Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3750 on: 25/04/2014 01:13:20 »

C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!

Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.

And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers  at you for attempting that!



I suppose we should be thankful that you didn't mention Fingers Malone when you knuckled down to write that.

I'm not going to take a hard copy of this post, I can do without a finger print. I'll just make do with a digital copy.
« Last Edit: 25/04/2014 01:34:45 by Don_1 »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3751 on: 25/04/2014 01:26:41 »
The beautiful young lady receptionist at the hotel rang me to say that my room booking had been confirmed. Now that's what I term as a cutie call.
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3752 on: 25/04/2014 01:36:32 »
LOOK OUT EVERYBODY, Demo is on the prowl, quick, hide.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3753 on: 25/04/2014 04:14:42 »
The beautiful young lady receptionist at the hotel rang me to say that my room booking had been confirmed. Now that's what I term as a cutie call.

True, but that cutie call is only one of the many, mani cures that the hotel offers.


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3754 on: 25/04/2014 04:19:42 »

C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!

Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.

And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers  at you for attempting that!



I suppose we should be thankful that you didn't mention Fingers Malone when you knuckled down to write that.

I'm not going to take a hard copy of this post, I can do without a finger print. I'll just make do with a digital copy.

Think we nailed it this time?

More like a crucifixion!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3755 on: 25/04/2014 04:54:11 »
I wonder if they will celebrate English language day at Oxford University???

If the Chancellor of Oxford University were to be removed from his position on the grounds of mental instability, could it be said that he would have lost control of his faculties ?

Maybe the Chancellor simply couldn't make the grade?

Certainly worthwhile studying this more.

It's teaching me not to judge a whole class of people, e.g., "All Chancellors are mentally unstable".

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3756 on: 25/04/2014 11:45:05 »
"All Chancellors are mentally unstable".

Hey doll for what purpose do you think Demo made that comment?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3757 on: 25/04/2014 11:56:11 »
Oi!!! You ....... Mr Don 1


I really didn't like the angle a that post. I'ma calling in your license to pun if  you do that again.



Oh look, this is getting close to satirical punning.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3758 on: 25/04/2014 12:05:00 »
Oh look, this is getting close to satirical punning.

That's as may be, but there's no need to blair it out. I do carey about these things you know ba ma sense of national pride holds me back. So would yours if you camer on the same boat as me.
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3759 on: 25/04/2014 13:03:00 »
Some parasites were having a shindig on a parrot. The headline in the morning paper was PARTY POLLY TICS.
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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3760 on: 26/04/2014 22:16:50 »

"All Chancellors are mentally unstable".


Hey doll for what purpose do you think Demo made that comment?


« Last Edit: 26/04/2014 22:20:35 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3761 on: 29/04/2014 06:04:18 »
April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/


Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?

Because they 'can'.

« Last Edit: 29/04/2014 06:06:59 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3762 on: 29/04/2014 11:01:20 »
April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/


Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?

Because they 'can'.



Now that's jarred my memory. It was beautiful late summer's morning and down at the manor house, the gardener was tending to the fruit nets to stop birds from pectin at the redcurrants.

The Squire had invited friends & relatives for the weekend and his good lady wife was conducting a preservice check on the breakfast table. She called to the maid, "Did you lay the table?" The maid replied, "Yes Ma am, I laid it first thing this morning."

"Very well done," the Lady of the house retorted, "Now if you would please announce 'Breakfast is served'  and  jam open the French windows to let in the smell of the rose garden."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3763 on: 29/04/2014 11:08:25 »
Alan and I didn't want anyone to see what we had found in the old natural history museum vaults until we were good and ready to make the announcement.
But the invited guests to the unveiling were turning up too early so I had to inform Al d' hide the specimen jar.
« Last Edit: 30/04/2014 10:15:37 by Don_1 »
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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3764 on: 29/04/2014 15:05:26 »
April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/


Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?

Because they 'can'.



Now that's jarred my memory. It was beautiful late summer's morning and down at the manor house, the gardener was tending to the fruit nets to stop birds from pectin at the redcurrants.

The Squire had invited friends & relatives for the weekend and his good lady wife was conducting a preservice check on the breakfast table. She called to the maid, "Did you lay the table?" The maid replied, "Yes Ma am, I laid it first thing this morning."

