Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2950 on: 04/05/2013 15:43:58 »


You talk to my metatarsals like that again......
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2951 on: 04/05/2013 15:47:15 »
Its about time we had a tad more glamour around here.

That Demo is to blame, he got me started on this, I'm just trying to keep a breast of the time, like this young lady:-

[attachment=17722]
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2952 on: 04/05/2013 16:01:35 »
No feeble imitations of the above image please. We don't want to be fobbed off with second hand pictures, so I'll be watching you. Offenders will set alarm bells ringing and be awristed and face a jail sentence from which there will be no escapement.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2953 on: 04/05/2013 19:36:47 »
........my most obvious deeply pious nature -- 

You're fooling nobody Demo, 'tis I who doth have the most deep pious nature.


Deep pie - game filled.



« Last Edit: 05/05/2013 10:03:59 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2954 on: 04/05/2013 21:04:37 »
Its about time we had a tad more glamour around here.

[attachment=17722]

Buxom nurse with fob watch.jpg (26.27 kB, 453x541)

No Bugs on nurse image detected. Please proceed with "more glands glamor", Don_1!

« Last Edit: 05/05/2013 09:59:25 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2955 on: 04/05/2013 21:45:59 »


You talk to my metatarsals like that again......

Is this better?

"Hi..."
« Last Edit: 05/05/2013 09:55:51 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2956 on: 04/05/2013 21:57:53 »
But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...

« Last Edit: 05/05/2013 10:13:12 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2957 on: 05/05/2013 00:31:04 »

McTavish has taken the day off of his training Anne to 'La' properly when practicing her scales, so I'm standing in for him.


About time. We're getting impatient with the quality of Anne's 'la's'.

At least that was the case the la'st time we heard her sing Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-??-Ti-Do!

« Last Edit: 11/05/2013 12:59:08 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2958 on: 06/05/2013 20:01:04 »
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:


« Last Edit: 06/05/2013 20:07:44 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2959 on: 07/05/2013 02:43:46 »
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )
« Last Edit: 07/05/2013 02:49:25 by JimBob »
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2960 on: 07/05/2013 03:01:23 »
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?

« Last Edit: 07/05/2013 03:14:17 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2961 on: 07/05/2013 10:01:37 »
But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...



Ah yes, a hideous condition of the foot caused by excessive driving called car rot.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2962 on: 07/05/2013 10:07:03 »
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Demo is like some other people when he feels unwell, doesn't want to see or speak to anyone.

No matter whether it is a respiratory, gastric or optical ill, u shun everybody.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2963 on: 07/05/2013 10:14:25 »
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?



Well, if that's Stigmata, this must be........


STIGVATER.

Tch, tch, tch, these catholics, into crossdressing too!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2964 on: 07/05/2013 10:22:53 »
'Just call me angle* of the morning'.

*No, that wasn't a misspelling.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2965 on: 07/05/2013 10:29:19 »
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while. Sometimes I will stig 'mata sauce on the plate to dip my chips into.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2966 on: 07/05/2013 10:40:37 »
Those of you who are familiar with the BBC's motoring magazine 'Top Gear', will know that racing and stunt car driver Ben Collins, blew his cover after his mother was seen giving him his packed lunch while on set for a take on the performance of a new sports car. It was obvious when someone announced 'the stig's mata.

If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2967 on: 07/05/2013 10:49:19 »
I used to have 105mm f2.8 macro Stigmata.



But I now have a 105mm f2.8 micro Nikkor.


Though it's a much better lens, its no good for this pun.
« Last Edit: 07/05/2013 10:51:03 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2968 on: 07/05/2013 12:05:42 »
But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...



Ah yes, a hideous condition of the foot caused by excessive driving called car rot.

...a condition of the foot sadly exacerbated by an often fatal sudden acceleryation of the car rot.
« Last Edit: 07/05/2013 12:08:21 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2969 on: 07/05/2013 12:10:21 »
I used to have 105mm f2.8 macro Stigmata.



But I now have a 105mm f2.8 micro Nikkor.


Though it's a much better lens, its no good for this pun.

But it keeps the eye on the ball lens.
« Last Edit: 07/05/2013 12:12:55 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2970 on: 07/05/2013 14:24:43 »

No matter whether it is a respiratory, gastric or optical ill, u shun everybody.

At a job interview, I decided to lie and say I had experience as an illusionist and as a window cleaner.

They saw right through me.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2971 on: 09/05/2013 20:15:30 »
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while.


I once had fish & chips every day for a year.

My stomach took a battering.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2972 on: 09/05/2013 20:19:58 »
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?



Well, if that's Stigmata, this must be........


STIGVATER.

Tch, tch, tch, these catholics, into crossdressing too!

Looks more like a Drama Queen to me!

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2973 on: 10/05/2013 00:19:23 »
Dame It Captin, I'm givvin herr all shes got - scotty
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2974 on: 10/05/2013 07:27:45 »
Dame It Captin, I'm givvin herr all shes got - scotty

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2975 on: 10/05/2013 07:33:39 »
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while.

I once had fish & chips every day for a year.

My stomach took a battering.


A fisherman hated but he didn't tell a sole.

« Last Edit: 11/05/2013 01:26:30 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2976 on: 10/05/2013 08:08:13 »
I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gogh, Rubens, Constable......

I said I would have to opt for Titian.

The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2977 on: 10/05/2013 19:35:52 »
ALL HE SAID WAS - AYE MATE
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2978 on: 10/05/2013 20:57:10 »
Yes, but how can AYE make sure????

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2979 on: 11/05/2013 00:42:11 »

A fisherman hated but he didn't tell a sole.


That's the thing about fishermen, they know their plaice.

I gave a loan shark a rather unwell cephalopod today. "What's this?" he enquired, I said "Its that six quid I owe you".

« Last Edit: 11/05/2013 01:25:08 by demografx »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2980 on: 11/05/2013 12:13:36 »


THAT  loan shark? Mr. I. C. Usury! I worked with him too!
« Last Edit: 11/05/2013 23:47:17 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2981 on: 11/05/2013 12:51:25 »


Aye-aye

Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2982 on: 11/05/2013 19:47:19 »
 Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.

Aye, scotty, so 'tis -  the little LEMURIAN
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2983 on: 11/05/2013 22:25:09 »
Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.

Aye, scotty, so 'tis -  the little LEMURIAN


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2984 on: 12/05/2013 00:32:57 »
That land 'tis a strange place.

"You will find there a strange species of Lemur", Ian said.
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 00:36:45 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2985 on: 12/05/2013 00:41:32 »


Aye-aye

Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!

Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2986 on: 12/05/2013 01:14:57 »

[The Aye-Aye] looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!

Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.

Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 01:18:57 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2987 on: 12/05/2013 01:30:19 »

........ all in sects.


Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.

When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2988 on: 12/05/2013 01:56:52 »
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2989 on: 12/05/2013 11:00:00 »

........ all in sects.


Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.

When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2990 on: 12/05/2013 11:30:09 »
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????

First, he needs an authorized statement shown on his truck:


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2991 on: 12/05/2013 16:42:39 »
Today, May 12, 2013, is:
Mother's Day!

« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 17:15:36 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2992 on: 12/05/2013 17:13:31 »
He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 17:24:57 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2993 on: 12/05/2013 18:56:34 »
LAST ONE ABOVE ---

HUH - WHAT ?????????
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2994 on: 12/05/2013 18:57:51 »
PS 

use of this causes infertility    AND THUS NO MOTHERS FOR THIS PARTICULAR SUNDAY IN THE US: MOTHER'S DAY   Happy day, Muthas
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 19:02:43 by JimBob »
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2995 on: 12/05/2013 23:08:25 »

He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.

LAST ONE ABOVE ---

HUH - WHAT ?????????

Mother puns for Mother's Day.


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Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2996 on: 13/05/2013 03:22:25 »
homemade pickle wanna-be's if set at room temperature develop a white substance similar in most respects to smegma. The white pickle jar substance is called mother if it is in the pickle jar. Just don't eat it. ==

The Darts side board: Pickels hard boiled eggs, beer or stout, salted nuts..

All this made possible by the action of the mother on the pickles.......

thanks MOM MUTHAH
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2997 on: 13/05/2013 03:29:05 »
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2998 on: 13/05/2013 07:36:12 »
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.

I wanted a career with a big hamburger chain but I got into a pickle when I couldn't cut the mustard.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2999 on: 13/05/2013 10:09:26 »
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????

I was taken hook, line & sinker by some tricksters. They sold me the freehold on the flats.
It was only later that I discovered it was a con, dominian over the properties was already held by the tenants.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.