Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2600 on: 03/12/2012 17:03:39 »
I get the feeling there's something fishy going on here.

Please no pictures of a cat with an aqualung, entitled 'Catfish' or it will be a slap with a wet kipper for you.



Is a wet kipper someone who falls asleep in the bath?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2601 on: 03/12/2012 19:59:52 »
I'm watching the fish from my perch.

A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
« Last Edit: 03/12/2012 20:19:04 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2602 on: 04/12/2012 00:16:14 »
Water you saying?  I don't speak fish.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2603 on: 04/12/2012 04:43:24 »


It's never too late to learn, Donnah!

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2604 on: 04/12/2012 14:51:30 »
White fish speak with fishfork tongue.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2605 on: 04/12/2012 15:01:26 »
I'm watching the fish from my perch.

A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.


Is there a porpoise for you mentioning this? We were having a whale of a time with puns of a marine nature.

Anyone for fish & chips? Or would you prefer your potatoes dolphinoise?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2606 on: 04/12/2012 15:14:40 »
You're right, Don_1, my behavior above was indeed fishy. Just don't throw me the bird. Please!

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2607 on: 04/12/2012 16:27:00 »
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.

Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.

"Is this the first time you've been up before me?"

I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2608 on: 04/12/2012 23:05:53 »
I'm usually day-lighted to get up.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2609 on: 05/12/2012 00:54:08 »
I'm usually green-lighted to make the bed.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2610 on: 05/12/2012 17:03:43 »
Green is the colour of envy.

Envy ran off to Gretna Green to get married............. Envy lope.

The priest said, "Letters pray."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2611 on: 05/12/2012 18:36:37 »
Letters pray indeed!  What a post!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2612 on: 05/12/2012 19:07:03 »
Letters pray indeed!

1.   If we canteloupe lettuce marry!

2.   Ever tried honeymoon salad? It's lettuce alone.
« Last Edit: 05/12/2012 19:31:15 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2613 on: 05/12/2012 19:29:01 »
December, 2012 is:
Awareness Month of Awareness Months Month


Were YOU caught unawares?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2614 on: 07/12/2012 11:06:54 »
Were YOU caught unawares?

I have occasionally been caught in my underwear.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2615 on: 07/12/2012 11:23:45 »
Are you aware that July is national eye injury prevention month?

So this month, be aware that you can poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick without fear of recrimination.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2616 on: 07/12/2012 17:15:14 »
Thank you, Don_1, EYE now consider myself fully informed.

By the way, have you seen the EYEfel Tower?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2617 on: 07/12/2012 17:25:35 »
Were YOU caught unawares?

I have occasionally been caught in my underwear.



1000 pairs of underwear were stolen, police were making a brief enquiry.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2618 on: 07/12/2012 17:36:38 »
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.

Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.

"Is this the first time you've been up before me?"

I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?



The Award Scales are tipped in Don_1's favor!

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2619 on: 07/12/2012 22:53:16 »
Thank you, Don_1, EYE now consider myself fully informed.

By the way, have you seen the EYEfel Tower?

Yes, I've seen it, I even went up it, though I was still a tad nervous in case Ifell off it.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2620 on: 07/12/2012 22:54:52 »
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.

Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.

"Is this the first time you've been up before me?"

I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?



The Award Scales are tipped in Don_1's favor!

You seem to be making some very balanced posts, these days.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2621 on: 08/12/2012 14:55:14 »
Are you leveling with me?

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2622 on: 11/12/2012 04:04:21 »
Are you leveling with me?
In a laser fair sort of way he is.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2623 on: 11/12/2012 23:43:57 »
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2624 on: 11/12/2012 23:45:43 »
(Air mail costs more).

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2625 on: 13/12/2012 12:35:03 »
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

WAKE UP!!!!

What's the big idea? Sleeping on the job!

Are you leveling with me?

I scaled many a mountain, ford many a stream and pound many roads to come up with that pun. I knew I had to find one quick or kilover in the attempt. I met Rick on my travels, who helped me find it. "Weight", he said as a beam crossed his face, "I'll come with you." Later, we met Graham on the road, who also came along, for good measure.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline bizerl

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2626 on: 13/12/2012 21:10:44 »
I scaled many a mountain, ford many a stream and pound many roads to come up with that pun. I knew I had to find one quick or kilover in the attempt. I met Rick on my travels, who helped me find it. "Weight", he said as a beam crossed his face, "I'll come with you." Later, we met Graham on the road, who also came along, for good measure.

Oh my, this is a New tone for you, Don. At first I thought it a ficKel vintage of punning but you surPas calibre of any sort with Watt you write!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2627 on: 15/12/2012 02:53:40 »
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

WAKE UP!!!!

What's the big idea? Sleeping on the job!



NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID, DON_1.

YOU STARTLED ODYN!!

Have you no shame?

« Last Edit: 15/12/2012 03:23:31 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2628 on: 15/12/2012 15:23:45 »
Yikes!!! Sorry Odin.

Perhaps I should sing to him to calm him down.

I'll try this old Irish ode in G major and dress up as a Viking.

Ode inny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling.....
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2629 on: 15/12/2012 15:35:16 »
Maybe I should try something by Cat Stevens.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk

Oops, that's put the cat among the pigeons.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2630 on: 15/12/2012 21:30:15 »
Yikes!!! Sorry Odin.

Perhaps I should sing to him to calm him down.

I'll try this old Irish ode in G major and dress up as a Viking.

Ode inny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling.....

VERY IMPRESSIVE MUSICAL POST! Signatures and all!


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2631 on: 15/12/2012 21:32:31 »
Maybe I should try something by Cat Stevens.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk

Oops, that's put the cat among the pigeons.

"I love my...........dog"???????

Odyn will NOT be thrilled, I guarantee that!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2632 on: 16/12/2012 22:10:17 »
Can YOU guess what upcoming day of observance is:
*****December 25, 2012*****?
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•


Wrong!

It is...
•
•
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*****A'Phabet Day or No "L" Day*****



.....And when the last day of March is over, I will have yet more (har har) foolishness...er, I mean EVEN BETTER APRIL CLEVERNESS TO FOOL OFFER YOU!

« Last Edit: 17/12/2012 01:21:03 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2633 on: 18/12/2012 15:23:01 »
Tried to trick me eh! I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day, its just the first no 'L'.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2634 on: 18/12/2012 15:36:28 »
Imagine the confusion if there were no 'L's for the entire day!!!

The 'Messiah' by Georg Friedrich Hδnde woud be in bother when it comes to the 'Haeujah' chorus.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2635 on: 19/12/2012 01:15:55 »
I disagree, Don_1. I see it as a day when osses like me gain dignity.

With no atitude or ongitude tuit.

How can anyone hate an oser?

An ikely scenario! Patton, too!
« Last Edit: 19/12/2012 01:34:10 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2636 on: 19/12/2012 01:26:02 »
Tried to trick me eh! I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day, its just the first no 'L'.


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2637 on: 19/12/2012 04:38:13 »

I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day...


Don't forget how embarrassed you were last year - same no-L day behavior - when you finally found out there was a video of that entire day. (Sorry to hear it went viral, CNN, BBC, etc.!)

I will still vote for you as King of UK, with annual tithing you lovingly offered me (under your most empathetic, and gentle, suggestion of "happy waterboarding, demo!").

But money trumps all: you will have your final blackmail payment on December 24, 2012. I understand that Sonny "Santa" Goombah ('The Enforcer') will warmly collect funds ("or ese"... if it falls on No "L" Day).
« Last Edit: 20/12/2012 18:29:08 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2638 on: 20/12/2012 03:40:50 »
Demo, aren't you forgetting that the word (the first no-L, the angels did say) is supposed to end on the 21st?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2639 on: 20/12/2012 17:55:13 »
Uh oh, Donnah!



I bet I get a demotion over this [:)]
« Last Edit: 20/12/2012 17:56:52 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2640 on: 20/12/2012 18:18:18 »
Last year, I ate so much over the holidays that I decided to quit cold turkey.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2641 on: 20/12/2012 21:03:17 »
When someone suggested I quit cold turkey, I told them to get stuffed.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline bizerl

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2642 on: 20/12/2012 21:22:41 »
I tried to quit cold turkey, but I was too chicken.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2643 on: 20/12/2012 23:30:34 »
The chicken went to the middle of the road.

She was going to lay it on the line.

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Offline bizerl

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2644 on: 21/12/2012 00:54:46 »
I knew a chicken that liked sitting on people's shoulders. The UN took it to peace talks to demonstrate to warring nations how to lay down their arms.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2645 on: 21/12/2012 16:03:46 »
With our Granddaughter being the focus of attention for Xmas, it was decided that we would only buy each other one Xmas present. I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2646 on: 21/12/2012 16:05:05 »
I fancy a goose for Xmas this year, but looks like I'll have to make do with the wife as usual.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2647 on: 21/12/2012 16:17:37 »
It seems our daughter is up the duff again. So I shall tell our son-in-law he is to have parsnips.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2648 on: 23/12/2012 00:07:22 »

I fancy a goose for Xmas this year, but looks like I'll have to make do with the wife as usual.


Don_1 was entering an antique shop: “Good evening. Do you mind if I take a gander around the shop?” to which the shopkeeper replies, “No, as long as it’s housetrained.”

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2649 on: 23/12/2012 01:49:34 »

I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.


One of those new shoes isn't right.