Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3200 on: 05/08/2013 11:39:20 »
Its nowt to do with me.

Nosetradamus predicted sinus problems would lead to tsunamis.

Breaker 19: He predicted a wave of catastrophies.
« Last Edit: 05/08/2013 11:41:08 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3201 on: 07/08/2013 19:04:50 »

Nosetradamus predicted sinus problems would lead to tsunamis.


Breaker 19: He predicted a wave of catastrophes.


Nah. I think all of his waves were just swell.


« Last Edit: 07/08/2013 19:13:55 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3202 on: 16/08/2013 13:31:23 »
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

You should have bri now.
« Last Edit: 16/08/2013 13:34:11 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3203 on: 16/08/2013 13:37:24 »
So, de, um, claw I'd found belonged to a Sea Eagle.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3204 on: 16/08/2013 13:40:24 »
Reminds me of that song by Rod Stewart, the one that goes:

I am saline,
I am saline,
Like a bird,
'Cross the sea.


Yes, its a bit of a sloppy song, but I like it, I'm just that salt of guy.
« Last Edit: 16/08/2013 13:42:01 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3205 on: 16/08/2013 13:56:02 »
The Devil came unto me and said, "Would you like to see heaven or would you like to see my domain?"
I replied, "I wouldn't mind seeing heaven," but I said "Nah, see hell!* You must be joking."


*NaCl
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3206 on: 16/08/2013 14:06:58 »
The experiment, which was extremely dangerous, involved combining 9 parts potassium with 1 part phosphorus.

The result was K9P.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Bill S

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3207 on: 19/08/2013 20:05:06 »
This new clear water is good for fishin'.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3208 on: 20/08/2013 02:20:59 »
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

You should have bri now.

I bet Don_1's quote above gets wave reviews.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3209 on: 20/08/2013 02:28:33 »
The experiment, which was extremely dangerous, involved combining 9 parts potassium with 1 part phosphorus.

The result was K9P.

« Last Edit: 20/08/2013 17:44:38 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3210 on: 20/08/2013 17:34:43 »
The Devil came unto me and said, "Would you like to see heaven or would you like to see my domain?"
I replied, "I wouldn't mind seeing heaven," but I said "Nah, see hell!* You must be joking."


*NaCl




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3211 on: 20/08/2013 23:31:25 »
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

More like a surfeit, I think.

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Offline Don_1

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If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3213 on: 21/08/2013 09:07:39 »
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

More like a surfeit , I think.



Sir Feet at your service, my Lord Demo.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3214 on: 21/08/2013 15:24:03 »




DON_1 WINS THE FOLLOWING "FUNNIEST SHARK GRAPHIC" AWARD!!!![;D]

This should look great placed by your bathtub! (Rubber ducky not included).

« Last Edit: 22/08/2013 21:49:44 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3215 on: 21/08/2013 16:58:19 »
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

More like a surfeit , I think.



Sir Feet at your service, my Lord Demo.

Why, thank you kindly, Sir Feet, for your abundance of services on my behalf!
Lord Demo

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3216 on: 22/08/2013 07:33:58 »

Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?


Don't give up.

We must go deeper, beyond the surface of these puns!

Otherwise, water we here for?



« Last Edit: 22/08/2013 07:41:14 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3217 on: 23/08/2013 08:51:54 »
Ach..............ACHOOOOooooooo

........ H2O
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3218 on: 23/08/2013 08:54:07 »

Why, thank you kindly, Sir Feet, for your abundance of services on my behalf!
Lord Demo

Isn't that what a baker does at a party? A bun dance.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3219 on: 23/08/2013 09:00:59 »
If there are a bakers dozen less 3, then it would be a ten dance.

When they all leave the dance floor, it would be a void ance

Synchronised swimmers never use the shallow end of a pool, they have a dep end ance on the other end.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3220 on: 23/08/2013 09:04:12 »
A group of musicians bopping at a party were astonished when the band's guitarist hit a bum note. This caused some dis cord ance.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3221 on: 23/08/2013 09:11:48 »
Somewhat the worse for the drink, I was on the waltzing around the floor singing (after a fashion) 'Show me the way to go home.' I was looking for some guid ance.

