Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3550 on: 21/01/2014 06:28:55 »

Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?


A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.

I heard it was a bomb, alas. Ka BOOM!

Did it happen near puddington?

This is some pretty bomb...tapioca.

That's one way of pudding it!


« Last Edit: 22/01/2014 03:06:37 by demografx »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3551 on: 21/01/2014 22:56:20 »
Yesterday my Venus Flytrap choked.... I had to give it the Hemlock maneuver!
« Last Edit: 21/01/2014 22:57:55 by Aemilius »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3552 on: 22/01/2014 02:57:48 »
Yesterday my Venus Flytrap choked.... I had to give it the Hemlock maneuver!



I'm moving!
Demo

« Last Edit: 22/01/2014 03:00:35 by demografx »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3553 on: 23/01/2014 03:12:25 »
 A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!
« Last Edit: 04/02/2014 01:16:42 by Aemilius »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3554 on: 24/01/2014 01:37:54 »
« Last Edit: 24/01/2014 01:40:06 by demografx »


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3556 on: 24/01/2014 05:00:16 »
Nice pic, RD!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3557 on: 24/01/2014 16:58:15 »
January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3558 on: 24/01/2014 17:00:56 »
Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3559 on: 28/01/2014 15:27:10 »
Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?


By thunder they do and lightening quick at that.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3561 on: 28/01/2014 15:37:23 »
A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!


Terrance, the fella who was re-tiling our kitchen wall was good at his job, but rather short sighted. "Pterry,dactile is cracked." I told him.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3562 on: 28/01/2014 15:43:12 »
[attachment=18451]
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3563 on: 28/01/2014 22:16:27 »
[attachment=18451]

Overheard in med school - 'I learned about the colon through the process of elimination.'


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3564 on: 29/01/2014 02:28:53 »
Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?


By thunder they do and lightning quick at that.



Played at weather forecasting conferences?

« Last Edit: 29/01/2014 04:18:48 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3565 on: 29/01/2014 04:25:43 »
January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month





Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3566 on: 29/01/2014 11:23:57 »

Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?


Only if they are old tarts with makeup caked on their faces. The younger less crusty ones who no longer live for yeasterday tend to soak up modern technology like a sponge. Though it may cost them a good deal of dough, it usually proves to be the better option.

Yea, yea, yeah! wheatever you say. Have you been drinking? Are you a little tipsy?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3567 on: 29/01/2014 11:39:52 »
Q. What type of shoes do bakers wear?

A. Loafers.


Q. How do female bakers wear their hair?

A. In a bun.


Q. What do bakers do in their spare time?

A. Flour arranging.
« Last Edit: 29/01/2014 11:44:39 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3568 on: 30/01/2014 00:36:08 »

Q. What type of shoes do bakers wear?

A. Loafers.





Q. How do female bakers wear their hair?

A. In a bun.


If you have sticky buns you shouldn't put pants on.


Q. What do bakers do in their spare time?

A. Flour arranging.


When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour!


« Last Edit: 30/01/2014 00:38:41 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3569 on: 30/01/2014 00:47:03 »

Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?


Only if they are old tarts with makeup caked on their faces. The younger less crusty ones who no longer live for yeasterday tend to soak up modern technology like a sponge. Though it may cost them a good deal of dough, it usually proves to be the better option.

Yea, yea, yeah! wheatever you say. Have you been drinking? Are you a little tipsy?

For Don_1!

« Last Edit: 30/01/2014 00:52:09 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3570 on: 02/02/2014 08:12:31 »

January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month





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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3571 on: 03/02/2014 00:37:45 »

January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month





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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3572 on: 03/02/2014 03:43:21 »
February, 2014 is:
Dog Training Education Month
http://www.dog-obedience-training-review.com/c/february-dog-training-education-month






I trained my dog to hunt for underground mushrooms but now he's more truffle than he's worth.


« Last Edit: 03/02/2014 04:10:11 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3573 on: 03/02/2014 12:35:20 »
Toilet humour?

[attachment=18454]
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3574 on: 03/02/2014 20:16:19 »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3575 on: 04/02/2014 00:27:47 »
Toilet humor? Well, a few years back, Johnny Carson (yes, I'm that old) had to sue to persuade a Porta-Potty outfit not to use Heeere's Johnny! as their business name. 
« Last Edit: 04/02/2014 03:48:26 by Aemilius »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3576 on: 04/02/2014 00:39:48 »
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!
« Last Edit: 04/02/2014 03:59:45 by Aemilius »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3577 on: 04/02/2014 00:49:26 »
More creatively, I would opt for Obamas original campaign slogan as the ultimate, the YesWe-Can!
« Last Edit: 04/02/2014 05:49:33 by Aemilius »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3578 on: 04/02/2014 01:00:54 »
Can you think of any others?

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Offline RD

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3579 on: 04/02/2014 05:21:14 »
Toilet humor? Well, a few years back, Johnny Carson (yes, I'm that old) had to sue to persuade a Porta-Potty outfit not to use Heeere's Johnny! as their business name. 

