Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1750 on: 24/01/2012 09:12:35 »

 the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!


Sorry Demo, this was not easy to understand. Did you mean caryan?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1751 on: 24/01/2012 22:07:30 »

the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!

Sorry Demo, this was not easy to understand. Did you mean caryan?


No. I meant it's not easy to stop cryin' !


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1752 on: 24/01/2012 22:53:05 »






January 25th, 2012 is
Macintosh Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo



My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.


« Last Edit: 24/01/2012 23:33:34 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1753 on: 25/01/2012 14:12:03 »
I recall, many moons ago, looking at the new fangled 'home computers' in a branch of Currys (other IT retailers also available, as are other foreign foods) and happily chomping on a piece of fruit.

A salesman asked "Have you got an Apple Mac?"

"No," I replied, "I've got a Conference Pear buddy."

Oh yes, I well remember my first computer, I still have it to this day, look:


Sometimes the beads would fall off the top rail resulting in my issuing forth with expetives. Yes, I would ab a cus then start over again.


My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.


Presumably, he has no trouble putting it into 'sleep mode'.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1754 on: 25/01/2012 17:06:45 »

Oh yes, I well remember my first computer, I still have it to this day, look:



Sometimes the beads would fall off the top rail resulting in my issuing forth with expetives. Yes, I would ab a cus then start over again.


The bargain store promised me a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn't count on it.



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1755 on: 25/01/2012 17:11:36 »



My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.


Presumably, he has no trouble putting it into 'sleep mode'.


No trouble with 'sleep mode', that is correct.

But I just can't bear it when the computer 'hibernates'!

I hope you don't feel shut down by my remarks.




« Last Edit: 25/01/2012 17:50:06 by demografx »

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1756 on: 25/01/2012 20:51:32 »
I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1757 on: 26/01/2012 02:04:16 »




Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.

And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.

« Last Edit: 26/01/2012 02:12:55 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1758 on: 26/01/2012 10:15:37 »
I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?

But of course you may, or you can restart another. Ether way, welcome back to the mouse house of pun.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1759 on: 26/01/2012 10:23:31 »

Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.


Ah well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

...........I made my mother board.


That's nothing, I've spent my hole life boring people, you know the drill...... "Blah blah blah blah rabbit rabbit blah horizon horizon blah blah drone......" And after all that, I'd go on a bit more.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1760 on: 26/01/2012 15:32:26 »




I know what you mean, Don. It reminds me of a carpenter friend who sat on his drill and was bored to tears.

And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.

« Last Edit: 26/01/2012 15:43:24 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1761 on: 26/01/2012 15:53:08 »

........It reminds me of a carpenter friend who sat on his drill and was bored to tears.


Oooo! Narsety.


And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.


After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!

'Say ah'! When I saw the bill I said AGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1762 on: 26/01/2012 16:20:03 »



I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?


Welcome back to the mouse house of pun.


Chemistry4me:




« Last Edit: 26/01/2012 17:50:10 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1763 on: 26/01/2012 16:38:02 »




And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.
After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!

'Say ah'! When I saw the bill I said AGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!


At the scene of the crime, my dentist's alibi was so full of holes, the police performed a cavity search.

A narsety one!

« Last Edit: 28/01/2012 03:31:00 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1764 on: 26/01/2012 17:01:54 »

After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!




« Last Edit: 26/01/2012 19:03:21 by demografx »

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1765 on: 26/01/2012 20:28:21 »
To tell the tooth, I don't know whether its worse to have a cavity in my wallet or to have all my wisdom removed!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1766 on: 26/01/2012 21:23:05 »


Good one, Chem
« Last Edit: 27/01/2012 01:10:03 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1767 on: 26/01/2012 21:28:31 »

What a sight to see:

Ever see a dentist and manicurist fighting tooth and nail?

« Last Edit: 27/01/2012 21:02:26 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1768 on: 27/01/2012 04:14:56 »
Today, January 27, 2012 is the last day of:
No Name-Calling Week
http://www.nonamecallingweek.org/cgi-bin/iowa/home.html

Words can hurt, both spoken, and also in writing.

For example, an insulting telegram is a barbed wire.


« Last Edit: 27/01/2012 05:01:21 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1769 on: 27/01/2012 08:51:40 »
Quote from: REMOVED DUE TO 'NO NAME-CALLING WEEK'
REMOVED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE POSTER.

Hmmm! Now what do I do?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1770 on: 27/01/2012 08:57:56 »

Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.

And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.


If I were to plagiarise the above and try to sell it here, would that be a fence post?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1771 on: 27/01/2012 09:07:51 »
Today, January 27, 2012 is the last day of:
No Name-Calling Week
http://www.nonamecallingweek.org/cgi-bin/iowa/home.html

Words can hurt, both spoken, and also in writing.

For example, an insulting telegram is a barbed wire.




Why you.......... you.......... you,you, you!




Q. What do you call a man with sponge, jelly and custard in his ears?

A. Removed due to 'no name-calling week'.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1772 on: 27/01/2012 18:14:13 »




Quote from: REMOVED DUE TO 'NO NAME-CALLING WEEK'
REMOVED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE POSTER.

Hmmm! Now what do I do?