They threw me out, saying 'Good rid dance. But I did a quickstep back up the ramp and into the hall. They wont forget my ascend ance in a hurry.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3222 on: 23/08/2013 09:14:24 »
I'm off to the auction room now, where I shall do a bid ance.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3223 on: 23/08/2013 09:18:47 »
I do tend to walk with a skip in my step, but the Mrs tells me to stop it and walk properly. Must I suffer such im ped ance?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Bill S

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3224 on: 23/08/2013 19:49:57 »
Quote from: Don_1
  H2O

= HIJKLMNO

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3225 on: 23/08/2013 22:41:08 »

When they all leave the dance floor, it would be a void ance


I always avoid ants when I can. They tend to run off with my treats!


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3226 on: 23/08/2013 22:46:46 »

If there are a bakers dozen less 3, then it would be a ten dance.


Teachers who take class a ten dance are absent-minded.

They focus on non-a ten dance.

« Last Edit: 23/08/2013 23:58:40 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3227 on: 23/08/2013 22:53:24 »

Synchronised swimmers never use the shallow end of a pool, they have a dep end ance on the other end.


These synchronized swimmers have a dependence on this product:



« Last Edit: 24/08/2013 01:31:53 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3228 on: 23/08/2013 22:59:05 »
A group of musicians bopping at a party were astonished when the band's guitarist hit a bum note. This caused some dis cord ance.

When poker players have to fold they feel a bit discarded.

Oh! Whoops! I goofed! You said dis cOrd...


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3229 on: 23/08/2013 23:22:21 »
Otherwise, water we here for?

Ach..............ACHOOOOooooooo

........ H2O


H2Overwhelming Arrogance:


« Last Edit: 23/08/2013 23:39:55 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3230 on: 23/08/2013 23:48:11 »
I do tend to walk with a skip in my step, but the Mrs tells me to stop it and walk properly. Must I suffer such im ped ance?

Not im pud ence?

« Last Edit: 23/08/2013 23:50:15 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3231 on: 23/08/2013 23:54:22 »
With all our focus on dance-ing...


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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3232 on: 24/08/2013 00:01:47 »
Who wears a hat for the entire duration of a cricket match?

The umpire on which the sun never sets.
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3233 on: 24/08/2013 00:04:42 »
I went to the zoo, but the only animal on display was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3234 on: 24/08/2013 00:06:36 »
0
BSc
MA
PhD

3 degrees below zero.
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3235 on: 24/08/2013 00:08:28 »
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B
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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3236 on: 24/08/2013 01:26:35 »
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B

Stories about a fireman ignite my interest.

« Last Edit: 24/08/2013 01:29:09 by demografx »

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Offline RD

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3237 on: 24/08/2013 04:46:43 »
I went to the zoo, but the only animal on display was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-23714896

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3238 on: 24/08/2013 06:57:55 »
Ok, it was a Tibetan mastiff in a shitzu. But the pun is lost in translation.
« Last Edit: 24/08/2013 07:01:40 by alancalverd »
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Offline Bill S

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3239 on: 24/08/2013 14:42:56 »
Doggone!  Lion gone!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3240 on: 24/08/2013 18:47:20 »
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B

Funny! [;D]


« Last Edit: 24/08/2013 22:17:10 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3241 on: 24/08/2013 22:13:07 »
Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:

http://www.usapple.org/nam





Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!

« Last Edit: 25/08/2013 06:31:26 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3242 on: 25/08/2013 00:22:10 »
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B

Funny! [;D]


In fact, alancalverd wins a "Fireman Of The Year" Award!
                                               


« Last Edit: 25/08/2013 00:30:32 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3243 on: 25/08/2013 02:23:42 »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3244 on: 28/08/2013 20:10:54 »
The zookeepers weren't really lion.  It was their feline that the dog was a copy cat.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3245 on: 29/08/2013 20:24:32 »
           [;D]

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Offline Bill S

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3246 on: 31/08/2013 17:36:53 »
They were re-lion on people not cat-ching on.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3247 on: 02/09/2013 01:22:22 »
They were re-lion on people not cat-ching on.

Isn't that the sound those old cash registers made?





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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3248 on: 02/09/2013 03:01:05 »
The zookeepers weren't really lion.  It was their feline that the dog was a copy cat.

Zookeepers are meticulous; they always spot clean their leopards.

« Last Edit: 02/09/2013 03:11:29 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3249 on: 03/09/2013 22:49:02 »