Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2150 on: 02/05/2012 17:41:31 »
« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 01:28:40 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2151 on: 03/05/2012 04:39:03 »

It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.


DON_1!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that National Egg Month has a LINK associated with this major disturbance observance.
http://www.aeb.org/

As per the TNS Punning Thread Anniversary Rule 117.003Ar9, "Links must be shown whether they are relevant or not."

Don, please try to think like a blacksmith, who is used to forging strong links with his customers.
« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 05:55:16 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2152 on: 03/05/2012 09:42:57 »

As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales


How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????

(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)

If you had trouble with the accent in that clip, you'll be dumbfounded by Mr. Chomondley-Warner.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2153 on: 03/05/2012 09:56:54 »


I don't want egg on my face for neglecting yet another Award to Don~1.

TNS' CFO will be eggsactly furious about this!

What an eggsquisite award. I am so eggcited you could say I am in eggstacy. I have not felt such eggcileration for an eggstremely long time. I must now sit down to regain my egguilibrium.

But really, these eggy puns are eggceedingly easy, requiring little egguinuity. They can be found in their millions from the poles to the egguator*.

*Restaurant Personnel who serve eggs.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2154 on: 03/05/2012 10:16:45 »


Shame on you, you have failed to point out that National Egg Month has a LINK associated with this major disturbance observance.
http://www.aeb.org/

As per the TNS Punning Thread Anniversary Rule 117.003Ar9, "Links must be shown whether they are relevant or not."

Don, please try to think like a blacksmith, who is used to forging strong links with his customers.


My most humble apologies for this omission. I shall, in future, do as you suggest, think like a blacksmith an' vil in all chains with links where appropriate.

I thank you for your dogged devotion to clawing me back into line with the policies of this punning club of which I hammer pein a member so long, I should know better.
« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 10:24:31 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2155 on: 03/05/2012 16:35:03 »
I hope you noticed the gold - no brass this time.

Otherwise I'm sure you would be complaining to TNS' Award Committee that I have once again not treated you pupperly.


I thank you for your dogged devotion.

« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 20:07:15 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2156 on: 03/05/2012 20:09:34 »

How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????

(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)



If you had trouble with the accent in that clip, you'll be dumbfounded by  Mr. Chomondley-Warner.


You keep this up and that will force me to subject you to torture: unintelligible (US) Southern drawl!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK7CIvZ4PDI&feature=related


« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 21:04:37 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2157 on: 03/05/2012 20:17:07 »

I hammer pein a member so long, I should know better.


You mean that you have hampered our members? Tsk, tsk, I'm sure there's a TNS ordinance/rule somewhere prohibiting this.

« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 20:45:54 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2158 on: 04/05/2012 02:11:49 »

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.



His friend, Father Manny Fold, is a real cartoon character. You'd like him.


« Last Edit: 04/05/2012 02:14:35 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2159 on: 04/05/2012 04:04:04 »

I shall...think like a blacksmith an' vil in all chains with links where appropriate.

I thank you for your dogged devotion to clawing me back into line with the policies of this punning club of which I hammer pein a member so long.



On behalf of The TNS Awards Committee, Don_1 is once again awarded this expensive trophy!



Wow!!

How does Don_1 do this???

He doesn't know which hammer is which, but he somehow nails it anyway!



« Last Edit: 04/05/2012 10:48:25 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2160 on: 04/05/2012 21:01:14 »
How does Don_1 do this???

He doesn't know which hammer is which, but he somehow nails it anyway!


I do make some sort of a plan(ish). I sit in a darkened room and set my mind to zinking about what in heavens name might be related to the subject matter, iron out the flaws and nick el of your ideas.

Ooops, I shouldn't have admited to that. Demo will be after me. Scared? Me? Man, ga nese are knocking already!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2161 on: 06/05/2012 01:58:08 »

His friend, Father Manny Fold, is a real cartoon character. You'd like him.


Bellows with laughter.

I don't wish to cast dispersions upon you Demo, but look:

demografx

Your signature is easily forged.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2162 on: 06/05/2012 03:53:37 »
Your sad case hardened my opinion.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2163 on: 06/05/2012 05:56:58 »
But Euro pinion has no bearing on this matter.
« Last Edit: 06/05/2012 06:16:24 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2164 on: 06/05/2012 06:08:28 »

I do make some sort of a plan(ish)
.


Careful you don't bully people with sheet metal.


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2165 on: 07/05/2012 11:34:24 »

I don't wish to cast dispersions upon you Demo, but look:

demografx

Your signature is easily forged.


Why <sputter> this is the last, blasted fate I thought would befall me.

And I should also go after those mortar forgers who sold me that inferior concrete!

I'm so upset this is giving me the bends. Even the other forum members are laughing at me as if they were a live TV audience. I tell you, it's cast irony.

But I'm hungry now, so I'll go instead and eat a charcoal broiled hamburger, and maybe ann eal sushi on the side instead of fries.

Might that qualify me for a JUNIOR ?

« Last Edit: 07/05/2012 11:45:47 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2166 on: 07/05/2012 11:37:01 »
Today is:
Accountant's Day or Accounting Day
(They can't seem to make up their mind)
http://www.accountingday.org/

Will this be yet another excuse for TNS' CFO to demand cutbacks to The Awards Committee and washroom amenities budget? Again?

(This is marked "confidential and urgent")

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2167 on: 08/05/2012 10:48:26 »
I have decided to drop forgery because you have obviously smelt a rat.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2168 on: 08/05/2012 10:50:00 »
I wasted the whole day yesterday taking note of how many insects crawled out of a hole in the ground,
all because someone told me it was a count ant day.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2169 on: 08/05/2012 15:53:12 »


Yes he is!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2170 on: 09/05/2012 12:58:14 »
Did I post this in the wrong thread?


Το  Σ  ιτ  uπ  μαθ  ιζ  αλλ  Γρεεκ

O me gad!!! What did you say?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2171 on: 09/05/2012 13:10:21 »


Yes he is!

Is what? From the caucasus? Is a screwball? Is a show stopper? Is a caucasian?

Your post has so many holes in it, that it needs caulking.

Are you bottling something up? Tell me, I am here to help, you can calk talk to me any time.
« Last Edit: 09/05/2012 13:12:11 by Don_1 »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2172 on: 09/05/2012 13:50:14 »
Did I post this in the wrong thread?


Το  Σ  ιτ  uπ  μαθ  ιζ  αλλ  Γρεεκ

O me gad!!! What did you say?

Actualy, perhaps that should have been:

Ωd, what did you say?

Yes, that would have δ blow to this thread.
« Last Edit: 09/05/2012 13:54:22 by Don_1 »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2173 on: 09/05/2012 13:51:35 »


Yes he is!

Is what? From the caucasus? Is a screwball? Is a show stopper? Is a caucasian?

Your post has so many holes in it, that it needs caulking.

Are you bottling something up? Tell me, I am here to help, you can calk talk to me any time.

My official psychiatric diagnosis:

You hardly seem aware of what's going on.

Over the top, probably due to bottled up emotions suddenly released.

Herr Professor Doktor Demografx
MD, BS, MS, PhD, IMHO, GMTA, WTF

ps - they say you drink 2 bottles of whisky a day, but it isn't true. You must scotch those rumours right away!




« Last Edit: 09/05/2012 14:33:28 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2174 on: 09/05/2012 13:57:50 »
Did I post this in the wrong thread?


Το  Σ  ιτ  uπ  μαθ  ιζ  αλλ  Γρεεκ

O me gad!!! What did you say?

Actualy, perhaps that should have been:

Ωd, what did you say?

Yes, that would have δ blow to this thread.


Don, not to worry, you're always Omicron Kappa in my book : - )
« Last Edit: 09/05/2012 13:59:27 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2175 on: 09/05/2012 14:15:36 »
Perhaps I had β not come up with any more of these, it might be misconstrued as φosophical μtaion of the γ punning. But this opens up a whole new can of worms* and la tin is overflowing with possibilities.

*Other cans of somewhat more desirable π fillings are available.
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2176 on: 09/05/2012 14:23:36 »

Don, not to worry, you're always Omicron Kappa in my book : - )


Ο κ. Thank you kind sir, θ is a nice thing to say to me and to anyone of χnese origin.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2177 on: 09/05/2012 14:26:49 »
O mi, cronological disaster here, I must kapp a dis off and get on with some work.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2178 on: 09/05/2012 14:59:16 »
Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2179 on: 09/05/2012 16:29:17 »
Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!

