Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2200 on: 14/05/2012 09:10:16 »

egguator*

*Restaurant Personnel who serve eggs.





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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2201 on: 14/05/2012 13:39:49 »

I'll admit my Spannish ain't great...


You just can't let go of that anna doll/honey/sweetie-pie, can you???

Admit it!

I categorically dannay deny any such suggestion.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2202 on: 14/05/2012 14:20:22 »
Don_1, you're lucky you're not in France.

They would not look kindly AT ALL on your association with Paris' finest and hottest and wildest lady of the evening (yes, you guessed right: Anna!)

In cold, hard fact, it's...a crime!

As you will see sooner than later, French gendarmes don't use yellow crime scene tape but prefer cordon bleu.


« Last Edit: 14/05/2012 14:23:41 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2203 on: 14/05/2012 17:59:55 »
Tch, tch, tch. Your speelling leeves a loot two bee dezired, awe iz it the frensch hwo nead lessens.




With the language he uses, Cordon Ramsay should be renamed Gordon Blue*.

*Gnote the korekt speellling ov thiss werd, B L U E (or bloo).


If the French gendarmes send two dirty low down bum hit men to get me, would they be ass ass ins?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2204 on: 15/05/2012 04:45:15 »

If the French gendarmes send two dirty low down bum hit men to get me, would they be ass ass ins?


No, the French gendarmes will send only one hit man to get you.

The other hit man is a murderer who just got sick with heartburn because of something the assassinate.

« Last Edit: 15/05/2012 05:38:12 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2205 on: 15/05/2012 15:52:54 »

Today is:
Accountant's Day or Accounting Day



I wasted the whole day yesterday taking note of how many insects crawled out of a hole in the ground,
all because someone told me it was a count ant day.



« Last Edit: 15/05/2012 15:57:00 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2206 on: 15/05/2012 18:00:01 »
It looks as if I am in the clear. The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.

Perhaps they were Spannish!

Best warn any members in India, perhaps they might be daft enough to commit an ass ass in asian.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2207 on: 16/05/2012 01:10:03 »

Perhaps they were Spannish!


Hungarian airport officials told the fans "Bu can rest yourselves here and watch the match on TV."
But police ejected one fan saying "But da pest will have to go."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2208 on: 16/05/2012 01:43:03 »
Are we really that hungary for puns?

But at least we don't have to worry about Rome and India.
« Last Edit: 17/05/2012 15:18:04 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2209 on: 16/05/2012 02:00:20 »

It looks as if I am in the clear. The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.

Perhaps they were Spannish!


Best warn any members in India, perhaps they might be daft enough to commit an ass ass in ASIAn.


You're not fooling me or anyone else here for even one moment.

You're just looking for an excuse to go to ASIA by way of Afghanna anna*stan!

*Elegant counterpoint to ass ass

« Last Edit: 20/05/2012 08:54:45 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2210 on: 16/05/2012 02:31:50 »
We're talking about buns again?  As Homer says; dough!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2211 on: 16/05/2012 02:54:47 »

We're talking about buns again?


We must.

Don_1 just took a job as a baker; and he already has ten children and yet there's always a bun in the oven.

We must stop him, Donnah.

For his own sake.


As Homer says; dough!


Donnah, it is our doughty.

« Last Edit: 17/05/2012 05:29:07 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2212 on: 17/05/2012 05:18:53 »
And yes, I love it when you talk doughty to me.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2213 on: 17/05/2012 06:17:43 »

[Hungarian] police ejected one fan saying "But da pest will have to go."

The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.



« Last Edit: 18/05/2012 16:26:59 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2214 on: 18/05/2012 03:41:33 »

We're talking about buns again?


We must.

Don_1 just took a job as a baker; and he already has ten children and yet there's always a bun in the oven.

We must stop him, Donnah.

For his own sake.


As Homer says; dough!


Donnah, it is our doughty.


Hide the yeast; no rise, no buns (in the oven).
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2215 on: 19/05/2012 04:56:41 »
Hide the yeast?

OK, but will Don_1 still be able to rise to the occasion???