"Very well done," the Lady of the house retorted, "Now if you would please announce 'Breakfast is served'  and  jam open the French windows to let in the smell of the rose garden."
Alan and I didn't want anyone to see what we had found in the old natural history museum vaults until we were good and ready to make the announcement.
But the invited guests to the unveiling were turning up to early so I had too inform Al d' hide the specimen jar.

Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:


« Last Edit: 29/04/2014 15:13:07 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3765 on: 30/04/2014 10:21:48 »

Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:




Last year, they kept it to themselves and were accused of being the Self Preservation Society.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3766 on: 30/04/2014 10:24:33 »
This line of punning has me in a bit of a pickle.

We're going to have to know our onions if we're going to find a way to a new line.

AHha! That's it, 'onions', of course, we can move on now rather than vegetate on the preserves.
« Last Edit: 30/04/2014 10:28:44 by Don_1 »
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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3767 on: 01/05/2014 20:03:00 »
This line of punning has me in a bit of a pickle.

We're going to have to know our onions if we're going to find a way to a new line.

AHha! That's it, 'onions', of course, we can move on now rather than vegetate on the preserves.



« Last Edit: 01/05/2014 20:31:15 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3768 on: 01/05/2014 20:13:13 »

Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:




Last year, they kept it to themselves and were accused of being the Self Preservation Society.


« Last Edit: 01/05/2014 20:15:58 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3769 on: 03/05/2014 06:10:40 »
That jarring thought made me steaming mad.  I'll put a lid on it though.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3770 on: 03/05/2014 16:02:47 »
That jarring thought made me steaming mad.  I'll put a lid on it though.

Sealed with a kiss, perchance?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3771 on: 03/05/2014 16:10:02 »
And here's my seal of approval.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3772 on: 04/05/2014 15:56:46 »
Today, May 4, 2014 is:
QUATRO DE MAYO!
















Whoops! A day early!!
 [:-\]


« Last Edit: 04/05/2014 15:58:44 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3773 on: 05/05/2014 03:09:27 »

But today...



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3774 on: 05/05/2014 03:18:05 »



Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???


« Last Edit: 05/05/2014 03:45:13 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3775 on: 05/05/2014 05:19:04 »




Thumbs up! Seal of Approval for Don_1 and Donnah!



« Last Edit: 05/05/2014 05:22:59 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3776 on: 06/05/2014 03:25:20 »
And here's my seal of approval.
More like sealed with a cat.  When I clicked your "seal of approval" link and the baby started talking, Odyn got up from my keyboard and looked behind the computer.  Super Odyn; guard cat extraordinaire!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3777 on: 06/05/2014 03:27:36 »



Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???



No, that's "Uno de Mayo"; you need five jars for "Cinco de Mayo".
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3778 on: 06/05/2014 03:41:02 »

Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???


No, that's "Uno de Mayo"; you need five jars for "Cinco de Mayo".

Thanks, Donnah, I knew you'd know the answer!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3779 on: 06/05/2014 03:51:12 »
And here's my seal of approval.
More like sealed with a cat.  When I clicked your "seal of approval" link and the baby started talking, Odyn got up from my keyboard and looked behind the computer.  Super Odyn; guard cat extraordinaire!



I see that Odyn has been very busy lately!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3780 on: 06/05/2014 09:23:18 »

I see that Odyn has been very busy lately!

He sure has, here he is preparing for an attack on the Isle of Dogs.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3781 on: 06/05/2014 10:04:25 »
Ohhh, I say! Over 300k views of this thread. Can you believe there can be sew many people who are knitty enough follow this tangled web of words we weave? Of course it is our very own Demo who can lay claim to inaugurating this pearl in the crown of the TNS forum. It may make some people cross at times, even give them the needle, but obviously it amuses some and perhaps has some in stitches occasionally.
As we near the third of a million views, I wonder if an award is looming on the horizon.

Oh brother, we must invite a singer to the ceremony.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3782 on: 06/05/2014 19:16:37 »
Ohhh, I say! Over 300k views of this thread. Can you believe there can be sew many people who are knitty enough follow this tangled web of words we weave? Of course it is our very own Demo who can lay claim to inaugurating this pearl in the crown of the TNS forum. It may make some people cross at times, even give them the needle, but obviously it amuses some and perhaps has some in stitches occasionally.
As we near the third of a million views, I wonder if an award is looming on the horizon.

Oh brother, we must invite a singer to the ceremony.

An appropriate Game Award for Don_1!



