Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline SeanB

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1350 on: 25/03/2011 19:26:27 »
Did not click on the video, but have memories of a stripper called "Fat Annie" who used to work at a club called Airport. I did see her knock out a guy using only what nature gave her, and not her hands or feet. She took him off the stage with one blow, and he landed on the floor dazed for a few minutes. Those were a set of lethal weapons there, under a vest for sure until she started.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1351 on: 25/03/2011 20:16:03 »
I bet she was a knockout! And the guy seems like a real boob for starting in with her. There. Whew. Glad I got that off my chest...it's always breast to be cautious when you don't know someone, some people want revenge, they're not satisfied with just tit for tat.
« Last Edit: 25/03/2011 20:17:39 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1352 on: 26/03/2011 07:36:21 »
Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!

Hey, imagine our poor chesty on a brahama!!

Yep, I'm from Calgary (though I don't live there anymore) and I used to work as a cowgirl.  So the Stampede City is your hometown too.  Hmmmmm, you actually sound like a friend of mine, your language patterns are similar.  Do you work in IT and does your wife's name start with E?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1353 on: 26/03/2011 16:52:08 »
Nope, not me.... but he must be a pretty cool guy! Living up there in the North that is!

How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1354 on: 26/03/2011 23:20:44 »

Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!


Yep, I'm from Calgary (though I don't live there anymore) and I used to work as a cowgirl.  So the Stampede City is your hometown too.


Calgary? Isn't that where someone was crucified for all of our stampeding? And whoa to transgressors! Today, it's certainly Eternal Calgary Flames for those who don't repent for stop their stampeding ways!
« Last Edit: 28/03/2011 03:35:16 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1355 on: 27/03/2011 03:51:39 »

So the current laws don't apply to electrical spies?


I think Dave deserves to get a charge out of this Punning Award for that line.



(someone at Gold Medallion should brush up on their Elecrtric spelunking though)

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1356 on: 27/03/2011 07:15:14 »

...have memories of a stripper called "Fat Annie" who used to work at a club called Airport.


Hm. Firsthand knowledge or hearsay? [;D]

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #1357 on: 27/03/2011 07:36:54 »
Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ĉther.

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1358 on: 27/03/2011 18:29:56 »
Let us just say that it was not me, but I was a witness, and the guy in question we will just call by his initial of "D". We went there as a part ( unofficial) of a tour of the facilities of a certain airline's maintenance operations, and had a few hours of spare time between the end of the tour and the official end of the lecture day, so the teachers went there for some entertainment, and took us along as a not totally unwilling group. Was in the good old days when the air was clean, shows like that were frowned on by the clergy ( and attended by a lot of them to get ideas or something else) and you could gain easy access to a lot of places as a plain member of the public.

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1359 on: 27/03/2011 22:47:56 »
Man caught in crossfire as dancer clears her chest after frowning clergy interrupts important maintanence tour.

Mr. D. in critical but stable condition as hearing is regained in left ear.

How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1360 on: 28/03/2011 03:40:03 »

Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?


Hm. The plot thickens.

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1361 on: 28/03/2011 15:01:39 »

Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?


Hm. The plot thickens.

Is that an adumbration to another part of the body?
How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1362 on: 28/03/2011 16:38:16 »
Underarm mass.

Adumbration? You mean some people aren't smart enough to read this???


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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1363 on: 29/03/2011 14:36:22 »
Not without my glasses.

Adumbration: (n) áddem-bráysh´n - reduction of intelligence as a result of poor vision.
How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1364 on: 29/03/2011 19:49:07 »
A dumb ration: a ration meant for less-than-smart-ones.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1365 on: 30/03/2011 19:25:17 »
This week is
National Tsunami Awareness Week
www.tsunami.gov

While this is a terribly sad time in Japan because of the tsunami, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but maybe humor can also help? I know, I know, puns are humor?...........

I now anticipate a huge wave of reaction to my post...

« Last Edit: 30/03/2011 23:12:37 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1366 on: 30/03/2011 23:15:05 »
What? Not even a watered-down reply yet???

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1367 on: 31/03/2011 00:34:34 »
The tide washes way out first. This must be a biggy because it's really washed out!
How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1368 on: 31/03/2011 00:53:40 »
I'm hoping that your punchline will bring good tidings!

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1369 on: 31/03/2011 20:23:35 »
Now this is a punchline!



[attachment=14349]
How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1370 on: 01/04/2011 03:31:33 »

I like hardhitting punchlines!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1371 on: 04/04/2011 21:36:24 »
April 1st came and went. Now I feel Foolish.

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1372 on: 05/04/2011 22:14:40 »
April 1st came and went. Now I feel Foolish.

Why did she promise something, collect the money and run?
How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1373 on: 05/04/2011 22:45:34 »
You just can't trust those Springtime romances!