He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3580 on: 04/02/2014 05:53:11 »
Hah! That's hilarious RD!
« Last Edit: 04/02/2014 11:00:21 by Aemilius »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3581 on: 04/02/2014 17:59:00 »
He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967

Hey wait a minute! I looked at the link RD.... "Rock'n'roll singer Chubby Checker is suing HP over an app that used his name as a euphemism for penis size. The Chubby Checker app that appeared on websites for Palm OS devices claimed to guess the intimate measurement based on shoe size. Lawyers acting for the singer are seeking $500 million in compensation, saying the app has done irreparable damage to his reputation."

I don't understand, if the size of ones manhood corresponds to ones shoe size....

Wouldn't that have enhanced his reputation?

You have to admit, that mans got a lot of sole!.... I think if he wanted a job as the spokesperson for Viagra he'd be a real shoe in!
« Last Edit: 04/02/2014 18:30:39 by Aemilius »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3582 on: 04/02/2014 18:14:49 »
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!

No resistance.

As long as it's clean and  uses wholly water (no impure elements).


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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3583 on: 04/02/2014 22:01:55 »
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!

No resistance.

As long as it's clean and  uses wholly water (no impure elements).

I think you may be over anal-ylzing it.

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3584 on: 04/02/2014 22:05:56 »
We really need to look at the end result.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3585 on: 04/02/2014 22:49:47 »
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!

No resistance.

As long as it's clean and  uses wholly water (no impure elements).

I think you may be over anal-ylzing it.

You're right: overanalysis can lead to paralysis.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3586 on: 04/02/2014 22:52:59 »
We really need to look at the end result.

To me the end result of a can-do attitude is positively candid.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3587 on: 04/02/2014 23:01:28 »
He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967

Hey wait a minute! I looked at the link RD.... "Rock'n'roll singer Chubby Checker is suing HP over an app that used his name as a euphemism for penis size. The Chubby Checker app that appeared on websites for Palm OS devices claimed to guess the intimate measurement based on shoe size. Lawyers acting for the singer are seeking $500 million in compensation, saying the app has done irreparable damage to his reputation."

I don't understand, if the size of ones manhood corresponds to ones shoe size....

Wouldn't that have enhanced his reputation?

You have to admit, that mans got a lot of sole!.... I think if he wanted a job as the spokesperson for Viagra he'd be a real shoe in!

Aemilius wins this Checkers Punning Award!

(Automatic Checkers Player -- battery not included!)





« Last Edit: 05/02/2014 00:50:34 by demografx »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3588 on: 05/02/2014 04:14:18 »
Surprising really in view of my checkered past.... I feel like such a heel!
« Last Edit: 05/02/2014 04:17:42 by Aemilius »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3589 on: 05/02/2014 20:59:19 »

Checkers was invented starting at square one.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3590 on: 05/02/2014 21:55:36 »
A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!


Terrance, the fella who was re-tiling our kitchen wall was good at his job, but rather short sighted. "Pterry,dactile is cracked." I told him.

Terrance replied: "Look, Dino - er, I mean Don_1, sorry, but birds like us need to stick together...and not accuse each other of being a craock o' tile!"







« Last Edit: 06/02/2014 04:01:13 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3591 on: 05/02/2014 22:15:40 »

I feel like such a heel!


Don't!

You're always toegether with us in improving the legwork of this thread!

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3592 on: 05/02/2014 22:32:37 »
Hah! I sense a running theme developing here.... with 278428 views this thread already has quite a footprint!
« Last Edit: 05/02/2014 22:37:31 by Aemilius »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3593 on: 06/02/2014 02:11:10 »
Hah! I sense a running theme developing here.... with 278428 views this thread already has quite a footprint!

I can't recall the last time I did any running, but I've been jogging my memory.

Memory Fail

« Last Edit: 06/02/2014 03:04:32 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3594 on: 06/02/2014 04:21:56 »
Toilet humour?

[attachment=18454]

Should we eliminate (pun intended) toilet humor?

Or do we need to have a birthday potty celebration?[:)]

RSVP

« Last Edit: 08/02/2014 00:33:41 by demografx »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3595 on: 06/02/2014 11:02:42 »
Should we eliminate (pun intended) toilet humor?

Please, let's not go there, I just couldn't bear it! I'm against any dia-log here, freedom of speech is protected by an important document called....
....the Constipation of the United States of America

 
« Last Edit: 09/02/2014 15:59:11 by Aemilius »

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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3596 on: 06/02/2014 15:39:06 »
We even named a ship after it. I believe her Captain was a Rear Admiral....

....The USS Constipation
« Last Edit: 07/02/2014 12:22:25 by Aemilius »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3597 on: 06/02/2014 19:11:46 »
I'm for anything here as long as it doesn't makes us look like asses!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3598 on: 07/02/2014 03:07:18 »
Did you hear about the fight at a local Laundromat?

A washing machine beat the crap out of a diaper.



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Offline Aemilius

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3599 on: 07/02/2014 06:08:46 »
Sounds like it was a good clean fight.