic-month.html

And don't forget, those who study the moon are optimists. They look at the bright side.
« Last Edit: 15/03/2011 16:19:44 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1284 on: 16/03/2011 05:16:06 »
Does that make Pink Floyd pessimists?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1285 on: 16/03/2011 18:16:00 »
Yes, Donnah, all the Band members' blood type is b-negative.

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1286 on: 16/03/2011 18:34:55 »
Bloody pessimists!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1287 on: 16/03/2011 20:31:56 »
Don't let it upset you, Donnah, we can still feel good about the fact that our top math students' blood type is A+.

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1288 on: 17/03/2011 17:32:29 »
Does that mean most politicians and lawyers are O negative?  Or maybe there's a new blood type: AH negative.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1289 on: 17/03/2011 23:59:50 »


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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1290 on: 18/03/2011 00:03:50 »
When you get a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital, do you receive Taipei blood???

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1291 on: 18/03/2011 00:05:38 »

Does that mean most politicians and lawyers are O negative?


Was that a type-O ?

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1292 on: 18/03/2011 02:54:41 »
Why?  Are you calling me a liawyer?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1293 on: 18/03/2011 04:15:18 »
A liawyer? Tell me the truth, Donnah, did you - or did you not - walk on your lawn this morning and experience the dew process?

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1294 on: 18/03/2011 04:55:22 »
Well, I was going to, but then I got cold feet.  Canada + March = snow.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1295 on: 18/03/2011 16:48:26 »
You'll be just fine. For those who live in the land of ice it'snow problem.

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1296 on: 18/03/2011 23:39:15 »

(Rae, the bear, should be sleeping.  Photo taken from our dining room window.)

It is if you run around in bear feet and eat like a bird.
« Last Edit: 19/03/2011 04:30:50 by Donnah »
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1297 on: 19/03/2011 00:19:51 »
Speaking of birds, ever wonder why birds with headaches just migraine south?
« Last Edit: 19/03/2011 00:22:16 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1298 on: 19/03/2011 04:27:26 »
Because they are bird brained?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1299 on: 19/03/2011 19:04:39 »



Let's savor that one for a moment!