« Last Edit: 07/05/2014 04:34:12 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3783 on: 07/05/2014 05:11:01 »

Oh brother, we must invite a singer to the ceremony.


Bah! Don_1, those machines are too durn modern and...newfangled!

Mrs. Demo is perfectly happy with her old trusty sewing table !



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3784 on: 07/05/2014 13:14:18 »
I see you're not one for keeping up with the Joneses then.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3785 on: 07/05/2014 20:13:49 »
Don't insult me, Don_1: I'm up to date


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3786 on: 08/05/2014 09:23:40 »
Don't insult me, Don_1: I'm up to date



Ah! Yes, ermmmmmmmmm, how do I tell him???

I shall have to treadle carefully, not spin any yarns. I don't want to give him the needle. Button the other hand, I feel he needs to know. Perhaps I'll send hem him a zip file. Or would that fly in the face of convention?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3787 on: 08/05/2014 19:13:56 »
OK, I've thought long and hard about this. I am now ready to break the news to Demo.

Ahem.......

Well, now you see, there was once an English bloke by the name of Mike Fairyday (or summat t' that effect) and he had an Italian chum with frogs legs. Or was it a Frog with Italian legs??? Anyways, this geezer's name was Luigi Galvani (short for 'galvanise' I suspect) and he used to poke frogs legs in public........... blah blah blah blah........



.........blah blah blah blah........... and that's how ol' Micky Faraway, or whatever his name was, discovered the London Electrickery Company. From what I understand, some fella over there in the US of A  by the name of Edward made a glass thingy glow with some o' this 'ere electrickery. Everyone in the room watched this thingy as the switch was thrown.
"Did it work?" called Edward from a safe distance in another room (he wasn't daft) and they all joined in the chorus "Yes Ed is on.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3788 on: 08/05/2014 22:03:50 »


Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)






« Last Edit: 08/05/2014 22:36:26 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3789 on: 08/05/2014 22:22:25 »
Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???

That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.

« Last Edit: 08/05/2014 22:44:32 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3790 on: 09/05/2014 07:58:29 »


If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.



But..... but..... but..... I thought you already had!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3791 on: 09/05/2014 08:10:20 »


Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)


He was used by Edison only during the preliminary days. Edison didn't want to be around when the switch was thrown, in case it all went disastrously wrong. He would shout his orders in pigeon Serbian  from a safe distance, "Nikola, test la bulb now."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3792 on: 09/05/2014 08:16:06 »
Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???

That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.



So, you'll be looking into SEW AGE huh!

MAN U Re brave.

Come post some more like this.

If you were Islamic, you couldn't be a Suny, you'd have to be a Shia-t.
« Last Edit: 09/05/2014 08:24:55 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3793 on: 09/05/2014 17:58:49 »

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.


But..... but..... but..... I thought you already had!


You're right! I'll specialize in Blue Dinosaur Research! Thanks for the career direction. What do I owe you?

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3794 on: 09/05/2014 18:11:32 »


Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)


He was used by Edison only during the preliminary days. Edison didn't want to be around when the switch was thrown, in case it all went disastrously wrong. He would shout his orders in pigeon Serbian  from a safe distance, "Nikola, test la bulb now."

This is shocking news to me!
 [:0]


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3795 on: 09/05/2014 21:40:49 »
Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???

That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.



So, you'll be looking into SEW AGE huh!

MAN U Re brave.

Come post some more like this.

If you were Islamic, you couldn't be a Suny, you'd have to be a Shia-t.

No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Age

« Last Edit: 10/05/2014 01:46:42 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3796 on: 09/05/2014 22:44:47 »




I suppose that you will next poke fun at the new Mother's Day dress I bought for Mrs. Demo!!!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3797 on: 10/05/2014 13:42:53 »
I wasn't going to mention that, but since you've brought it up.......... Let's just say I'm not so sure the good lady would have been exactly enthralled.

Apparently it had a faint odour of moth balls. Are you sure it was 'new'?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3798 on: 10/05/2014 13:54:44 »

No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!


New age, Sew age; Much the same thing really.

Its all a load of
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3799 on: 10/05/2014 18:40:02 »
I wasn't going to mention that, but since you've brought it up.......... Let's just say I'm not so sure the good lady would have been exactly enthralled.

Apparently it had a faint odour of moth balls. Are you sure it was 'new'?

Not moth balls: formaldehyde.

To preserve it as new!