Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3800 on: 10/05/2014 18:44:36 »

No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!


New age, Sew age; Much the same thing really.

Its all a load of




"I agree!"

« Last Edit: 11/05/2014 07:16:17 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3801 on: 20/05/2014 17:12:50 »
Well now, that jolly chubby chappy looks like he's on a Trip o'ling about his posture.

And speaking of Li, b ya watching carefully Demo?

Yes, 'tis I speaking (or rather typing) from Old Tripoli Town In Libya and making a pretty bad job of punning from foriegn shores.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3802 on: 21/05/2014 03:38:47 »

Speaking of Li, b ya watching carefully Demo?


When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3803 on: 26/05/2014 03:44:47 »
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3804 on: 26/05/2014 09:57:18 »
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.

He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3805 on: 27/05/2014 05:08:48 »
When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3806 on: 27/05/2014 13:47:33 »

Today, May 27, 2014 is:
Cellophane Tape Day

I imagine that doing business in Libya must involve a lot of red tape.


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3807 on: 29/05/2014 16:09:55 »
Opposite the hotel in Tripoli was a mosque. Every morning the call to prayer was blasted out at 5am.
Though it did wake me, I went back to sleep after a couple of minarets.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3808 on: 29/05/2014 16:15:42 »
When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.





I am told your word is binding and that you have the spine to back up your words. This should entitle you to an award.

You may pick your own award, authorwise one can be selected for you.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3809 on: 29/05/2014 22:27:05 »
Opposite the hotel in Tripoli was a mosque. Every morning the call to prayer was blasted out at 5am.
Though it did wake me, I went back to sleep after a couple of minarets.

Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!




« Last Edit: 30/05/2014 03:35:49 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3810 on: 30/05/2014 00:40:29 »
When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.





I am told your word is binding and that you have the spine to back up your words. This should entitle you to an award.

You may pick your own award, authorwise one can be selected for you.

Thank you.

My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3811 on: 31/05/2014 11:29:11 »

Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!


Shouldn't that be a stairway to heaven.

I think you may have been led up the wrong path, perchance by one of the Marx Bros. namely Zeppo, linning  his pocket, as usual.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3812 on: 31/05/2014 11:32:44 »

My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.


Just wait till you suffer from the scrolls......

But I have to say that man, you scripted that well.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3813 on: 31/05/2014 11:37:18 »
Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.

"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3814 on: 01/06/2014 05:21:19 »

My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.


Just wait till you suffer from the scrolls......

But I have to say that man, you scripted that well.



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3815 on: 01/06/2014 05:22:18 »

Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.

"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?

You can always try lo Gic or reason if intuition and emotions don't work.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3816 on: 01/06/2014 05:28:43 »

Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!


Shouldn't that be a stairway to heaven.

I think you may have been led up the wrong path, perchance by one of the Marx Bros. namely Zeppo, linning  his pocket, as usual.





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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3817 on: 04/06/2014 10:59:41 »
I refer you to the GRAPH ZEPpo LINed his pockets with, which he later hid beHIND AN iceBERG.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3818 on: 04/06/2014 11:05:47 »
I asked a local chap if the long mound of earth obscured the view from the town square.
He replied "Oh yes, der ridge able to block any such vista."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3819 on: 04/06/2014 21:34:44 »
I asked a local chap if the long mound of earth obscured the view from the town square.
He replied "Oh yes, der ridge able to block any such vista."






« Last Edit: 05/06/2014 02:56:25 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3820 on: 04/06/2014 21:49:17 »
I refer you to the GRAPH ZEPpo LINed his pockets with, which he later hid beHIND AN iceBERG.



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3821 on: 05/06/2014 02:32:30 »

Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.

"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?

You can always try lo Gic or reason if intuition and emotions don't work.

Besides, last time I tried lo G it sounded too Guttural.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3822 on: 05/06/2014 02:53:58 »

June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/

Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3823 on: 05/06/2014 08:40:43 »

June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/

Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.

I'm always more than willing to give aid to a pu
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3824 on: 05/06/2014 12:23:03 »


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3825 on: 09/06/2014 10:24:55 »
Me??? Shame??? Oh no, there's nun here.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3826 on: 10/06/2014 02:46:13 »

June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/

Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.

I'm always more than willing to give aid to a pu


Me??? Shame??? Oh no, there's nun here.

Good for you, Don_1, shame can become a bad habit.

My 3rd cousin's (twice removed) long lost sister -- Sally Field (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hua7m6wQuw) -- flies into a shaming fit until she unveils the unsuspecting listener's real motives (usually sinful!).

