Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2300 on: 24/06/2012 09:02:44 »


Odyn loves cantaloupe and papaya.



Odyn said, "OK Papa ya gonna try to stop us?"


Mom:  "Ted, ask Daddy if he's ill."

Ted:    "Papaya sick?"




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2301 on: 24/06/2012 09:12:33 »
« Last Edit: 24/06/2012 09:15:51 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2302 on: 24/06/2012 09:39:09 »
Guess where I'm going....

[attachment=16494]
The Lemon 24hr race.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2303 on: 24/06/2012 20:59:55 »
10 hours!!!!!????? Oh my Thor!!


"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her.



The melon boy cried when he seed she meant it and, needing comfort, he hugged his dog, the melon-collie.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2304 on: 25/06/2012 02:01:12 »
Awww!!!

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2305 on: 25/06/2012 20:56:03 »
Which one is dyslexic, Blind Lemon Jefferson, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3yd-c91ww8
or Blind Lemon Chitlin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ0Ls86YfPA&feature=related ?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2306 on: 25/06/2012 21:16:36 »


As you requested!

(Hmm, wonder if he plays piano...)
« Last Edit: 25/06/2012 21:21:42 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2307 on: 26/06/2012 04:50:39 »
June 26, 2012 is:
International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking

Odyn, take heed!


My human misleads you.  I had the plant in my mouth but I didn't inhale.

Odyn


Odyn, have your lawyer help you modify your post as it is incriminating.

« Last Edit: 26/06/2012 05:18:13 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2308 on: 26/06/2012 06:54:45 »
Guess where I'm going....

[attachment=16494]
The Lemon 24hr race.

Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2309 on: 26/06/2012 18:03:07 »
Guess where I'm going....

[attachment=16494]
The Lemon 24hr race.

Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!

Sucker!!! 
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2310 on: 26/06/2012 23:06:47 »
When life gives you melons, are you supposed to make melonade???
« Last Edit: 26/06/2012 23:15:19 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2311 on: 27/06/2012 01:08:52 »
Guess where I'm going....

[attachment=16494]
The Lemon 24hr race.

Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!

Sucker!!! 

Sure. You can, too!! 

« Last Edit: 27/06/2012 01:11:23 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2312 on: 27/06/2012 01:17:54 »
When life gives you melons, are you supposed to make melonade???

If you suffer a mountainous stomach ache after eating an Indian Pomme, could you be suffering from the Appalachians?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2313 on: 27/06/2012 15:00:56 »
Demo thought that post was a tad on the obtuse side. Allow moi to extrapolate.

Filthy swine, you do that sort of thing behind closed doors!


Mountains = Huge bits of Terra Firma poking up in the air.
Indian = Asian.
Pomme = Apple.

Pomme + Indian = apple asian = Appalachian Mountains
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2314 on: 27/06/2012 15:02:34 »
I seriously need help.

Is there a trick cyclist in the house?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2315 on: 27/06/2012 20:02:18 »
Don_1, thank you for sparing me the embarrassment of posting "Indianapolis here I come" in reply to your now un-obtuse post : - )

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2316 on: 27/06/2012 20:07:30 »

I seriously need help.

Is there a trick cyclist in the house?


No, but my French Auntie Déprésiance can help.


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2317 on: 27/06/2012 20:33:24 »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2318 on: 27/06/2012 20:39:06 »
Would someone kindly change the subject? I'm out of lemon gifs.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2319 on: 28/06/2012 00:46:46 »
Would someone kindly change the subject? I'm out of lemon gifs.



Is one to presume the title of this one is 'Gif us a kiss'?

Here, have this one on me:


I have a whole battery of them!


Guess where I nicked that piccy from http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/kitchenscience/exp/charging-ipods-with-lemons/
« Last Edit: 28/06/2012 00:48:31 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2320 on: 28/06/2012 02:34:23 »
Wait a sec.

Are you allowing Real Science on this thread???

Horrors.

<praying to Thor for battery puns to be more (+) or less (-) fluid>

You'll see! My nonsense Non-Science will prove far superior!

Ohmmmm.

No acid remarks, please!




« Last Edit: 28/06/2012 07:27:32 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2321 on: 28/06/2012 02:36:22 »




I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.

Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2322 on: 28/06/2012 03:02:15 »

I have a whole battery of them!


I got angry when my cell phone battery died.

My psychiatrist suggested I find an outlet.

I guess that's why he gets paid the big bucks.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2323 on: 28/06/2012 06:18:47 »

Here, have this one on me:




Why, thank you!

Could this be some kind of Thread Award from Don_1 that shows what the average person (or lemon, in this case) looks like after reading our posts?

« Last Edit: 28/06/2012 07:05:29 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2324 on: 01/07/2012 04:26:16 »




I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.

Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
sour-puss
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2325 on: 02/07/2012 16:16:31 »




I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.

Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
sour-puss

Let's you, me, and Don_1 get together and lemonstrate! Protest!
« Last Edit: 02/07/2012 16:57:32 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2326 on: 03/07/2012 10:09:32 »

Let's you, me, and Don_1 get together and lemonstrate! Protest!


Why, of course, why did we think of it before. As Sherlock would have said, 'Lemonentry my dear Watson'.

After I had been sucking on a lemon and tried to speak, a chap with a speech impediment said to me, 'Are you taking the pith?'
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2327 on: 08/07/2012 11:38:13 »

After I had been sucking on a lemon and tried to speak, a chap with a speech impediment said to me, 'Are you taking the pith?'


Don_1 replied, "No, but we've run out of lemons!", Don said bitterly.


« Last Edit: 09/07/2012 02:48:22 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2328 on: 08/07/2012 18:24:36 »








He couldn't handle the daily rind.

« Last Edit: 08/07/2012 21:52:06 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2329 on: 09/07/2012 09:49:34 »
Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2330 on: 09/07/2012 19:47:45 »
Is citrus alone who squeeze words to bring lemon aid to all?  Perhaps we can package it in bio-tins and send it to the sour-pusses of the world.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2331 on: 10/07/2012 03:12:58 »


Don't we all deserve some lemon meringue pie for all these beautifully bitter lemon puns???

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2332 on: 10/07/2012 07:15:34 »

Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?




Yes! Don_1 wins The Sublime T-Shirt Award! (SUBmarine...LIME...get it? All that plus Lemon Fish!!!)
« Last Edit: 10/07/2012 07:17:44 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2333 on: 10/07/2012 14:41:17 »


Don't we all deserve some lemon meringue pie for all these beautifully bitter lemon puns???

Ooo! I haven't that for years!

I'm er 'anging about for a healthy slice of pie.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2334 on: 10/07/2012 15:06:16 »
As I was going to Scarborough Fair,
I met a man who had no hair.
'What ho baldy' said I and laughed,
'Wrong rhyme' said he, 'I think your daft.'

'What's that?' I questioned of the man
And turned my head my ears to pan.
I have some custard and sponge in this ear
And in the other jelly and orange appear.

'Custard and sponge in one orifice
Jelly and orange,that can't be very nice'
You're either a very clumsy chef
Or I think that you are a triffle deaf.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2335 on: 10/07/2012 21:50:53 »
Hear, hear!!!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2336 on: 11/07/2012 02:28:18 »
As I was going to Scarborough Fair,
I met a man who had no hair.
'What ho baldy' said I and laughed,
'Wrong rhyme' said he, 'I think your daft.'

'What's that?' I questioned of the man
And turned my head my ears to pan.
I have some custard and sponge in this ear
And in the other jelly and orange appear.

'Custard and sponge in one orifice
Jelly and orange,that can't be very nice'
You're either a very clumsy chef
Or I think that you are a triffle deaf.

Hear, hear!!!