It would undoubtedly lift his mood.

« Last Edit: 19/05/2012 20:40:28 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2216 on: 20/05/2012 05:26:14 »
Does he really knead to rise?  Maybe flours will cheer him up.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2217 on: 20/05/2012 07:38:53 »


« Last Edit: 20/05/2012 08:02:50 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2218 on: 20/05/2012 07:44:57 »

Does he really knead to rise?  Maybe flours will cheer him up.


Flour? Yeast? These things cost a lotta dough, Donnah.

I don't usually have that much bread in the bank.

I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!
« Last Edit: 20/05/2012 08:43:12 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2219 on: 20/05/2012 11:18:41 »

Does he really knead to rise?  Maybe flours will cheer him up.


Flour? Yeast? These things cost a lotta dough, Donnah.

I don't usually have that much bread in the bank.

I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!


I'm sure you'll be able to butter him up Donnah.
« Last Edit: 20/05/2012 11:22:02 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2220 on: 20/05/2012 11:20:34 »

OK, but will Don_1 still be able to rise to the occasion???


Yes I will and I can prove it.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2221 on: 20/05/2012 11:27:40 »

I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!


And there I was thinking you were on a roll!

I heard you were quite jammy.


Speaking of which, Sir Walter Raleigh was famous for laying his cape over a puddle so that QE 1st would not get her feet wet. She asked him "Did you do that for me Walt?" He replied "Yes Marm a laid it to protect the royal tootsies."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2222 on: 20/05/2012 16:50:10 »
Royal tootsies lol!!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2223 on: 20/05/2012 18:01:11 »
May 15 to May 21, 2012
World Trade Week
Tomorrow is the last day!

Why is it week? I thought world commerce was really strong?

I wouldn't trade my existence for someone else's.



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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2224 on: 21/05/2012 23:09:40 »
Not even upper crust?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2225 on: 22/05/2012 08:53:17 »

I wouldn't trade my existence for someone else's.


Not even upper crust?





Something for the Upper Crust (pun intended) - Batch Bread

But if you mean upper class, the students on the top floor of the school are  _always_  upper class.


« Last Edit: 22/05/2012 09:03:30 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2226 on: 24/05/2012 07:17:18 »
My definition of upper is likely different than most.  I am delighted to be a crusty old bread though.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2227 on: 25/05/2012 03:10:24 »

My definition of upper is likely different than most.


I just had an upper GI done. For fun. (rhymes : - )
« Last Edit: 25/05/2012 03:12:43 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2228 on: 25/05/2012 12:19:20 »
I just had an upper GI done
I really only did it for fun
Now my troubles have begun
The GI brought his awful son.

In a race between me and this one
Beneath a bright and burning sun
Even before the race was run
I felt my feet weighed a ton.

I had the urge to make a pun
As I sank my teeth in a current bun
And the starter then fired his gun
Which distressed a passing nun.

She slapped the burly starter hun
Around and around he was spun
When he recovered from this stun
He drove off in his Shogun.

So the moral you might expects
Not do like Demografx
But to sit and reflects
And clean those bloody dirty specs.



What a load of rubbish!


If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2229 on: 25/05/2012 18:35:17 »


Two out of three (2/3) Gastroenterologists Worldwide recommend Don_1 poetry as a serious therapeutic adjunct.

Don't forget to see Don's TV commercial on the very next episode of "Gastroenterologists Gone Wild!" (seen on HBO and BBC nightly).

It's a gas!

Check your local TV listings.



« Last Edit: 26/05/2012 01:07:22 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2230 on: 26/05/2012 02:26:59 »
2/3 Gastroenterologists are seriously bonkers.

They are grasping at straws and gasping for breath.

If a gaol breaker can be termed as an escape ologist. could a house breaker be termed as an enter ologist?


Is Gastroenterology the study of farting?
« Last Edit: 26/05/2012 02:28:51 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2231 on: 27/05/2012 04:18:03 »

If a gaol breaker can be termed as an escape ologist. could a house breaker be termed as an enter ologist?


