Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #250 on: 20/07/2010 18:17:20 »


You know the old saw of the blonde who was pregnant....... - She asked the doc "Is it mine?"


 [;D] [;D] [;D]

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #251 on: 20/07/2010 18:37:10 »

Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?


Yes. It covers auto-voyeurism.


I am NOT touching that remark - uh-uh!


TOUCHING?? There goes my stomach again......

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #252 on: 20/07/2010 19:06:49 »
Reminds me of the song as well.

Auto-voyeurism - is that what happens when you ride around " certain areas" looking for something, but not actually having the nerve to " complete" the transaction?

Or did I get it Auto about face again?


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #253 on: 20/07/2010 21:05:20 »

Eggsactly, Sean! That's why JimBob carries Kelly's Blue Book with him wherever he goes.

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #254 on: 22/07/2010 03:14:06 »
No, not really auto voyeurism for me. I should live in Trucke, California having a Toyota T-100
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #255 on: 22/07/2010 07:57:29 »

           

Wow, Sean, think of the number of multiple "transactions" in THIS baby!!

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #256 on: 22/07/2010 19:36:27 »
I like it over rough terrain.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #257 on: 22/07/2010 19:52:04 »
Leave it to Demo to comment on something like traction which is just so difficult if just one tire is BALD.

And as for MILf, you can have a ride any time.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #258 on: 22/07/2010 23:02:56 »
I never tire of the bald.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #259 on: 23/07/2010 00:16:31 »
Don't you think people should retire before they go bald?
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #260 on: 23/07/2010 03:03:07 »


I like it over rough terrain.


 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]


I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                       
« Last Edit: 23/07/2010 06:05:40 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #261 on: 23/07/2010 05:49:27 »

Don't you think people should retire before they go bald?


But Geezer, then they'll be re-treads...

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #262 on: 23/07/2010 05:50:55 »


And as for MILf...


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #263 on: 23/07/2010 18:09:21 »
I know, I was shocked too. I can't remember who started calling me MIL(f) in the first place. Was it Beaver or was it you Jim?
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #264 on: 23/07/2010 18:34:24 »
I was confused, was it because of seeing rather too much beaver, or that jim was there bobbing for road apples....

Back to the auto fixation, I find that it is bad to use it when there is no lubricant inside the engine, it only lasts for a short while before stopping. Also you have to use the right kind, synthetic is great, and lowers friction as well, while natural is good for most uses, and is generally very good. Just remember that some are not compatiable with certain rubber seals, and can cause them to fail, most embarassing to leak in the wrong places, it leaves a permanent reminder sometimes.

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #265 on: 23/07/2010 20:26:55 »
I love a good leek!
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #266 on: 24/07/2010 01:33:45 »

 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]

(no, JB, it's not my stomach. I like leek : - )

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #267 on: 24/07/2010 03:47:48 »

I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                       
[/quote]

Saved - I THINK NOT!

Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #268 on: 24/07/2010 03:52:05 »
I know, I was shocked too. I can't remember who started calling me MIL(f) in the first place. Was it Beaver or was it you Jim?

Sean - The Beaver is the late good Dr. Beaver, a member of the forum who has pissed us alll off by up and going on to better things -

He would have LOVED your remarks about beaver.


I love a good leek!

Are your female troubles back, my dear? - Leaking again?

The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #269 on: 24/07/2010 06:18:05 »


I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                       


Saved - I THINK NOT!

Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.


Look again, JimBob. See how "full" is the red pate above?

Case closed.

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #270 on: 24/07/2010 11:13:59 »
When I was young we had a hen called Lamebrain. Dog friendly too, a skipperkie is no match for a hen. Her only downfall was that she only laid eggs in flowerpots, and was a surprisingly good cat burglar, able to find her way into the house though any window. That was her downfall, when one day she left a calling card all over mother's dresser and chair.


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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #271 on: 24/07/2010 16:52:43 »


I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                       


Saved - I THINK NOT!

Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.


Look again, JimBob. See how "full" is the red pate above?

