Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1950 on: 09/03/2012 22:59:18 »

iMac, aw. 





iMac, aw


Demo seams to have found that awfuly funny, ore did he? I have a mined to remined him to observe the ground rules.
I believe that's halft of my duty, on the face of it.

Any deviation from the norm may result in a goo feeling in the gut.





(Pooch is especially delighted to see his competitor, Goofy, goo feated)
« Last Edit: 10/03/2012 23:56:18 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1951 on: 10/03/2012 14:06:28 »
Many of us do it, I do it regular, we have all goofed at times, but Walt Disnee*.

*Scott's accent required.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1952 on: 10/03/2012 17:27:55 »
Goofy gives some people Disney* spells.

*American accent required
« Last Edit: 10/03/2012 17:34:57 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1953 on: 11/03/2012 00:11:01 »
March 12 - March 18, 2012 is:
International Brain Awareness Week

Are you aware that brawn is not the only thing in life?

Or is this a no-brainer?

Don't be in the rain too long. Umbrella time!
« Last Edit: 11/03/2012 00:44:34 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1954 on: 11/03/2012 05:05:02 »
Hmmm, just how plastic is the brain? 
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1955 on: 11/03/2012 10:42:03 »
March 12 - March 18, 2012 is:
International Brain Awareness Week

Are you aware that brawn is not the only thing in life?

Or is this a no-brainer?

Don't be in the rain too long. Umbrella time!

I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1956 on: 11/03/2012 10:58:28 »
JB should be able to come up with a few puns here, cor, Tex 'cmon, lobe a few puns at this one, don't be nervous.

Let us know when you've posted some, there's a bell, um, where is it now, oh yes, its over there, but only temporaly.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1957 on: 11/03/2012 16:55:11 »

Hmmm, just how plastic is the brain? 


Hmmm.

Dunno.

But a plastic surgeon wants to put my nose to the grindstone.


« Last Edit: 13/03/2012 00:35:44 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1958 on: 11/03/2012 17:01:57 »

I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.




Which one are you and which one is Brian?
« Last Edit: 11/03/2012 17:43:44 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1959 on: 12/03/2012 09:04:25 »

I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.




Which one are you and which one is Brian?

I'm the one who grabbed the wrong end of his club and lost his balls. Are you the one trying to hide behind the flag pole?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1960 on: 12/03/2012 21:06:58 »
                                                 
« Last Edit: 14/03/2012 04:09:05 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1961 on: 12/03/2012 21:20:49 »
March 13, 2012 is:
Open An Umbrella Indoors Day

Is the weather bureau an umbrella organization?
« Last Edit: 13/03/2012 04:13:17 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1962 on: 13/03/2012 08:43:28 »
March 13, 2012 is:
Open An Umbrella Indoors Day

Is the weather bureau an umbrella organization?

I get the feeling they don't use PC's, only Mac's.

News of unrest at the Met Office was described today as being nothing more than a storm in a tea cup. Threats of resignation by chief forecaster Sunny Jim (hailed as one of the best in the world) turned out to be a hoax. Mr Jim said he would continue his rain as chief forecaster and he didn't want such tittle-tattle to cloud his team's attention from looking for the next window of opportunity to any degree.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1963 on: 13/03/2012 20:18:39 »
But Mr. Jim's rain disappeared in a hurry cain't you tell?

Protestors only had to smog him in the chest and simply take over! Easy!

Snow wonder the revolution was so mild.

Mr. Jim complained of a ligament that was torn? Much ado about nothing!
« Last Edit: 14/03/2012 03:40:13 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1964 on: 14/03/2012 01:47:26 »

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1965 on: 14/03/2012 10:10:07 »

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.

Maybe so, but an acumulus much knowledge can cloud the mind.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1966 on: 14/03/2012 21:06:35 »

Cloud the mind? Not always. Didn't Cumulonimbus discover America in 1492?



« Last Edit: 14/03/2012 23:21:05 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1967 on: 14/03/2012 21:26:28 »

I'm the one who grabbed the wrong end of his club and lost his balls.




And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1968 on: 15/03/2012 09:27:06 »

And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!


Typical! Not gold, not silver, not even bronze! Just brass.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1969 on: 15/03/2012 09:29:51 »

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.

If you want to go far an hight, you certainly do.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1970 on: 15/03/2012 16:44:41 »

And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!


Typical! Not gold, not silver, not even bronze! Just brass.

 




Here already! Stop! You know how to get your weigh!
« Last Edit: 16/03/2012 01:07:37 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1971 on: 15/03/2012 18:56:24 »

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.


If you want to go far an hight, you certainly do.



« Last Edit: 15/03/2012 22:03:23 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1972 on: 20/03/2012 01:05:47 »

Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?

demografx
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Posts: 6666



I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.


Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!


And today the $balance on one of my accounts was...666!


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1973 on: 20/03/2012 06:10:31 »
March is:
Berries and Cherries Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/berries.html
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/cherry.html


Berry interesting month is March!

Cherish your fruit intake.

Straw/blue/black/rasp - it's all berry tasty!

Watch your posture; don't drupe

« Last Edit: 20/03/2012 06:21:04 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1974 on: 21/03/2012 10:58:42 »
March is:
Berries and Cherries Month

I presume you found this in some seedy newspaper under currant affairs. Probably berried away in the small print. How many times did you have to go fru it before you found this star? By the way, are you sure you have got the date right? The way I figure it, it should be in September and Anna would have agreed had she not been banned. I think I told you they had to ban Anna, her posts were getting too fruity. Its enough to give you the pip.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1975 on: 21/03/2012 11:02:46 »
........
And today the $balance on one of my accounts was...666!



I just thought I'd check, and low and behold, I have 6.66 in my pocket! Would you believe it?!?!?!

What??? You wouldn't believe it! I don't blame you, its a pack o' lies.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1976 on: 21/03/2012 20:38:23 »
March is:
Berries and Cherries Month


I presume you found this in some seedy newspaper under currant affairs. Probably berried away in the small print. How many times did you have to go fru it before you found this star? By the way, are you sure you have got the date right? The way I figure it, it should be in September and Anna would have agreed had she not been banned. I think I told you they had to ban Anna, her posts were getting too fruity. Its enough to give you the pip.


« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 04:01:21 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1977 on: 21/03/2012 20:39:40 »


...its a pack o' lies.


I tried to pack myself in a suitcase.

I could hardly contain myself.



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1978 on: 22/03/2012 09:03:53 »
I could have told you it would not suit you, not even for a brief moment and had you tried it over-night, you would probably have caught a nasty cold.

Attache!

Bless you. Now you need to flight off this infection. This is indeed a sad case. I shall ask Dr Justin to attend to you, justin case you need some pills.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1979 on: 22/03/2012 21:28:59 »
Thank you for the Gesundheit - I had a pressing urge to sneeze on this train. I need something to read, I'm board. If I train myself, discipline will come. We only pass this way once.

« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 04:51:53 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1980 on: 22/03/2012 23:36:55 »
Are we all uh, bored?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1981 on: 22/03/2012 23:59:01 »

Are we all uh, bored?


The vegetable never taken aboard ship is a leek.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1982 on: 23/03/2012 04:18:21 »
March 19 - March 25
Act Happy Week




Actcept happyness EVERY week!

« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 04:21:39 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1983 on: 23/03/2012 10:26:37 »
Does this mean I have to actcentuate any delusions of joy I may have? That even in my deepest, darkest hour of foreboding I must go around with a perpetual grin about my mush?

Oh woe, woe and thrice woe, that this sour faced old groat must perambulate the streets of doom with a gladiatorial skip in his step, despite the blissters on his feet. Will nobody joyn me in my hour of ha pe....................C - E - N - S - O - R - E - D.....................................

No, no, I really can't do that pun
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1984 on: 23/03/2012 16:51:01 »
You must grin and bear it!

Happy hope reigns supreme!

Why not joyn in on all the fun?

Hippety hoppety happy to you!

Sadists cannot make you sad. Only you can.

Act happy.

Be happy.

Smile even though your heart is bypassed!



« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 16:54:02 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1985 on: 23/03/2012 17:17:16 »

You must grin and bear it!

How kind of you to offer. I'll have a double with tonic, ice and a slice of lemon.
« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 17:20:45 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1986 on: 23/03/2012 19:30:58 »


And a proper serving with nuts on the side.



It's a sloe month.

But please don't fizzle out on us!

« Last Edit: 24/03/2012 07:22:44 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1987 on: 24/03/2012 11:08:06 »

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.


Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?

More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?

Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1988 on: 24/03/2012 11:12:40 »
It has been suggested that I have a drink problem.

I do not.

I drink, I get drunk, I fall over, no problem.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1989 on: 24/03/2012 14:40:44 »

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.


Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?

More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?

Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.





Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
« Last Edit: 24/03/2012 14:45:57 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1990 on: 24/03/2012 15:55:07 »

Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!


How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)

OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*)
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1991 on: 24/03/2012 16:17:54 »
Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.

Headline........ "Al Coe holler"

Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1992 on: 24/03/2012 20:56:14 »

Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!


How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)

OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*)

Now THAT is the kind of Acceptance Speech we can all admonish admire!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1993 on: 24/03/2012 21:00:58 »
Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.

Headline........ "Al Coe holler"

Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?


Don_1 keeps telling us that his drink is non-alcoholic, but where is the proof?
« Last Edit: 24/03/2012 21:10:19 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1994 on: 24/03/2012 21:23:27 »

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.

Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?



« Last Edit: 26/03/2012 02:12:29 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1995 on: 25/03/2012 08:12:06 »
A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1996 on: 26/03/2012 02:09:32 »

A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.


I stole an invention and then told patent lies.


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1997 on: 26/03/2012 09:37:57 »
"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."

I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1998 on: 26/03/2012 09:40:12 »
A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.

Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1999 on: 27/03/2012 02:33:01 »

A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.


Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.


My wife is so thrifty she can smell a bar grin a mall* away.

*shopping centre
« Last Edit: 27/03/2012 02:53:23 by demografx »