Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1900 on: 01/03/2012 15:25:03 »


Don! Stop! You can't get into Heaven upside down!
« Last Edit: 01/03/2012 15:36:38 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1901 on: 01/03/2012 15:51:07 »

If you cross a donkey with can of lubricant, in outer space, would the result be asstroil?




No fancy Award for Don; just an Astral Plain [sp] Award for Don_1.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1902 on: 01/03/2012 17:41:58 »


Don! Stop! You can't get into Heaven upside down!

No, stop messin' about!

Ooer, I feel a little




I hope the mechanic is better than Kenneth Williams, Tony Hancock had enough trouble with him in The Test Pilot.
« Last Edit: 01/03/2012 17:44:00 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1903 on: 01/03/2012 21:19:00 »

I am going to heaven on Saturday.


What the hell are you talking about???




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1904 on: 01/03/2012 22:23:57 »
Does this mean I win an Antonym Award???

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1905 on: 02/03/2012 10:23:48 »
Indeed it does and she is winging her way to sunny California even now. Here is picture of her, so you won't miss her when you go to collect her from the airport.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1906 on: 02/03/2012 10:33:25 »
Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.

Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1907 on: 02/03/2012 15:41:44 »

Indeed it does and she is winging her way to sunny California even now. Here is picture of her, so you won't miss her when you go to collect her from the airport.




I can't wait!! I don't know how to THANK YOU, Don! (Don't worry I'll come up with something heheh!)

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1908 on: 02/03/2012 15:45:18 »

Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.

Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.




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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1909 on: 03/03/2012 09:29:37 »
Its flying lesson day today......
Tally ho................ Up, up and away.........


Off we go chaps ........ AGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!


We apologise for the loss of transmission, normal (if it can be called 'normal') service may be resumed.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1910 on: 04/03/2012 00:16:22 »
Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.

Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.

More agreeable than my Auntie Hissssstamine who is always either jealous or boo-ing someone.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1911 on: 04/03/2012 00:18:57 »
Its flying lesson day today......
Tally ho................ Up, up and away.........


Off we go chaps ........ AGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!


We apologise for the loss of transmission, normal (if it can be called 'normal') service may be resumed.

Don? Hello? Are you still with us? Over and out!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1912 on: 04/03/2012 05:20:19 »

It's flying lesson day today......


We have something in common.

When my last flight hit turbulence, all the other passengers and I went flying.


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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1913 on: 04/03/2012 21:41:34 »
Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too?  Maybe a few mushrooms?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1914 on: 04/03/2012 22:27:30 »

Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too?  Maybe a few mushrooms?


High just don't know, really, Donnah!

But I do know this, that when I was a short order cook while still in college, there was mushroom for improvement.


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1915 on: 04/03/2012 22:38:59 »

Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?

demografx
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Posts: 6666



I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.


Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!


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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1916 on: 05/03/2012 09:58:41 »
Don_1 to air traffic control, requesting permission to land.

Air traffic control to Don_1, you are cleared to land on runway 2. Make your final approach.

Yes folks, I done didded it!

When the instructor said we'd be using a Tomahawk, I got a little concerned. Maybe it would be a case of "Circle the planes, the Injuns are coming." Or perhaps I'd be sat astride a cruise missile.

Look:-


That's me up there in that thar airyplane.
« Last Edit: 05/03/2012 10:18:59 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1917 on: 05/03/2012 10:06:07 »


Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!


Oh my gosh! 66? Strewth! Don't do headstands when you're 66, or you'll be 99 and may FLAKE out.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1918 on: 05/03/2012 10:12:32 »
Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too?  Maybe a few mushrooms?

No, no, I swear I have not been at the fungas or any herbal stuff. I need no mind expanding substances. My mind expanded long ago and is now expended.

Well done, you have pushed Demo into making a 'mushroom' pun.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1919 on: 05/03/2012 15:31:46 »



That's me up there in that thar airyplane.


C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S, Don!!!!!!
« Last Edit: 06/03/2012 06:40:53 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1920 on: 05/03/2012 15:46:43 »

I need no mind expanding substances. My mind expanded long ago and is now expended.



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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1921 on: 06/03/2012 00:27:14 »
I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.

"Bank to the left" said the instructor.
"Is it Barclays?" I retorted, "If it is, I'll drop this sick bag on Bob Diamond's head, that'll be one Bonus he wasn't reckoning on".


(I should point out that the flying school was Bonus Aviation, otherwise that last pun makes no sense. Not that I have a habit of making sense anyway).
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1922 on: 06/03/2012 01:10:11 »
Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!!  Does this make you a bird brain?

I like your Bonus system for the banksters.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1923 on: 06/03/2012 01:44:06 »

Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!!  Does this make you a bird brain?


Propellor-head?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1924 on: 06/03/2012 01:48:47 »

I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.





Don_1 wins The Funny Nude Award!
« Last Edit: 06/03/2012 01:50:21 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1925 on: 06/03/2012 06:45:59 »

I like your Bonus system for the banksters.


Are you implying that they're gangbankers??