Donnah hearby confirms that Don_1 is hearby Awarded the coveted 2012 Annual (each and every year) Creative Food-In-Orifices Award! Wild applause!!!!
« Last Edit: 11/07/2012 06:44:48 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2337 on: 11/07/2012 07:03:28 »

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Sometimes I detect confucian in Don_1's puns.

Yet I cant honestly say why.

But right now I am hungry and want to chow down.

And don't tell me that's mandarintory!


« Last Edit: 12/07/2012 06:19:50 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2338 on: 12/07/2012 03:17:55 »
Ah, so, Confucious say, man who put bunwich on headphones got bunny ears.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2339 on: 12/07/2012 04:21:07 »
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?

A. Unique up on it.

Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?

A. Tame way.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2340 on: 12/07/2012 10:31:00 »

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Sometimes I detect confucian in Don_1's puns.

Yet I cant honestly say why.

But right now I am hungry and want to chow down.

And don't tell me that's mandarintory!




Please, please, please, don't do this again without giving prior warning. When such language is used, I have to keep my patella's covered because I have shy knees. I need time to prepare, I cant on demand just cover them, or they may end up peeking out. I must keep my mouth closed or now see tongue go the same way as my knees.

LOOK OUT!!!

What's happening? there's esch wan of my knee's uncovered.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2341 on: 12/07/2012 10:38:14 »

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Translation:-

The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not


Yep, anything you say.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2342 on: 12/07/2012 11:05:52 »
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?

A. Unique up on it.

Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?

A. Tame way.

Have you been at the Christmas crackers again?

Two can play at that game.

How do you make an apple tart?

Take away its sugar.

How do you poach a pear?

Poach one, then poach another one.

Why do you never go hungry at the seaside?

Because of the sandwhich is there.

I needed to borrow some money, so I got a drum, so I could go ta da bank, ta da bank, ta da bank bank bank.


Don't blame me! You started it.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2343 on: 13/07/2012 02:58:43 »
Blame you?? I love it!!!!!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2344 on: 13/07/2012 03:03:00 »

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Translation:-

The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not


Yep, anything you say.


Do you find anything wrong with this fine translation?????
« Last Edit: 13/07/2012 03:07:37 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2345 on: 13/07/2012 07:53:03 »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2346 on: 13/07/2012 08:32:27 »

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Translation:-

The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not


Yep, anything you say.


I want to say, very sincerely, this one was hilarious. And I'm NOT mirthing over the recent house of mirrors visit with Odyn. This one's funnier, Don_1!

« Last Edit: 13/07/2012 08:34:19 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2347 on: 14/07/2012 04:08:53 »

Hey, where did you get Odyn's picture from?

Actually I have a very funny pic of Odyn "helping" on the TNS site.  If I ever get to finish unpacking, I'll post it when I find it.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2348 on: 14/07/2012 05:21:00 »
Since Odyn is seeking counsel and defense representation for the "innocent plant in mouth" unlikely story, I would ask Odyn's permission to re-print the photo. Make sure you get it in scratching writing.

I would hate to see you feline bad for getting sued by your own kitty.
« Last Edit: 14/07/2012 06:58:38 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2349 on: 15/07/2012 12:14:56 »
Today is St Swithin's day.

If it rains today, it will rain for 40 days & 40 nights.

Ah well, at least there's an end in sight.

St Swithin, Bishop of Winchester, died in 862. On his death bed he asked to be buried in a humble grave outside the cathedral wall so 'sweet rain from Heaven' would fall on his grave.

The Monks thought this no fitting last resting place for a Bishop, so they built a shrine for his remains inside the cathedral. On the 15th July 971, they were to move his remains into the shrine. Legend has it that on that day and for the next 40 days and nights it pissed down there was torrential rain. The monks abandoned their plans, thinking it was St Swithin crying in despair.

Has some bugger moved his bones recently???
« Last Edit: 15/07/2012 12:16:57 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.