Oh! Just curse that #%*ŁĄ€%# bastard!!!!
« Last Edit: 27/01/2012 21:43:01 by demografx »

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1773 on: 27/01/2012 19:15:35 »
Well, aside from scratching your less than hirsute pate in puzzlement, you offer polite comments on their probable abilities, proffer advice on to the best seating position and how best to achieve it, and of course, advice on determining who are their ancestors.

I do find it puzzling that I am often unable to pun effectively, perhaps that is a punnishment meted out to me by the fickle fingers of fate, or I am eternally powerless to puntificate effectively.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1774 on: 27/01/2012 19:35:35 »

Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.

And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.


If I were to plagiarise the above and try to sell it here, would that be a fence post?


No. That would be instead a major offence, I think!

« Last Edit: 27/01/2012 20:59:42 by demografx »

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1775 on: 27/01/2012 20:24:03 »
Would that not be a General of fence, as it is more likely to be a recurring theme in the run of things.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1776 on: 27/01/2012 21:17:31 »





Q. What do you call a man with sponge, jelly and custard in his ears?

A. Removed due to 'no name-calling week'.






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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1777 on: 27/01/2012 23:14:44 »


DON!!!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that January is International Creativity Month.


I told my friend all about your creative writing class, and she said that she had a simile experience.


« Last Edit: 28/01/2012 03:35:27 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1778 on: 27/01/2012 23:17:25 »





Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.

By the way, next time I would recommend getting your cavity fixed by your regular dentist, and not by some guy who is just filling in.

« Last Edit: 27/01/2012 23:25:30 by demografx »

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1779 on: 28/01/2012 04:49:37 »
There needs to be a new definition of 'pundit' as in "someone who offers advice on how to pun(ed) it" [;D]

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1780 on: 28/01/2012 04:54:43 »
Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.
It was acci-dental, the secretary spent all the money buying 1 molar Oral-B and Listerine

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1781 on: 29/01/2012 05:56:52 »

Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.


It was acci-dental, the secretary spent all the money buying 1 molar Oral-B and Listerine


My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.


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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1782 on: 29/01/2012 07:48:24 »
My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.

Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1783 on: 29/01/2012 12:32:32 »


DON!!!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that January is International Creativity Month.


I told my friend all about your creative writing class, and she said that she had a simile experience.




Is that a fax?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1784 on: 29/01/2012 12:34:50 »
My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.

Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?

No, she said "Sorry I didn't mean to dent yours."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1785 on: 29/01/2012 12:41:47 »
International Creativity Month eh?

Well, no problems on that score, I create havoc wherever I go!

Except on a ship, where I tend to create hammock wherever I go. If you cant't work that out, just sleep on it a while.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1786 on: 29/01/2012 12:44:29 »
International Creativity Month eh?

Well, no problems on that score, I create havoc wherever I go!

Except on a ship, where I tend to create hammock wherever I go. If you cant't work that out, just sleep on it a while.

Ggood ggracious, I sssseem tto have developpped a ststuttter!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1787 on: 29/01/2012 21:48:31 »




Ggood ggracious, I sssseem tto have developpped a ststuttter!





Translation: "Th-th-th-th-that's all f-f-f-folks!!"
« Last Edit: 29/01/2012 21:55:53 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1788 on: 29/01/2012 22:05:10 »




My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.



Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?


Chem, all I can say is that she and I don't like driving by and hanging out at the pancake house, that place can gimme the crepes!
« Last Edit: 29/01/2012 22:20:42 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1789 on: 29/01/2012 22:12:13 »

No, she said "Sorry I didn't mean to dent yours."





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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1790 on: 29/01/2012 22:26:36 »
fax.......simile........it took me an hour to get that! : - )   (slow Sunday)

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1791 on: 30/01/2012 06:04:02 »

My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.


Is your wife's name Robin?  Was she driving the Backmobile?  Or was she just hitting on you?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1792 on: 30/01/2012 21:55:49 »





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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1793 on: 30/01/2012 22:28:58 »
Nana nana nana nana,
Nana nana nana nana
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1794 on: 30/01/2012 23:41:36 »


Just like a bat outta hell (going Westward), you thrill us with surprises!

« Last Edit: 31/01/2012 00:56:13 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1795 on: 31/01/2012 01:38:08 »
Well I'm glad somebody is thrilled, because my man thinks I'm batty.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1796 on: 31/01/2012 02:40:22 »

I would just ask him point blank: "What makes you think you are so much batter than me???"

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1797 on: 31/01/2012 02:47:26 »

I would just ask him point blank: "What makes you think you are so much batter than me???"
But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1798 on: 31/01/2012 09:14:45 »
.............But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.

Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........


We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1799 on: 31/01/2012 10:10:41 »
To continue......

We made our pancakes when we were camping in a horsfield. We had pitched our tent close to the edge of the field, so we felt rather marginated. But Hermann had picked a good site. 'E chipped away some rock to make a good flat surface for our camp. Then he scuted around collecting firewood to make a curry. He's a real star and is spurred on by the heat of the moment. While he was cooking, I acted as his 'go for'.

After we ate, I burst forth with a loud belch. Leonard looked at me in disgust. "Leo, pardon me!" I exclaimed, but 'e stunned & boxed me around the ear anyway.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.