Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3250 on: 04/09/2013 00:46:09 »
Cat-cha!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3251 on: 04/09/2013 20:59:57 »
Gesundheit!

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3252 on: 07/09/2013 01:14:03 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3253 on: 11/09/2013 05:23:24 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?

Your servant.

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3254 on: 11/09/2013 10:32:25 »
Very ob servant.
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3255 on: 12/09/2013 12:36:07 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.

Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.


« Last Edit: 13/09/2013 01:28:02 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3256 on: 14/09/2013 17:01:05 »
Gesundheit!

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


OOOoooooOOOOOooooo, stranger than fiction...... I just sneezed, twice
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3257 on: 14/09/2013 17:08:33 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3258 on: 14/09/2013 17:16:01 »

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3259 on: 14/09/2013 17:25:18 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.

Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.




Most of our civil servants are quite uncivil and are known as government grunts.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3260 on: 14/09/2013 17:31:44 »

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course

Alas your observation might not be understood by some of our younger readers. For their benefit, 'gesunder' was the term used for a night time pot for the relief of certain natural motions by those who had outside toilets. It was so called because it 'goes under' the bed. Of course Twirlies would know all about it.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3261 on: 14/09/2013 17:35:12 »
It goes without saying that one had to be careful when making use of the gesunder, not to make too much noise and to be a sure-shot, otherwise one might be accused of making a commodtion.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3262 on: 14/09/2013 17:36:45 »
Cat-cha!

Would that be tea made from pus.........

Perhaps I should re-phrase that.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3263 on: 15/09/2013 04:58:06 »
Gesundheit!

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course

Alas your observation might not be understood by some of our younger readers. For their benefit, 'gesunder' was the term used for a night time pot for the relief of certain natural motions by those who had outside toilets. It was so called because it 'goes under' the bed. Of course Twirlies would know all about it.
It goes without saying that one had to be careful when making use of the gesunder, not to make too much noise and to be a sure-shot, otherwise one might be accused of making a commodtion.



Please note that this video game is a Demo version.

« Last Edit: 15/09/2013 19:09:24 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3264 on: 15/09/2013 05:05:32 »
Cat-cha!

Would that be tea made from pus.........

Perhaps I should re-phrase that.

We're all certain that you're referring to kittens



« Last Edit: 15/09/2013 05:39:44 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3265 on: 15/09/2013 05:17:19 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.

Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.


Most of our civil servants are quite uncivil and are known as government grunts.

If the Japanese army took over the government it would be a high coup.

« Last Edit: 15/09/2013 05:52:25 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3266 on: 15/09/2013 05:33:05 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...





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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3267 on: 15/09/2013 06:09:10 »
0
BSc
MA
PhD

3 degrees below zero.

Piled higher & Deeper?

« Last Edit: 16/09/2013 04:58:12 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3268 on: 15/09/2013 06:41:39 »
Quote from: Don_1
  H2O

= HIJKLMNO

P2Z

« Last Edit: 16/09/2013 00:27:30 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3269 on: 15/09/2013 06:54:04 »
[A toilet user] might be accused of making a commodtion.

[;D]

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3270 on: 18/09/2013 11:50:41 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...



They were the keystone of early film comedy.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3271 on: 18/09/2013 11:54:23 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3272 on: 18/09/2013 12:09:49 »
.......... And this is a quay stone:
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3273 on: 18/09/2013 12:18:47 »
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3274 on: 18/09/2013 13:30:37 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline bizerl

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3275 on: 18/09/2013 13:36:14 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

Could be a bass clef - A flat?

I think ice creams that have all the ice cream at the top and nothing in the cone are a tease cone. You eat them with a spooner.

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Offline bizerl

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3276 on: 18/09/2013 13:38:41 »
I also like to have tea, scones on the side please.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3277 on: 18/09/2013 18:51:30 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3278 on: 18/09/2013 19:00:21 »
I also like to have tea, scones on the side please.

Scone anyone?




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3279 on: 18/09/2013 19:11:37 »
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...




The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3280 on: 18/09/2013 19:33:14 »
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.


Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia



« Last Edit: 19/09/2013 01:09:13 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3281 on: 20/09/2013 11:55:09 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.
« Last Edit: 20/09/2013 11:57:08 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3282 on: 20/09/2013 11:59:38 »
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.


Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia





Thank you for tallinn us about this.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3283 on: 20/09/2013 12:06:23 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

Could be a bass clef - A flat?

I think ice creams that have all the ice cream at the top and nothing in the cone are a tease cone. You eat them with a spooner.

Ah! With a spooner is'm it? Well crone the stows.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3284 on: 20/09/2013 12:14:03 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I don't wish to deflate your enthusiasm, but obviously you need to pump up the volume.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3285 on: 20/09/2013 12:19:27 »

The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.


Would it also be the case that a Keystone Kop in the Tour de France would have far cycling to do?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3286 on: 20/09/2013 13:22:46 »

The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.


Would it also be the case that a Keystone Kop in the Tour de France would have far cycling to do?

One minute I'm sure a Keystone Kop would require it, the next minute I'm not so sure.

It's a vicious cycle.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3287 on: 20/09/2013 13:27:49 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.

Why Lionel Richie?

« Last Edit: 20/09/2013 13:46:24 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3288 on: 20/09/2013 13:56:19 »
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.


Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia





Thank you for tallinn us about this.

You're welcome.

There's no tallin how far this Science of Punning will take us.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3289 on: 20/09/2013 14:09:04 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.

Why Lionel Richie?



Oh commodore, commodore, now, you must remember All Night Long
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3290 on: 20/09/2013 14:10:21 »
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3291 on: 20/09/2013 14:12:13 »

It's a vicious cycle.


If we work in tandem we can beat it.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3292 on: 20/09/2013 14:18:24 »
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".


Which inevitabley leads me to the foreman on a building site. When told the brickies were running out of bricks on the last house and wouldn't have enough for any more than the ground floor, he said, "Never mind, just bung a low roof on it."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3293 on: 20/09/2013 20:03:40 »
This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.

Why Lionel Richie?



Oh commodore, commodore, now, you must remember All Night Long

<embarrassed, hanging up my musician's stripes>


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3294 on: 20/09/2013 20:07:56 »
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Funny! What instrument? (Mine's piano).

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3295 on: 20/09/2013 20:35:27 »
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:

http://www.usapple.org/nam





Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3296 on: 20/09/2013 21:53:07 »
Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.


Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3297 on: 20/09/2013 21:54:49 »
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Funny! What instrument? (Mine's piano).

I get the feeling it may have been his French Horn.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3298 on: 20/09/2013 21:59:00 »
Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.

Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?

Fruity puns are ok.

So are computer puns.

"Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!"


October is not a time for mintsing words, it's hard to know ware to begin and when to softly ware something nicer.


« Last Edit: 20/09/2013 22:10:02 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3299 on: 20/09/2013 22:00:33 »
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Singing in a pub one night, I asked if anyone had any requests. Some bight spark piped up, "Yes, 'Over the Hills and Far Away', as far away as possible!" Another joined in with "Do you know The Sound of Silence?" "Yes" I foolishly replied, he said "Well shut the *^%&*>* up then."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.