Case closed.


HA!


There is NO hair on a chicken. What ARE you smoking?

VERDICT: BALD & TIRED (or is it tyred?)

WARNING,  WARNING,  WARNING! 
Old guy on wheels! Watch out for the electric scooter!
 
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #272 on: 24/07/2010 19:09:05 »

                 



WARNING,  WARNING,  WARNING! 
Old guy on wheels! Watch out for the electric scooter!
 

To all unsuspecting females: Let's thank JimBob for being so considerate to issue advance warnings about himself!

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Offline Variola

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #273 on: 24/07/2010 19:45:49 »
Quote
To all unsuspecting females: Let's thank JimBob for being so considerate to issue advance warnings about himself! 

But what about the women who already suspect him? I am not ruddy well thanking him for anything!  [;)]

Interpoll issused the warmings about him before he did anyway...  [;D]
  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #274 on: 24/07/2010 19:54:49 »

Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind is now so much safer!

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #275 on: 24/07/2010 20:09:04 »
Oximoron alert! Woman!!!!Kind!!!! we never are!
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Variola

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #276 on: 24/07/2010 20:19:09 »

Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind is now so much safer!

Yeah but they have a lot of sheep in Texas.... I think Jimbob is grumpy because he has a wool allergy...
  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #277 on: 24/07/2010 20:27:10 »
My Mum knitted me a wool allergy once
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #278 on: 24/07/2010 20:39:26 »

Oxymoron alert! Woman!!!!Kind!!!! we never are!


LOL! I second that emotion!

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Offline Variola

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #279 on: 24/07/2010 20:41:41 »
Quote
My Mum knitted me a wool allergy once   

 [;D]Did it have 2 neck holes and 3 arms??
  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #280 on: 24/07/2010 20:42:55 »
I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #281 on: 24/07/2010 20:43:44 »


Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind Femality is now so much safer!


Thanks, Make it Lady!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #282 on: 24/07/2010 20:44:45 »

I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!


But first you must strip.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #283 on: 24/07/2010 20:47:53 »
JimBob is very keen on wooly alegories. Consequently, he's sometimes quite overcome with emulsion.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #284 on: 24/07/2010 20:49:47 »
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #285 on: 24/07/2010 20:50:11 »

Geezer to the rescue! [:)]

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #286 on: 24/07/2010 20:50:59 »


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #287 on: 24/07/2010 20:51:41 »
Has he got a blow torch too?
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #288 on: 24/07/2010 20:52:36 »


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]
All three of them have blow torches
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Variola

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #289 on: 24/07/2010 20:54:01 »


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]
All three of them have blow torches

They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #290 on: 24/07/2010 20:54:31 »


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:)]  [:)]  [:)]

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #291 on: 24/07/2010 20:57:41 »


They would all blow their own torch if they could reach


  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]


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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #292 on: 24/07/2010 21:00:55 »


They would all blow their own torch if they could reach


  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]


All 20 are very flexible
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #293 on: 24/07/2010 21:03:14 »

They would all blow their own torch if they could reach

Ah! That clears up something. I always wondered what was meant by, "She's holding a torch for him."

I always thought it was because she was an usherette in a cinema.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #294 on: 24/07/2010 21:05:27 »
I got a chance to ush 'er ette once and very nice it was too.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #295 on: 24/07/2010 21:13:50 »
I got a chance to ush 'er ette once and very nice it was too.

There's really no answer to that  [:)]
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #296 on: 24/07/2010 21:20:23 »

Not a printable one. [:)]

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #297 on: 24/07/2010 21:24:26 »
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute", but I have to say my;

"I always thought it was because she was an usherette in a cinema" would at least have received an Honorable Mention from Kenneth Horne.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Variola

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #298 on: 24/07/2010 21:37:45 »
Quote
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute", but I have to say my;
   


Only because you can't reach.
  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #299 on: 24/07/2010 21:42:00 »
I have been known to play a tune on the pink oboe
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.