Ut est securus pro vobis loquor.


***Perhaps, for those who's Latin is as crap as mine and in case that is wrong, I should translate:-
That's easy for you to say.***
« Last Edit: 09/05/2012 16:43:02 by Don_1 »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2180 on: 10/05/2012 05:56:02 »
Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!

Ut est securus pro vobis loquor.


***Perhaps, for those who's Latin is as crap as mine and in case that is wrong, I should translate:-
That's easy for you to say.***

Utter nonsense.

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!

« Last Edit: 10/05/2012 06:06:03 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2181 on: 10/05/2012 08:35:47 »

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!


That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2182 on: 10/05/2012 18:55:07 »
Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)

And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2183 on: 11/05/2012 00:14:12 »
Today is:
May 11, 2012
Cinco de Mayo

Punning thread: where we stay on TOP of current events!


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2184 on: 11/05/2012 01:33:15 »

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!


That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"


And now she spills the beans?

It's not right, I tell you.

Grounds for divorce.

« Last Edit: 11/05/2012 12:29:02 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2185 on: 11/05/2012 12:32:50 »

And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!


Right!

And I'm not as dumb as everyone says, either.

Hmph. That'll show 'im!


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2186 on: 11/05/2012 15:32:01 »
Today is:
May 11, 2012
Cinco de Mayo

Punning thread: where we stay on TOP of current events!



Now, I'll admit my Spannish ain't great, nor my maths (US = math) and even my chronology is somewhat lacking, but.......

Oh! I get it now, Cinco, as in "Spannish economy has gone down the plug hole in the sinko."

By jove, Demo, you are on the ball, if you get any more up-to-the-minute, you'll be in the future.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2187 on: 11/05/2012 15:34:39 »

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!


That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"


And now she spills the beans?

It's not right, I tell you.

Grounds for divorce.



Now, now, don't get grouty.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2188 on: 11/05/2012 15:36:07 »

And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!


Right!

And I'm not as dumb as everyone says, either.

Hmph. That'll show 'im!



It certainly did, I've never seen a 'hmph' before.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2189 on: 11/05/2012 15:40:28 »

Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)


I can sing in two keys; Yale & Chub. You'd be morticedified to hear it.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2190 on: 12/05/2012 00:36:58 »

Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)


1. "Hey" is for horses.

2. No, I do not like the number of keys: 89 has more panache.

3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.

« Last Edit: 12/05/2012 00:39:23 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2191 on: 12/05/2012 00:42:54 »

I've never seen a 'hmph' before.


Oh, come now, Don_1, we ALL know the truth about you and certain cavorting nymphs (soul sisters of hmphs).

<wink>

Your secret is safe. And TNS' Senior Womanizer Member Bailout Program is always there for the asking.

ps - if you and/or the wife come to visit us, don't forget that the speed limit here is 75mph.

« Last Edit: 12/05/2012 00:56:24 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2192 on: 12/05/2012 01:27:09 »

I've never seen a 'hmph' before.


Oh, come now, Don_1, we ALL know the truth about you and certain cavorting nymphs (soul sisters of hmphs).


Who let the cat out of the bag? Tch tch tch, is nothing sacred anymore?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2193 on: 12/05/2012 01:30:50 »

3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.


They can always recognise the ceiling!!!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2194 on: 12/05/2012 01:52:13 »

By jove, Demo, you are on the ball, if you get any more up-to-the-minute, you'll be in the future.




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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2195 on: 12/05/2012 02:49:58 »

3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.


They can always recognise the ceiling!!!


Piano players are considered to be Baldwin they lose their hair.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2196 on: 12/05/2012 11:48:56 »
..... and pegged out when they are legless.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2197 on: 12/05/2012 12:01:44 »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2198 on: 12/05/2012 20:02:03 »

I'll admit my Spannish ain't great...


You just can't let go of that anna doll/honey/sweetie-pie, can you???

Admit it!
« Last Edit: 13/05/2012 05:07:11 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2199 on: 13/05/2012 05:11:59 »

Oh! I get it now, Cinco, as in "Spannish economy has gone down the plug hole in the sinko."


Yes, Titanically speaking.
« Last Edit: 13/05/2012 05:15:26 by demografx »