Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4000 on: 06/09/2014 13:25:30 »
And in NV, a new motoring organisation has said neva da cars on city roads should exceed 25mph.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4001 on: 06/09/2014 20:30:42 »


Did Juneau that? Well al ask er what its all about.


Young people need an anchor in life that goes deeper than just age and good looks.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4002 on: 06/09/2014 20:34:06 »
What's new about Mexico these days?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4003 on: 06/09/2014 20:39:11 »
Did you hear about the Italian Supervisor Harry's new zone-a rules-a?

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4004 on: 06/09/2014 20:46:35 »
Don_1 sees Demo on the street and says, "O hi, don't I know you from somewhere?"



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4005 on: 06/09/2014 20:52:22 »
Writing with a broken pencil is vain and pointless, ya know?

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4006 on: 06/09/2014 20:56:44 »
Did you hear that Anna rhode to an exotic island and took her chemistry set with her?

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4007 on: 06/09/2014 23:33:22 »

Can't think of any more Texan puns for now.




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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4008 on: 07/09/2014 18:18:57 »
And in NV, a new motoring organisation has said neva da cars on city roads should exceed 25mph.






"Don_1 is soooo funny"





« Last Edit: 07/09/2014 21:48:38 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4009 on: 08/09/2014 02:33:59 »


The cleaners had not done a very good job on my trousers nor the hat & da kot a had entrusted to them. I took it all back to them to point out their failings. "Just look" I said, "at bis marck here!"





« Last Edit: 08/09/2014 02:49:17 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4010 on: 15/09/2014 07:33:16 »
"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star.  She replied "I da ho."
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4011 on: 16/09/2014 11:35:06 »
"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star.  She replied "I da ho."

That's a gem, stone me if it ain't.

She was da ho alright, she's after all the boise

Mind you, that movie star she was tagging along with was a real burley character.
« Last Edit: 16/09/2014 11:36:47 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4012 on: 17/09/2014 20:23:16 »
"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star.  She replied "I da ho."


"I da ho"     "No I da ho!"        "No I da ho!"

Edit: Not everyone agrees that Idaho potatoes are superior!

Snobbery?



« Last Edit: 18/09/2014 04:17:04 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4013 on: 18/09/2014 20:56:12 »
No, I da hoe.

No, I da hoe.


Can't we share?

OK, we'll go Dutch.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4014 on: 19/09/2014 04:12:48 »
So who da hoe??????????????

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4015 on: 19/09/2014 07:53:29 »
So who da hoe??????????????

Weheeel *HIC* I da ho. ***HIC***

EEEeeeny whay, Ho chars eeeny whay ***HIC***

[attachment=19131]
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4016 on: 19/09/2014 07:57:38 »
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4017 on: 19/09/2014 17:36:12 »
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.

Norway that could ever happen!

The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!


« Last Edit: 20/09/2014 02:49:47 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4018 on: 19/09/2014 17:51:37 »
So who da hoe??????????????

Weheeel *HIC* I da ho. ***HIC***

EEEeeeny whay, Ho chars eeeny whay ***HIC***

[attachment=19131]

I hope you fired the floor refinishers.

They simply could not hold their lacquer.


« Last Edit: 19/09/2014 17:53:58 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4019 on: 20/09/2014 05:44:07 »


Ho no ! It's too early for Christmas!!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4020 on: 20/09/2014 08:43:01 »
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.

Norway that could ever happen!

The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!




Could that be? Did I miss the landing?

I shall have to scan d neighvours
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4021 on: 20/09/2014 08:46:04 »

I hope you fired the floor refinishers.

They simply could not hold their lacquer.


Not only that, but they couldn't do the job. They just kept on whining.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4022 on: 20/09/2014 09:00:47 »


Ho no ! It's too early for Christmas!!

Wow! What a stocking filler........ and a bra filler....... and a hot pants filler.......

Calm down lad, before you make a fool of yourself.

If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4023 on: 21/09/2014 13:48:43 »
Are you trying to say that she's one real hot potato from Idaho?

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4024 on: 22/09/2014 03:00:03 »
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.

Norway that could ever happen!

The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!




Could that be? Did I miss the landing?

I shall have to scan d neighvours

US = scan d neighvors

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4025 on: 22/09/2014 09:49:35 »
I am much indebted to my American translator.

Just to put a spanner in the works however:-

Welsh - Cymdogion
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4026 on: 22/09/2014 16:29:29 »
I am much indebted to my American translator.

Just to put a spanner in the works however:-

Welsh - Cymdogion


Well, she bugs you all the time, but Anna really does care for you.


« Last Edit: 22/09/2014 16:33:44 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4027 on: 23/09/2014 08:43:28 »
Well, she bugs you all the time,

Indeed and she wails at the top of her voice, "What are we going to do?"

My usual reply is "When I come, ah then you'll find out."

The usual thing is we sing:

One man gwent to mow,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
One man two men and his dog,
Gwent to mow a meadow.


Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffrynt.
« Last Edit: 23/09/2014 08:51:07 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4028 on: 23/09/2014 08:58:33 »
Ah yes, Carmarthen, the place to take your horse for Caer fy rddin (care free ridding)

If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4029 on: 23/09/2014 09:04:06 »
Now that's a rare bit of Welsh punning.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4030 on: 23/09/2014 17:09:36 »
Well, she bugs you all the time,
Ah yes, Carmarthen, the place to take your horse for Caer fy rddin (care free ridding)



Indeed and she wails at the top of her voice, "What are we going to do?"

My usual reply is "When I come, ah then you'll find out."

The usual thing is we sing:

One man gwent to mow,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
One man two men and his dog,
Gwent to mow a meadow.


Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffrynt.
Now that's a rare bit of Welsh punning.

Don_1 Wins Award Again !!



« Last Edit: 23/09/2014 17:36:03 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4031 on: 23/09/2014 17:10:28 »

Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4032 on: 23/09/2014 17:41:59 »
...........and to move north of the border:-



Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???


What a jockular comment.

I rish you all the best in your multilingual punning.

When it comes down to it, Demo is ger man for it, I tal ia.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4033 on: 23/09/2014 17:46:42 »

Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffrynt.




Dyffryn Gardens


« Last Edit: 23/09/2014 17:48:38 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4034 on: 23/09/2014 17:50:52 »
Swimming on the river, the pair looked so hungry I threw some bread in for the por two geese.

Not wishing to be wasteful, when I had finished my beer, I licked en stein to ensure it was empty.

These eastern Europeans are so mad about boating, I think they are suffering from row mania.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4035 on: 23/09/2014 17:54:20 »

Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffrynt.




Dyffryn Gardens




No, no, those are the same gardens.

These are dyffryn gardens:

Chelsea Gardens.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4036 on: 23/09/2014 18:08:37 »


Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???


What a jockular comment.

I rish you all the best in your multilingual punning.

When it comes down to it, Demo is ger man for it, I tal ia.

And on the Eastern front, korreact me if I'm wrong but Europe-UK-US-Canada is not as ianclusive as it can be.

« Last Edit: 23/09/2014 18:12:44 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4037 on: 23/09/2014 20:24:50 »
And are we afraid we cannot do as well with all other countries?

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4038 on: 24/09/2014 04:37:15 »

Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffrynt.




Dyffryn Gardens




No, no, those are the same gardens.

These are dyffryn gardens:

Chelsea Gardens.

Gorgeous, beautiful -- the Chelsea Gardens!!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4039 on: 24/09/2014 05:52:05 »
Sudanly I find myself all over the map. I must get better organized.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4040 on: 24/09/2014 07:36:39 »
Swimming on the river, the pair looked so hungry I threw some bread in for the por two geese.

The nearrow spain of the river gave you the flexibility to do that. Well done.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4041 on: 24/09/2014 07:47:21 »
When I answered the phone, a foreign voice started blabbing on about my bank account being suspended and I needed to give him my account number and security details.
"Oh no you don't," I said, "this is just another attempt at a con, go away."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4042 on: 24/09/2014 07:52:29 »
A local garage has been advertising its auto conversion service, converting petrol engines to run on propane.

Personally I find the whole idea ludicrous. Its just mad a gas car.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4043 on: 24/09/2014 08:05:25 »
Listening to the radio, I heard a beautiful piece played by a string section and wondered what that tune is.


Outside a London pub, a German tourist asked me where he could get an ice cold cola. "Zay charge a vortune fur ein coola in zat platz." He quite rightly said. I directed him to small shop around the corner. As he came back clutching his ice cold can of cola, he said to me, "Zank you. it vos musch cheaper zere zan zi bar."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4044 on: 24/09/2014 08:12:56 »
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4045 on: 24/09/2014 08:28:36 »
Storks on a lush African savannah have been troubled by the rapid rate of grass growth. The seed sticks to the thin layer of keratin which covers the bill and germinates. A lawn on their rostrum is the last thing a stork wants.

So I am volunteering to go to the aid of these birds. My task will be to mow zam beaks. 


Now that's what you call contrived punning.
« Last Edit: 24/09/2014 08:30:20 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4046 on: 24/09/2014 08:47:02 »
Hi tech machines making microchips have gone on strike. They have blockaded the factory gates carrying banners, one of which read "Robots wana better deal."

As I sympathise with them, I'm Ghana join them. Kenya spare the time to come along too?

Their main complaint is the lack of tea breaks, but I'm sure there are Mauritius to be dealt with.

A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."

Reports claim that som a li a victims of persecution and told not to go to the toilet without permission. One witness said "I sen a gal bolt down a robot as a punishment. u ganda believe me."
« Last Edit: 24/09/2014 09:08:45 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4047 on: 24/09/2014 09:11:26 »
Now try that old tongue twister:

She sells Seychelles on the sea shore.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4048 on: 25/09/2014 01:34:57 »
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.

U ganda have a more specific plan !!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4049 on: 25/09/2014 05:57:08 »
Kenya try to figure it out so Donnah and I can follow your plan and make mauritain ia ever dreamed of ?

« Last Edit: 25/09/2014 06:00:15 by demografx »