Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3400 on: 31/10/2013 18:17:02 »
Pointless, but rivetting nonetheless. 
At least you're not board.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3401 on: 01/11/2013 03:32:43 »

At this rate, he will be chairing soon!

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3402 on: 01/11/2013 23:59:37 »
alancalverd for chairman of the (not) board!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3403 on: 02/11/2013 01:41:15 »
I second the notion!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3404 on: 02/11/2013 01:45:30 »
alancalverd for chairman of the (not) board!

I hope he's on board with the nomination!

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3405 on: 06/11/2013 19:59:06 »
I hope he didn't ship out.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline SimpleEngineer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3406 on: 07/11/2013 10:25:06 »
I've got a sinking feeling about this.. lets hope he is playing with an even deck

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3407 on: 07/11/2013 17:33:47 »
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3408 on: 07/11/2013 17:37:24 »
Glad you are on an even keel.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3409 on: 08/11/2013 21:08:20 »
Sure he is.

See how well he navigates this thread!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3410 on: 08/11/2013 21:27:50 »


I've got a sinking feeling about this...


Just sync your smartphone but don't ship out!

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3411 on: 08/11/2013 23:13:12 »
We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3412 on: 09/11/2013 18:43:07 »
We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!

These women are proud and happy to present alancalverd with The 2013 Sailing Pun Award!




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3413 on: 11/11/2013 08:44:25 »

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.





« Last Edit: 11/11/2013 08:46:04 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3414 on: 11/11/2013 20:26:45 »


I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.


Old romance novelists never die, they just run out of steam.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3415 on: 18/11/2013 15:33:57 »
Cooee, 'tis I returned from the cold to annoy the pants off one and all.


Old romance novelists never die, they just run out of steam.

Julius & Mark Anthony..... They were old romans.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3416 on: 18/11/2013 15:38:04 »
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3417 on: 18/11/2013 15:42:16 »


I've got a sinking feeling about this...


Just sync your smartphone but don't ship out!


That's the trouble cell phone lines at sea, mine's cuttle the time.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3418 on: 18/11/2013 15:46:22 »

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.







Ah! The pie chart, some say it was Florence Nightingale who invented it, but come on now, play fair, it was William, Bill (US = check) to his friends and the waitress who served him with the pie.

BILL ??? CHECK??? No that bit just don't work at all, do it?!?!
« Last Edit: 18/11/2013 15:48:52 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3419 on: 18/11/2013 15:51:47 »
We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!

These women are proud and happy to present alancalverd with The 2013 Sailing Pun Award!





Shouldn't that be "sailing punt award"?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3420 on: 18/11/2013 17:53:43 »
Oh Buoy! I'll take all four belles, thanks, though I may have to heave two in order to go about my business. Get my drift? Knot that I can fathom what this is all about, of course.   
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3421 on: 19/11/2013 01:13:48 »
You mean, off course?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3422 on: 19/11/2013 08:55:53 »
Oh Buoy! I'll take all four belles, thanks, though I may have to heave two in order to go about my business. Get my drift? Knot that I can fathom what this is all about, of course.   

I am led to understand that one of these four belles is in fact your father's sister and that in the past she made regular appearances in 'top shelf' magazines. Do these facts mean that she is a sextaunt?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3423 on: 19/11/2013 08:57:30 »
You mean, off course?

He does appear to be all at sea.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3424 on: 19/11/2013 17:53:56 »
Do these facts mean that she is a sex  taunt?

No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.
helping to stem the tide of ignorance

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3425 on: 20/11/2013 05:54:46 »
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?

I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.

« Last Edit: 20/11/2013 06:15:25 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3426 on: 20/11/2013 05:59:41 »
Do these facts mean that she is a sex  taunt?

No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3427 on: 20/11/2013 06:11:00 »
Is this naval month or novel month...anvil vee go on forever???

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3428 on: 20/11/2013 06:12:21 »
Navel [e.g., gazing] Month is another option, I suppose.

« Last Edit: 20/11/2013 06:17:14 by demografx »

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Offline SimpleEngineer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3429 on: 20/11/2013 10:49:27 »
on the button there.. waist not want not..

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3430 on: 20/11/2013 11:23:58 »
Do these facts mean that she is a sex  taunt?

No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.

That's no way to conduct yourself if you want me to be your first mate.

You will have to pay me dearly now, so get out your purse err I mean wallet.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3431 on: 20/11/2013 11:54:33 »
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?

I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.



Please don't wax me around the head with a floater, especially if its brown and while, in the harbour, the boats wane with the tide.


Permit me to explain myself:
Buoy = floater - floater/brown = brown floater, enough said.
wax = wacks, also wax and wane of the tide
boats wane - boatswain = higgs = Higgs Bosun = blood coming out of my ears = I've overdone it again.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3432 on: 20/11/2013 11:58:11 »
on the button there.. waist not want not..

..... or a stitch in time.

Perhaps I should explain again, after all, I'm confusing myself!!!
Waist knot = stitch
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Dave B

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3433 on: 20/11/2013 21:42:20 »
Does the evidence in a stitch-up hang by a thread?

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Offline SimpleEngineer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3434 on: 21/11/2013 08:35:15 »
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3435 on: 21/11/2013 16:11:31 »
Knot a problem.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3436 on: 21/11/2013 16:17:40 »
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?

I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.



Please don't wax me around the head with a floater, especially if its brown and while, in the harbour, the boats wane with the tide.


Permit me to explain myself:
Buoy = floater - floater/brown = brown floater, enough said.
wax = wacks, also wax and wane of the tide
boats wane - boatswain = higgs = Higgs Bosun = blood coming out of my ears = I've overdone it again.



Buoy, does Don_1 ever deserve his Award [see pic below] for all that float work.

But it's not for sail!




« Last Edit: 22/11/2013 16:12:02 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3437 on: 22/11/2013 20:56:33 »
All this talk of sewing is giving me the needle.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3438 on: 22/11/2013 21:03:03 »


I hate to think what that brown stuff in the water is. Whatever it may be, its big and seems to be attacking the marker buoy. If its a brown floater, whatever did it must have been huge. It must have had a whale of a time doing it.

Could it have been an accident, or was it done on porpoise?
« Last Edit: 22/11/2013 21:05:05 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3439 on: 22/11/2013 21:17:49 »
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat

Knotty, ash a nuisance.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3440 on: 22/11/2013 21:19:25 »
Does the evidence in a stitch-up hang by a thread?

Yar never know.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3441 on: 23/11/2013 00:29:08 »
Just like the boogie, man.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3442 on: 23/11/2013 01:50:04 »
Just like the boogie, man.

The Boogie Man??? Isn't that Demo?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3443 on: 23/11/2013 02:56:59 »
I'll never tell.

« Last Edit: 23/11/2013 02:59:44 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3444 on: 23/11/2013 23:15:29 »
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat

Knotty, ash a nuisance.

Dis might lead us to di strictest kind of knotty Liverpool problems ever seen before!




« Last Edit: 24/11/2013 05:53:41 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3445 on: 24/11/2013 00:15:31 »
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat

Knotty, ash a nuisance.

« Last Edit: 25/11/2013 23:53:05 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3446 on: 28/11/2013 15:04:58 »
She who must be obeyed is no good at knitting or sewing, you can bank on that.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3447 on: 28/11/2013 15:08:25 »
So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3448 on: 28/11/2013 15:14:43 »
In the jewelery shop:

Which one would Sir care to look at?

That one on the very end, if you please.

Ah! The far ring Don was looking at.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3449 on: 29/11/2013 05:35:43 »
Just looking, not fingering?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn