Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

  • 4487 Replies
  • 983695 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3300 on: 20/09/2013 22:05:09 »

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3301 on: 20/09/2013 22:12:56 »
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Singing in a pub one night, I asked if anyone had any requests. Some bight spark piped up, "Yes, 'Over the Hills and Far Away', as far away as possible!" Another joined in with "Do you know The Sound of Silence?" "Yes" I foolishly replied, he said "Well shut the *^%&*>* up then."

LOL![;D]

« Last Edit: 20/09/2013 22:17:01 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3302 on: 20/09/2013 22:30:57 »

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.

If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury of my pears.


*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3303 on: 23/09/2013 11:51:25 »

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.

If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury dhurrie of my pears.



But of course, after all, you don't want the carpet pulled from under you.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3304 on: 23/09/2013 12:01:37 »
Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.

Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?

Fruity puns are ok.

So are computer puns.

"Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!"


October is not a time for mintsing words, it's hard to know ware to begin and when to softly ware something nicer.




I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject. She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use. She prefers something enormouse, whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3305 on: 23/09/2013 22:41:59 »

I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject.


Instead, your mother should have gotten on board with the subject.


...She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use.


Perhaps The Big Tops are more appealing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaXFk5Lh9gc


She prefers something enormouse


Mouset you keep bringing that up?


...whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.


The dell you do!

« Last Edit: 29/09/2013 07:41:36 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3306 on: 23/09/2013 22:48:55 »

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.

If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury dhurrie of my pears.



But of course, after all, you don't want the carpet pulled from under you.

You're right. that happened to me while visiting Indianapolis!

But don't make carpet (blanket?) pronouncements; some people LIKE their carpets pulled from under them!



see: Masochism, wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masochism


« Last Edit: 29/09/2013 07:55:20 by demografx »

*

Offline bizerl

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 279
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3307 on: 24/09/2013 05:26:23 »
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.
« Last Edit: 24/09/2013 05:28:03 by bizerl »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3308 on: 24/09/2013 07:05:34 »
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.

I would recommend reserving your seat with a very large Indian carpet-travel call centre that hires huge numbers of part-time actors.

That way you will have a caste of thousands at your disposal!

« Last Edit: 29/09/2013 07:45:09 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3309 on: 24/09/2013 23:04:11 »

I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject.


Instead, your mother should have gotten on board with the subject.


...She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use.


Perhaps The Big Tops (Circuses) are more appealing?
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wby8PkgsFk


She prefers something enormouse


Mouset you keep bringing that up?


...whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.


The dell you do!


If you covet your neighbour's computer, you may end up going to help!
« Last Edit: 29/09/2013 07:36:04 by demografx »
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3310 on: 24/09/2013 23:59:22 »

If you covet your neighbour's computer, you may end up going to help!


« Last Edit: 25/09/2013 00:02:24 by demografx »

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3311 on: 26/09/2013 09:32:13 »
I have a covet on my bed. Or is that a duvet?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3312 on: 26/09/2013 09:41:43 »
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.

I'm glad you cottoned on to that.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3313 on: 27/09/2013 20:24:56 »
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.

I'm glad you cottoned on to that.

The manufacturing of t-shirts has really cotton.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3314 on: 27/09/2013 20:29:05 »


« Last Edit: 29/09/2013 07:58:06 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3315 on: 28/09/2013 23:46:06 »
I have a covet on my bed. Or is that a duvet?
I think it's a duvet cover.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3316 on: 29/09/2013 07:49:27 »
Does this mean Don_1 didn't cover all bases?

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3317 on: 29/09/2013 15:35:01 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3318 on: 30/09/2013 00:20:34 »


« Last Edit: 30/09/2013 00:48:40 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3319 on: 30/09/2013 00:34:34 »
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:

http://www.usapple.org/nam





Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!


« Last Edit: 30/09/2013 00:36:19 by demografx »

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3320 on: 30/09/2013 11:46:49 »
Does this mean Don_1 didn't cover all bases?

I may not have covered all the bases and don't think I covered the car, but I did cover di van.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3321 on: 30/09/2013 11:50:23 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3322 on: 30/09/2013 11:59:48 »
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:

http://www.usapple.org/nam

I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3323 on: 30/09/2013 12:02:39 »
Playing musical chairs, I got knocked out in the first round. I really should have sat suma.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3324 on: 30/09/2013 21:37:52 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3325 on: 30/09/2013 21:46:44 »
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:

http://www.usapple.org/nam

I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.