« Last Edit: 28/05/2012 07:38:49 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2232 on: 30/05/2012 05:57:08 »
And he hURLs himself out of the helicopter.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2233 on: 30/05/2012 07:30:14 »
I don't understand the link, Donnah.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2234 on: 30/05/2012 07:31:09 »
You mean to say it's a...hURLicopter?
« Last Edit: 30/05/2012 14:58:39 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2235 on: 30/05/2012 15:29:23 »
Tch, tch, U R L when you get in this funny mood.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2236 on: 30/05/2012 15:54:34 »
I don't understand the link, Donnah.

I am just seeking better lynx for you to follow. But I am being careful as I don't want you to get air sick or sky sick, while you are up there where le birds fly.

They say that Russian helicopters aren't a pache on on Westlands. Ah well, chin ook up!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2237 on: 30/05/2012 16:34:44 »


Don_1: Attention re your helicopter

TNS' CFO requests that you please move said vehicle as soon as humanly convenient. He said you are now obstructing the entrance to TNS' Executive Offices Wash Room. Just down the hall from TNS' West Wing.

Hurry! This blocked rest, wash room is making me claustrophobic! Move that chopper! I have more posts to write!!!


« Last Edit: 30/05/2012 17:37:06 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2238 on: 30/05/2012 19:24:20 »
Whoever made that request is full of crap.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2239 on: 31/05/2012 07:28:06 »
So CFO means Crap Fulla Officer???

CEO is Crap Exit Officer?

I won't ask about the Chair of THIS company!

I don't want to be a sitting duck. Lame Duck? Yeah, that's much easier for me to be.
« Last Edit: 31/05/2012 07:49:49 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2240 on: 31/05/2012 08:28:11 »
So, my chopper is getting in peoples way eh!? That's a first!!!

Right then, I'll buzz off to somewhere more accomodating, like the rotory Club.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2241 on: 31/05/2012 08:37:29 »
ITS NATIONAL I SCREAM WEEK!!!

Have I misunderstood something?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2242 on: 01/06/2012 13:56:29 »
I shall begin my appreciation of this event on sundae.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2243 on: 02/06/2012 20:09:41 »
ITS NATIONAL I SCREAM WEEK!!!

Have I misunderstood something?


You like the movies so much, couldn't you just as well have had a...

 PRIVATE 

                                           SCREAMING?
« Last Edit: 02/06/2012 20:28:52 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2244 on: 02/06/2012 20:14:03 »

Whoever made that request is full of crap.




Yes, Donnah, but if he's full of carp, we should get a nice commission when he sells it!

« Last Edit: 03/06/2012 06:14:05 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2245 on: 02/06/2012 20:26:47 »

I shall begin my appreciation of this event on sundae.


Aha! Soda truth is finally being revealed by Don_1: 

"It was a sundae when Abe 'n Anna split."

Thank you, Don! I've been remiss; I just haven't been keeping up with my 'Biblical Facts/Statistics/Outliers/Holy Truths' course. I hope I pass/fail.
 
(Boy, does Anna ever get around, or what???)


« Last Edit: 03/06/2012 04:03:51 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2246 on: 03/06/2012 05:41:46 »

I'll buzz off to somewhere more accomodating, like the rotory Club.


Or perhaps like The New World Rotor? Or,  you can always land on The Flying Nuns, or park at the Freemasons (but they charge too much). Then there's always plenty of parking spaces at Rosy Cross, a Wing of The Red Cross, and of course The Kites of Columbus are always sympathetic to what's up in the air. Your choice.

« Last Edit: 04/06/2012 03:31:46 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2247 on: 04/06/2012 17:46:38 »
Even after the Hindenburg disaster they are doing it again with the Build-a-burg.  Since the Hindenburg looked like a hot dog I guess the Build-a-burg will be like a hamburger.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2248 on: 05/06/2012 01:50:37 »


Donnah, as you requested I located The Hindenburg in The Hamburger (newspaper).

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2249 on: 05/06/2012 21:48:15 »
Where DO you get this stuff?  Got a pic of the Build-a-burgers?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn