Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2850 on: 22/04/2013 00:54:48 »
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.


... and it could be the butt of corny jokes

The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2851 on: 22/04/2013 11:37:17 »
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.


... and it could be the butt of corny jokes



I am quite amaized that among the maze of puns here, you managed to find this niblet.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2852 on: 22/04/2013 11:48:21 »
See if you can find your way around this maze:



Best wear good walking boots, or you might end up with a corn or blister.

That was a rather callous thing to say.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2853 on: 23/04/2013 02:29:10 »

Oh how I just love Boobies........


Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic)


Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>
« Last Edit: 23/04/2013 02:55:03 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2854 on: 23/04/2013 02:43:09 »
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.


... and it could be the butt of corny jokes



Corny jokes? I once heard a corny joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2855 on: 23/04/2013 12:24:00 »

Oh how I just love Boobies........


Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic)


Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>


Never mind a booby, I smell a rat!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2856 on: 23/04/2013 12:31:01 »
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2857 on: 23/04/2013 13:07:18 »
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2858 on: 23/04/2013 13:29:43 »
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.

Corn dogs grow everywhere. Not just feet.



« Last Edit: 23/04/2013 13:32:35 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2859 on: 23/04/2013 14:00:39 »
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

Damnation! You obviously saw that coming.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2860 on: 23/04/2013 14:19:35 »
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.

Corn dogs grow everywhere. Not just feet.







I was only going to say wh

OH! Come on, let me at least say wou
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2861 on: 23/04/2013 14:22:16 »
Really! A comment there was irisistable. Socket to me!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2862 on: 23/04/2013 14:33:10 »
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

I can't help wondering if your doing OK here, or bit off more than you can chew.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2863 on: 23/04/2013 14:37:23 »
Anna (yep, she's back) was taught her scales by a Scottish voice coach. She was fine with doh, ra, me etc but had some trouble when it came to 'la'.

After just a few days McTavish said "Och you la just fine the noo".
« Last Edit: 23/04/2013 14:38:58 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2864 on: 23/04/2013 14:41:32 »
This is a good sight for punning. Vis you all join in.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2865 on: 23/04/2013 14:44:24 »
Cauliflower is good for soothing tired eyes. Just boil a floret in a cup of milk and bathe.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2866 on: 23/04/2013 14:46:58 »
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2867 on: 23/04/2013 14:48:41 »
Getting back to Anna, her voice coach declared "I'll mak you lar if its the last thing I do.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2868 on: 23/04/2013 14:50:42 »
YES!!! I'm nearly there, I'm at the brow of the hill.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2869 on: 23/04/2013 14:56:41 »
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?

Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?

If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?

I do so love to amas caravans.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2870 on: 23/04/2013 15:01:57 »
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.

Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.

Just have to put a lid on it.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2871 on: 24/04/2013 03:58:39 »
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?

Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?

If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?

I do so love to amas caravans.

P O S T S by Don_1!!!!
« Last Edit: 26/04/2013 04:19:45 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2872 on: 24/04/2013 04:06:32 »
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.

Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.

Just have to put a lid on it.



Doesn't Don_1 seem qualified/expert enough to answer "I lid" questions to anyone concerned? I vote yes.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2873 on: 24/04/2013 04:15:43 »
Getting back to Anna, her voice coach declared "I'll mak you lar if its the last thing I do.

How do we know if her voice coach (well known for his lusty inclinations) has degeneration on his mind?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2874 on: 24/04/2013 08:28:37 »
Demo, I really must warn you not to make a spectacle of yourself making accusations about McTavish. The last person to do so brought such shame upon the family matriarch that McTavish took him to court for bringing a stygma t' iz mother.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2875 on: 24/04/2013 16:02:44 »
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

Damnation! You obviously saw that coming.
Really! A comment there was irisistable. Socket to me!
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

I can't help wondering if your doing OK here, or bit off more than you can chew.
Anna (yep, she's back) was taught her scales by a Scottish voice coach. She was fine with doh, ra, me etc but had some trouble when it came to 'la'.

After just a few days McTavish said "Och you la just fine the noo".
This is a good sight for punning. Vis you all join in.
Cauliflower is good for soothing tired eyes. Just boil a floret in a cup of milk and bathe.
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
YES!!! I'm nearly there, I'm at the brow of the hill.
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?

Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?

If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?

I do so love to amas caravans.
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.

Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.

Just have to put a lid on it.
Demo, I really must warn you not to make a spectacle of yourself making accusations about McTavish. The last person to do so brought such shame upon the family matriarch that McTavish took him to court for bringing a stygma t' iz mother.


Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping,  eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!

Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/


« Last Edit: 25/04/2013 04:39:01 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2876 on: 25/04/2013 00:51:30 »

Oh how I just love Boobies........


Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic)


Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>


Never mind a booby, I smell a rat!

« Last Edit: 25/04/2013 04:55:23 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2877 on: 25/04/2013 11:40:34 »

Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping,  eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!

Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/


Aye aye Capt. Demo, Eye had to laugh at this.

Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire. Maybe your ancestors were from Paris and had something to do with the eyefel tower.

I hope you are not offended by what I have suggested here, I should hate this post to be a flop, typical of some of my lesser posts.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2878 on: 25/04/2013 11:43:21 »
LOOK UP THERE!

A raptor hunting for food.

It must be a hawk, eye saw it first.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2879 on: 25/04/2013 11:47:09 »
I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gough, Rubens, Constable......

I said I would have to opt for Titian.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2880 on: 25/04/2013 11:50:13 »
I came across a man with sponge and custard in one eye and fruit and jelly in the other, he said he was treyeful blind.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2881 on: 25/04/2013 11:53:35 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2882 on: 25/04/2013 11:57:22 »
I went into my local phone shop for a new flashy mobile.

"Do you have any stereo phones?" I asked

"No" Came the reply

Oh well, I suppose I shal just have to make a mono call then.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2883 on: 25/04/2013 11:59:53 »
There are so many channels on the TV these days, but there is a great deal of tele scope for improvement.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2884 on: 25/04/2013 12:10:48 »
After removing some wallpaper for redecorating, the wife said "That wall will need re-plastering." My reply was, "Why? eye patch it up and it will be OK".
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2885 on: 25/04/2013 12:41:09 »
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
[attachment=17698]
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2886 on: 25/04/2013 12:47:13 »
I was to have a secret liason with my mistress, but had slipped and twisted my ankle.

There was only one thing for it, I would have hop to me tryst.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2887 on: 25/04/2013 12:57:03 »
Our local baker is noted for his subleyeme stolens.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2888 on: 25/04/2013 13:03:54 »
My neighbour found a half chewed bird in his garden, "How do I get the truth out of my cats as to which one is the culprit?" he asked. I came up with a torturous solution, "Cat, a rack would be the solution".
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2889 on: 25/04/2013 13:08:51 »
"I have a sure-fire way of knowing if an operation has been successful," said the surgeon, "after the op tickle the foot".
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2890 on: 26/04/2013 01:24:56 »
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
[attachment=17698]

« Last Edit: 26/04/2013 03:20:46 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2891 on: 26/04/2013 03:18:27 »
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2892 on: 26/04/2013 04:24:29 »

Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire.
Eye am not, and no, theye didn't.
« Last Edit: 26/04/2013 04:26:40 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2893 on: 26/04/2013 08:08:00 »
My neighbour asked "Was that you eye sore watering the garden in the rain yesterday?" My response was, "Eye, watering? No you must be mistaken."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2894 on: 26/04/2013 08:11:08 »
When she was young, our daughter had a Cabbage Patch doll and a Tiny Tears doll, but it was Barbie that was her eyedol.
« Last Edit: 26/04/2013 08:21:13 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2895 on: 26/04/2013 08:15:04 »
Look, compacted snow on the road!
Eye see
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2896 on: 26/04/2013 08:18:04 »
I felt very nervous when I went for my first ever job interveiw. The boss eyed me up and down.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2897 on: 26/04/2013 08:30:36 »
We were having a spot of trouble with our TV reception, so the wife watched the picture as I adjusted the aerial.

"No, that's no good........ that's even worse......... try it the other way....... Oh yes, now that's clera....... just a fraction more that way......... Cor oid leave it at that, if I were you."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2898 on: 26/04/2013 08:36:01 »
British Prime Minister, David Lloyd George, used to hate it when people greeted him with the words 'Hiya Lloyd.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2899 on: 26/04/2013 08:52:02 »
An alien looking around a clothing shop was puzzled by the garments.
"W-h-a-t  i-s  th-i-s?" he asked, the assistant said, "Its a shirt ET." "A-n-d  w-h-a-t  a-b-o-u-t  th-i-s?" "Its a sock ET."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.