Same here. Even Grand Ma tried to do the rot thing.




« Last Edit: 01/10/2013 19:52:29 by demografx »

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3326 on: 01/10/2013 17:42:15 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.

I like it, I like it!!!

Oh yes Demo, we all know when ur ea, don't we!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3327 on: 01/10/2013 17:46:11 »
Do I like rented humour? Or is it just when its toilet
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3328 on: 01/10/2013 17:52:11 »


Look, people are pulling faeces at me.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3329 on: 01/10/2013 17:56:39 »
Oh! I seem to have been throne off course. Dear oh dear, its all gone down the pan now, I'm feeling rather flushed.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3330 on: 01/10/2013 18:58:09 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.

I like it, I like it!!!

Oh yes Demo, we all know when ur ea, don't we!

Don_1, yes, we're all here because we're not all there.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3331 on: 01/10/2013 19:06:55 »
Do I like rented humour? Or is it just when its toilet

People prefer the leasedt humor from me.

« Last Edit: 01/10/2013 23:46:45 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3332 on: 03/10/2013 19:58:09 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.
Sheet.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3333 on: 03/10/2013 21:28:57 »
Don't fear, Donnah! Don_1 has a SCIENTIFIC way out of this cot-conundrum:


« Last Edit: 03/10/2013 21:30:46 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3334 on: 03/10/2013 23:41:21 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.
Sheet.

Donnah wins this DISPOSABLE WEE-MATS Prize for the next time Don_1 visits...Donnah will be...PREPARED!



« Last Edit: 03/10/2013 23:48:51 by demografx »

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3335 on: 04/10/2013 16:23:24 »
Don't fear, Donnah! Don_1 has a SCIENTIFIC way out of this cot-conundrum:




Someone's nicked my idea!

Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, it didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!

[attachment=17975]


« Last Edit: 04/10/2013 16:43:49 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3336 on: 04/10/2013 16:48:39 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.
Sheet.

Donnah wins this DISPOSABLE WEE-MATS Prize for the next time Don_1 visits...Donnah will be...PREPARED!





I think Demo, Donnah & co lost a my bag.

I always used to be an 'appy person, never sad.
« Last Edit: 04/10/2013 16:51:02 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3337 on: 04/10/2013 17:29:21 »
I think Don_1's SCIENTIFIC solution is best, but I'm not 100% convinced of the political correctness of Don_1's product name change. Perhaps we submit this to the Product In Scientific Service (PISS) Committee????


*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3338 on: 05/10/2013 19:36:57 »
Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3339 on: 08/10/2013 04:41:09 »
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:

http://www.usapple.org/nam

I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.


Same here. Even Grand Ma tried to do the rot thing.



Why isn't this apple corectly celebrating???


*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3340 on: 08/10/2013 04:44:29 »

Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).


If Don_1  runs through a screen door he'll strain himself!

« Last Edit: 08/10/2013 04:46:07 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3341 on: 08/10/2013 19:40:49 »
Don't be saucy.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3342 on: 08/10/2013 20:52:21 »

Someone's nicked my idea!

Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, ["PISS OFF!!!!"] didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!


Your company motto should have been, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!"

Then watch sales skyrocket!

« Last Edit: 08/10/2013 21:23:20 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3343 on: 08/10/2013 20:56:42 »

Don't be saucy.


What is the saurce of your irritation?

Apple saurce?


« Last Edit: 09/10/2013 01:21:03 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8198
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3344 on: 09/10/2013 02:21:12 »
Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).

Thanks, Donnah![:)]

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3345 on: 09/10/2013 13:41:48 »

Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).


If Don_1  runs through a screen door he'll strain himself!



That would be just grate.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3346 on: 09/10/2013 13:45:08 »

Someone's nicked my idea!

Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, ["PISS OFF!!!!"] didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!


Your company motto should have been, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!"

Then watch sales skyrocket!



Do you think I'd pocket it in?


For the benefit of the unfamiliar; 'skyrocket' is cockney rhyming slang for 'pocket'.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3347 on: 09/10/2013 13:57:30 »
..................... skyrocket!



I sat on 5 chairs before I found one to my liking.

"You can't sit on that one, it belongs to Harry." Ann said.
« Last Edit: 09/10/2013 14:00:13 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3348 on: 09/10/2013 14:11:45 »
Don't be saucy.


Was that really pertinent?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3349 on: 09/10/2013 14:13:46 »


Eh pull faces at someone else.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.