Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

  • 4487 Replies
  • 976585 Views

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3350 on: 09/10/2013 14:20:32 »


What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not gurning to stand for it!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3351 on: 09/10/2013 14:45:10 »
The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.

I am glad to say that this silly regulation has been consigned to room 101 (probably the biggest & best room in Brussells).



The trouble is, while Esther Rantzen and the 'That's Life' team could amuze us with the real thing, these days, it will only too easy to 'photoshop' just about any photo to give the desired saucy result.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3352 on: 09/10/2013 19:57:51 »


What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not ***gurning to stand for it!

***Gurning. Pronounced /ˈɡɜːnɪŋ/ British term

« Last Edit: 10/10/2013 21:11:06 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
« Last Edit: 10/10/2013 21:14:32 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3354 on: 09/10/2013 20:18:00 »
The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.
Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?  I shop mainly in my garden and it's fun to give people produce with odd shapes and see their reaction.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3355 on: 10/10/2013 00:21:20 »

Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?...


My dentist's favorite shopping center is 'The Gap'.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3356 on: 10/10/2013 05:27:17 »
October, 2013, is:


We're 1/3 into October, so there's still time to apply yourselves, Dear Punsters!

« Last Edit: 10/10/2013 21:17:36 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3357 on: 10/10/2013 18:49:21 »

Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?...


My dentist's favorite shopping center is 'The Gap'.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away;-)
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3358 on: 10/10/2013 20:25:04 »

Thank you, Donnah. Until you said that, my search for the truth had been fruitless.

« Last Edit: 10/10/2013 21:09:10 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3359 on: 10/10/2013 20:37:07 »

An apple a day keeps the doctor away
;-)





.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


« Last Edit: 13/10/2013 16:21:40 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3360 on: 10/10/2013 20:55:56 »

Oh! I seem to have been throne off course.


Perhaps, but royal chairs - on the other hand - are rarely throne out.

« Last Edit: 11/10/2013 21:31:23 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3361 on: 10/10/2013 23:51:26 »
The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.
Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?  I shop mainly in my garden and it's fun to give people produce with odd shapes and see their reaction.

I agree. Fun shapes are...fun!

*

Offline alancalverd

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 4814
  • life is too short to drink instant coffee
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3362 on: 11/10/2013 19:18:53 »
But I am given to understand that the Turkish words for cucumber and melon are also slang for primary and secondary sexual characteristics, so it is forbidden to advertise them by shouting their names in a market. Instead, you have to shout "salad things" and "fruit things". Now how will that be reconciled with EU requirements for unambiguous labelling?   
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3363 on: 11/10/2013 21:35:29 »
Call them peniscukes and boobmelons???

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3364 on: 13/10/2013 16:02:49 »
October, 2013, is:




Good morning apple-in-your-coffee, anyone?


*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3365 on: 14/10/2013 05:32:26 »

October, 2013, is:




Don_1, you said you didn't want anyone pulling faces...


*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3366 on: 14/10/2013 05:52:43 »


What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not gurning to stand for it!

Don_1, I hope this facepulling below is an improvement!


*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3367 on: 16/10/2013 04:52:50 »

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"



Above: a Demo version.



*

Offline alancalverd

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 4814
  • life is too short to drink instant coffee
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3368 on: 16/10/2013 07:21:01 »
Perhaps, but royal chairs - on the other hand - are rarely throne out.

In my days as a civil servant, I was instructed in the arts of committee secretaryship. I was warned about political correctness thus: "Queen Anne is a chair. Princess Anne is a chairman. They are both very good at what they do, but please do not confuse their roles." 
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3369 on: 16/10/2013 21:19:42 »
Interesting, alancalverd! I would have thought chair and chairman would be reversed because of royal hierarchy.

« Last Edit: 16/10/2013 21:42:26 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3370 on: 17/10/2013 19:43:45 »
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

For Best Vetting Pun, Donnah wins this book prize!(it's the only graphic I could find!)





« Last Edit: 18/10/2013 01:53:53 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3371 on: 18/10/2013 04:47:32 »
That looks like the face of someone waiting for a burger to Frey.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3372 on: 18/10/2013 05:21:26 »
That looks like the face of someone waiting for a burger to Frey.


I owned three french-fry factories, but to me it was just small potatoes.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3373 on: 18/10/2013 05:31:29 »
October, 2013, is:




*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3374 on: 18/10/2013 05:39:00 »
October, 2013, is:




*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3375 on: 18/10/2013 05:40:13 »
October, 2013, is:


Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!

« Last Edit: 18/10/2013 13:04:26 by demografx »

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3376 on: 19/10/2013 16:04:00 »
October, 2013, is:


Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!



That's quite enough pho now.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3377 on: 19/10/2013 16:06:00 »
I do wish apple month would hurry up and go by. Its giving me the pip.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3378 on: 19/10/2013 16:15:23 »
Why do we never have an Ugly Fruit month? Must Ugly fruits always be palmed off with some future date? We must try to figure something out.

We'll allow Melon this thread, but must banAnna.

I can ci trused up lemons, can you see them?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3379 on: 19/10/2013 19:29:15 »

Why do we never have an Ugly Fruit month?


Per Don_1's excellent advice ~~~

Mid-to-Late-October is:
Ugly Fruit Weeks!







« Last Edit: 19/10/2013 22:25:51 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3380 on: 19/10/2013 21:17:41 »

Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!


That's quite enough pho now.


Don_1, I simply wished to allay suspicions that I am a Mac user, therefore I could be potentially biased in picking Apple month [:)]

« Last Edit: 19/10/2013 22:17:28 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3381 on: 19/10/2013 22:08:41 »


[We] must banAnna.


So let's all prepare for:
 
November, 2013, which is:
Banana Pudding Lovers Month!

But if we ban Anna, then November is a waste of time -- and that's pudding it mildly!

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3382 on: 21/10/2013 06:01:31 »
Or shall we democratically put November to a Punning Thread vote? Suggestions are requested - voluntarily - no more dungeon coercion tactics -- by the end of October!

Possible Punning Thread November Monthly Observance

Adopt A Senior Pet Month
American & National Diabetes Month
American Indian Heritage Month (See also August)
Aviation History Month
Banana Pudding Lovers Month
Diabetic Eye Disease Month
Epilepsy Awareness Month
Family Stories Month
Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month
Greens and Plantains Month
Historic Bridge Awareness Month
International Drum (Percussion) Month
Lung Cancer Awareness Month
Manatee Awareness Month
Movember
MADD's Tie One On For Safety Holiday Campaign (11/16-12/31)
Military Family Appreciation Month
National Adoption Month
National PPSI AIDS Awareness Month
National Alzheimer's Disease Month
National COPD Month
National Family Caregivers Month
National Georgia Pecan Month
National Home Care & Hospice Month
National Impotency Month
National Inspirational Role Models Month
National Life Writing Month
National Long-term Care Awareness Month
National Marrow Awareness Month
National Medical Science Liaison (MSL) Awareness & Appreciation Month
National Native American Heritage Month
National Family Literacy Month
National Novel Writing Month
National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
National Pet Cancer Awareness Month
National Pomegranate Month
National PPSI Aids Awareness Month
National Roasting Month
National Scholarship Month
Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month
Plum and Pomegranate Month
Prematurity Awareness Month
PTA Healthy Lifestyles Month
Spinach and Squash Month
Sweet Potato Awareness Month (See also February)
NoSHAVEmber (US - Beard Month or Movember (Australia - Moustache Month )
Vegan Month
Worldwide Bereaved Siblings Month
World Sponge Month

If you don't care for ANY of the above, we can trot out daily and/or weekly observances, all brought to you by brownielocks.com [:)]

« Last Edit: 21/10/2013 06:10:29 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3383 on: 22/10/2013 19:51:42 »
Gosh, I thought there were only 12 months in a year.

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3384 on: 23/10/2013 00:53:50 »
Gosh, I thought there were only 12 months in a year.

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.


Re. "12 months" -- at Punning Thread, mathematics, norms, etc. are usually thrown out the window. Take me as an example (I keep telling my wife that)...I'm thrown out of this place all the time... But I (somehow manage to) re-emerge from the shadows...

Donnah, I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

*

Offline SimpleEngineer

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 117
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3385 on: 23/10/2013 10:56:57 »

Re. "12 months" -- at Punning Thread, mathematics, norms, etc. are usually thrown out the window. Take me as an example (I keep telling my wife that)...I'm thrown out of this place all the time... But I (somehow manage to) re-emerge from the shadows...

Donnah, I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

Its nice to have a seed of an idea though..

I was going to write a book about a broken knife, but it didnt really have a point, and my book about a short church sermon didnt have many chapters.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3386 on: 23/10/2013 19:07:54 »

My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.


What could be verse?

« Last Edit: 25/10/2013 06:32:37 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3387 on: 25/10/2013 00:04:55 »

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.




« Last Edit: 25/10/2013 00:13:11 by demografx »

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3388 on: 25/10/2013 17:48:03 »

My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.


What could be verse?


God knows.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3389 on: 26/10/2013 22:37:04 »

My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.


What could be verse?


God knows.


This is getting steeple.

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3390 on: 28/10/2013 01:13:35 »
Don't get cross.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline SimpleEngineer

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 117
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3391 on: 28/10/2013 14:13:45 »
Aisle say these puns give me something to aspire to

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3392 on: 28/10/2013 14:21:17 »

Don't get cross.


I'm not cross.

I just love crosswords.

In fact, I wish to be buried six down and three across.

« Last Edit: 28/10/2013 14:24:51 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3393 on: 28/10/2013 14:34:03 »
Aisle say these puns give me something to aspire to

A recent Pew Study confirms this occurs frequently.

« Last Edit: 28/10/2013 14:36:09 by demografx »

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3394 on: 28/10/2013 15:10:01 »

Don't get cross.

OK, I'll admit: you nailed it.

*

Offline Donnah

  • Ma-Donnah
  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 1756
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3395 on: 28/10/2013 17:45:14 »
I just kept hammering until I got it.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3396 on: 28/10/2013 21:34:28 »

*

Offline alancalverd

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 4814
  • life is too short to drink instant coffee
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3397 on: 28/10/2013 22:40:37 »
Pointless, but rivetting nonetheless. 
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3398 on: 29/10/2013 02:34:41 »



*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3399 on: 31/10/2013 14:20:36 »
happy halloween everyone!