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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1926 on: 06/03/2012 09:43:03 »

.........  Does this make you a bird brain?


What an insult! To birds......
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1927 on: 06/03/2012 10:01:21 »
I put some magazines in an ovenproof dish and made a shortcrust pastry top for it. Cooked in a moderate oven for 45 mins.

I call it a Magpie.

Well you may ask, 'What is he crowing on about now?', and you might wonder if I have gone raven bonkers. I would ask my nieghbour, Jack, for his opinion om my mental state, but I am reluctant to knock on Jacksdoor since it is an awful shade of jayd, which makes me feel sick. I have said to him "Cor! Vus a sickly colour."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1928 on: 07/03/2012 00:01:02 »
Oh, I know Jack!  (Uh, oh oh, I think I just insulted myself.) Is it the Jack who lives at four and twenty Blackbird Lane?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1929 on: 07/03/2012 01:17:02 »
Q. Where does a blackbird go for a drink?

A.  To a crow bar.

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1930 on: 07/03/2012 02:33:44 »
Is that where you have a very slight shot at getting drunk and taking "advantage of" Sherill Crow?
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1931 on: 07/03/2012 04:33:01 »
Yes! In fact, Ms. Crow was once in the bar's telephone booth, but she had no money so she had to make a collect caw.



« Last Edit: 07/03/2012 15:46:03 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1932 on: 07/03/2012 07:39:28 »

.......  Does this make you a bird brain?


What an insult! To birds......




« Last Edit: 07/03/2012 19:49:14 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1933 on: 07/03/2012 07:58:14 »

Now I would reveal the coordinates of my aerial escapade so that you could avoid the vicinity for safety sake, {YIKES! Look out, RUN!}




Don't wait! Find out NOW when Don_1 is scheduled to fly near YOU!

Brought to you severely by the International Flight Safety Warning Patrol
« Last Edit: 07/03/2012 19:30:38 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1934 on: 07/03/2012 16:01:13 »
Hehehe, that poor fella must have been at 520 04' 08.20"N x 00 37' 12.91"W on Saturday.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1935 on: 07/03/2012 16:03:11 »
...... and now back to the puns.



It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1936 on: 07/03/2012 19:35:08 »
Ma cawf went away after I took some strong  cawf syrup.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1937 on: 07/03/2012 20:01:03 »


No pun. Just a pretty macaw pic!
« Last Edit: 08/03/2012 06:22:00 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1938 on: 07/03/2012 20:02:24 »

It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.


Oh caw'mon, Don, you know you just wanna wear it so you can show it off and caw crow about it.
« Last Edit: 07/03/2012 21:02:00 by demografx »

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1939 on: 08/03/2012 01:53:23 »
I thought you told me you had bought a MacIncaw
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1940 on: 08/03/2012 05:56:55 »
Nice recall, JimBob! But if you carefully read my little footnote remark, I actually said that I should have bought a MacIncaw.

Instead - like a stubborn old fool who doesn't listen to his own sons who also recommend MacIncaution and MacIntuition - I bought an HP - NOTHING to crow about.

In fact, it's been the caws of soooooo much misery!




January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo


« Last Edit: 08/03/2012 06:32:41 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1941 on: 08/03/2012 08:26:30 »



January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo



Do the printers use only Mac ink or can they use 3rd party cartridges
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1942 on: 08/03/2012 08:43:56 »


No pun. Just a pretty macaw pic!

Beautiful, just beautiful!!!

And how about these:


No, its not a Photoshop job, these are Hyacinth Macaws.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1943 on: 08/03/2012 22:08:01 »



January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo



Do the printers use only Mac ink or can they use 3rd party cartridges


MacPrinters are unwieldy.

Instead, I strongly urge and recommend: a BigMac® (see pic below), no fries, hold the cholesterol. And a Strawberry MacShake® - But a MacDeepFriedApplePie® is optional.

MacPaper for your MacPrinter should be selected carefully. Get double-ply so it can work double shift in the lavatory.


« Last Edit: 09/03/2012 03:08:33 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1944 on: 08/03/2012 22:21:47 »


Don't let this BigMac® steer you from your nutritional/dietetic goals.
« Last Edit: 08/03/2012 22:27:06 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1945 on: 09/03/2012 02:15:41 »

And how about these:


No, its not a Photoshop job, these are Hyacinth Macaws.


Lovely!

Lovely!

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1946 on: 09/03/2012 05:12:17 »
iMac, aw. 
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1947 on: 09/03/2012 06:14:42 »
« Last Edit: 09/03/2012 06:16:57 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1948 on: 09/03/2012 13:59:06 »
iMac, aw

Demo seams to have found that awfuly funny, ore did he? I have a mined to remined him to observe the ground rules.
I believe that's halft of my duty, on the face of it.

Any deviation from the norm may result in a goo feeling in the gut.
« Last Edit: 09/03/2012 14:02:46 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1949 on: 09/03/2012 21:23:14 »

iMac, aw.


Shouldn't that read, "iMac®, aw." ?