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1374 on: 07/04/2011 22:18:38 »
Romance in the springtime, now close to six months away, with the cold of winter between now and then. The cold nights, having to use a single sheet to keep warm, having a warm shower instead of cold, icecream not melting in the cone before you can eat it...........

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1375 on: 08/04/2011 07:43:49 »

Romance in the springtime, now close to six months away, with the cold of winter between now and then. The cold nights, having to use a single sheet to keep warm, having a warm shower instead of cold, icecream not melting in the cone before you can eat it...........


Mm, I love melted ice cream in my coffee.

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1376 on: 08/04/2011 20:42:02 »
I love fresh cream coffee, milk straight from the cow, add coffee and then microwave until just boiling. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1377 on: 09/04/2011 14:55:23 »
Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1378 on: 10/04/2011 21:35:35 »
But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1379 on: 11/04/2011 21:50:01 »

But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............


Yes I get affected the beary same way!

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1380 on: 11/04/2011 23:56:41 »

But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............


Yes I get affected the beary same way!


Speaking of bears, how about some coffee and Donnah!
How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1381 on: 13/04/2011 04:20:59 »
I heard from the mysterious Donnah today, she can't bear to break away from the road, and is power-less with her computer.

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Offline BioWizard

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« Reply #1382 on: 13/04/2011 06:43:56 »
 [;D] [;D] [;D]


Science is what you know. Philosophy is what you don't know.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1383 on: 13/04/2011 21:15:27 »

 [;D] [;D] [;D]


Nice teeth, BioWizard! And welcome to our nuthouse!

A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1384 on: 14/04/2011 19:31:53 »
I'm having tea with friends who are well connected.  What kind of tea?  Why nut tea of course.  I just couldn't bear not being around my punny friends.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1385 on: 15/04/2011 07:21:17 »

I'm having tea with friends who are well connected.  What kind of tea?  Why nut tea of course.  I just couldn't bear not being around my punny friends.


Why is tea so therapeutic? Because boiling the water raises your self of steam.

We missed you, Donnah. Welcome back!

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Offline BioWizard

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« Reply #1386 on: 17/04/2011 22:27:18 »

 [;D] [;D] [;D]


Nice teeth, BioWizard! And welcome to our nuthouse!

A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"


LOL! I know, this thread is like a nutsie thread!  [;D]


Science is what you know. Philosophy is what you don't know.

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #1387 on: 18/04/2011 13:02:59 »
I thought nutsies wore swastikas!?

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1388 on: 20/04/2011 21:49:12 »
I haven't had Swasteakas for a long time.  Take a cheap cut steak and marinate for a day, then cook in the slow cooker.  Voila, Swiss steakas.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1389 on: 22/04/2011 20:03:03 »
Slow cooker, where you throw it under the armpit. No need for salt!

Iiieeewww!

How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1390 on: 22/04/2011 20:07:34 »

I thought nutsies wore swastikas!?




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Offline daveman

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« Reply #1391 on: 22/04/2011 20:09:33 »
Was thinking of a cajun blackened pepper steak! A large sirloin, 1" thick, covered with a 1/8" layer of medium ground pepper (blown to remove the fine powder), fried to medium rare. Served with bacon bits stuffed potatoe skins topped with parmasan cheese! Oh, but where's the pun.... but who cares?
« Last Edit: 22/04/2011 20:19:35 by daveman »
How does Murphey do it??

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1392 on: 22/04/2011 20:20:23 »
Dave, don't worry that was not a misteak!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1393 on: 23/04/2011 02:58:38 »

I haven't had Swasteakas for a long time.  Take a cheap cut steak and marinate for a day, then cook in the slow cooker.  Voila, Swiss steakas.


You mean marinut?

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #1394 on: 23/04/2011 05:46:20 »
No Demo!! He means "Marry Nate" for a day, then cook him in the slow cooker! Talk about Spiders killing there mates!!! At least he will feast After he marries Nate!
« Last Edit: 23/04/2011 05:49:07 by Karen W. »

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1395 on: 23/04/2011 16:16:12 »
 BTW, Karen, that was "she" not "he"... [:)]

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #1396 on: 23/04/2011 18:41:48 »
BTW, Karen, that was "she" not "he"... [:)]

Whoops You are correct my apologies to Donnah..... Yes indeed I thought it was Daveman's post...LOL even bigger mystic, I mean mistake!
« Last Edit: 23/04/2011 18:44:17 by Karen W. »

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1397 on: 23/04/2011 19:13:08 »
Mystic, lol!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1398 on: 23/04/2011 19:15:19 »
That's daveman, all right, our Very Own Mystic Of The Punning Thread. He reads palms, foretells the future and more!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #1399 on: 25/04/2011 15:23:58 »
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month

I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!