Be compassionate: Sally grew up cloistered.





« Last Edit: 10/06/2014 04:30:06 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3827 on: 10/06/2014 10:37:25 »
Yet anmother superior post from the father of the punning thread.

All you novices take good note or Demo will make monkies of you all.

Now then, ATTEN-SHUN, QUIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIICK MARCH, left, right, left, right, left, right ABBOT TURN!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3828 on: 10/06/2014 19:31:44 »


"All ye novices: listen to Don_1 or you will ALL
go to...














hell!"


« Last Edit: 10/06/2014 23:42:59 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3829 on: 10/06/2014 23:51:54 »
As you can see, Demo is not one to simply infer, no, he gets straight down to the nitty gritty.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3830 on: 12/06/2014 02:06:06 »

Looming inferno?? Satan?? Pitchforks??

Oh, hell, then why Dante we do something about it??

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3831 on: 12/06/2014 08:59:05 »
............ why Dante we do something about it??


I passed on your suggestion to the Mrs. But she said we could never win the battle. So I'm afraid we will loose if 'er indoors says so.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3832 on: 12/06/2014 09:03:51 »
I see the problems in Iraq are returning. Will there ever be a solution for that dam nation?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3833 on: 12/06/2014 09:12:48 »
I firmly believe that the first life forms to evolve mouth parts appeared on Earth during the Pliocene. I refer to this period as the Epoch 'o lips.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3834 on: 12/06/2014 19:32:51 »
I see the problems in Iraq are returning. Will there ever be a solution for that dam nation?

Do you mean THIS Eye-rack?





« Last Edit: 12/06/2014 19:51:34 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3835 on: 12/06/2014 19:36:56 »
I firmly believe that the first life forms to evolve mouth parts appeared on Earth during the Pliocene. I refer to this period as the Epoch 'o lips.

In that case, Armageddon my facts straight.

Thanks, Don_1, what would we do without your infernal precision?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3836 on: 12/06/2014 23:09:45 »
............ why Dante we do something about it??


I passed on your suggestion to the Mrs. But she said we could never win the battle. So I'm afraid we will loose if 'er indoors says so.

I agree with Mrs. Don_1: we would have a devil of a time even trying to prepare for battle!

« Last Edit: 13/06/2014 07:16:47 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3837 on: 13/06/2014 01:07:22 »


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3838 on: 13/06/2014 07:14:03 »

As you can see, Demo is not one to simply infer, no, he gets straight down to the nitty gritty.

I confess to the truth of the above statement.
Signed,

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3839 on: 24/06/2014 09:18:30 »
Most plants reproduce by means of seeds, however, in fern only the ancient system of spores are used.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3840 on: 24/06/2014 09:46:58 »
Signed,

By chance celery use the seed method.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3841 on: 24/06/2014 09:58:58 »
Dateline June 24, 2014
Today is National Pralines Day

Originally created in France the praline got its name from French soldier and sugar industrialist, Marshal du Plessis-Praslin, who's cook who invented it.
Pralines evolved when French settlers brought the recipe to Louisiana where chefs in New Orleans eventually substituted pecans for almonds and added cream.

Today they come in many flavours and are soooooooo yummy, it's no wonder they have their own day.
Happy National Pralines Day!

Its also International Fairy Day. I shall say no more.
« Last Edit: 24/06/2014 10:01:49 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3842 on: 24/06/2014 19:21:27 »
Dateline June 24, 2014
Today is National Pralines Day


I pray as well to be lean one day. Diet! Diet! Diet!


« Last Edit: 05/07/2014 03:10:44 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3843 on: 24/06/2014 19:36:50 »
Signed,

By chance celery use the seed method.

Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3844 on: 05/07/2014 15:56:41 »
"Oh grow up!" said the gardener to her little sprouts.  "And stop doing weed! Must tardiness be part of the schedule?  If you don't squash that habit, I'll have to beet you!" 
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3845 on: 06/07/2014 02:42:44 »

"Oh grow up!" said the gardener to her little sprouts.  "And stop doing weed! Must tardiness be part of the schedule?  If you don't squash that habit, I'll have to beet you!" 


Donnah wins this Award for Outstanding Gardening Punning!


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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3846 on: 08/07/2014 21:32:12 »
Lettuce all take a bough.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3847 on: 09/07/2014 01:03:09 »
« Last Edit: 09/07/2014 02:54:35 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3848 on: 12/07/2014 23:25:18 »
Looks like a ghoulish wave!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3849 on: 14/07/2014 07:08:57 »


Looks like a ghoulish wave!


Goulash?

Yes, I do prefer that to steak.