Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4250 on: 15/01/2015 07:05:29 »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4251 on: 15/01/2015 11:33:49 »
A little lamb came home from school one day. "Bahhhh." He said to his Mummy. She replied "Oink."
This confused the lamb who barracked her, "Oh bah Ma!"
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4252 on: 15/01/2015 17:15:40 »
Don_1
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Is this "Evil" plus 6?????

Or "Evil Extended"???



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4253 on: 16/01/2015 04:22:12 »
Today is National Dress Up your Pet Day.

If it needs sedating first, try this stuff ...

[attachment=19421]
http://www.petco.com/product/6213/Good-Dog-Pet-Calming-Supplement.aspx

Rumour has it that it's about 13% alcohol [!] ...


Good-Dog hangover the next day?



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4254 on: 16/01/2015 08:39:25 »
:
[attachment=19423]

[attachment=19425]
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4255 on: 16/01/2015 08:41:07 »
Don_1
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Is this "Evil" plus 6?????

Or "Evil Extended"???




Devil with a stutter?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4256 on: 16/01/2015 09:02:58 »
Is it any coincidence that 'evil' is 'live' spelled backwards & 'devil' is 'lived' spelled backwards?

What's more, 'Beelzebub' spelled backwards is 'bubezleeb'!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4257 on: 16/01/2015 16:22:09 »
Don_1
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Is this "Evil" plus 6?????

Or "Evil Extended"???




Devil with a stutter?


"We at Anti-Gareth Gates have unearthed some alarming facts about the stuttering Pop Idol known as Gareth Gates which could very well prove that he is none other than Satan, Old Nick, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Prince of Darkness, The Lord of the Flies!

Yes, we think Gareth Gates is the earthly incarnation of the Devil himself !! After all, how else could he brainwash thousands of innocent children into voting for a stuttering little retard unless they were under some sort of evil Wicca spell !"



http://www.angelfire.com/in4/antigarethgates/the_black_thistle.htm
« Last Edit: 16/01/2015 16:32:13 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4258 on: 16/01/2015 16:26:50 »
Is it any coincidence that 'evil' is 'live' spelled backwards & 'devil' is 'lived' spelled backwards?

What's more, 'Beelzebub' spelled backwards is 'bubezleeb'!

Don_1 spelled backwards is 1_Nod




« Last Edit: 16/01/2015 16:38:00 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4259 on: 16/01/2015 16:48:52 »
:
[attachment=19423]

[attachment=19425]


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4260 on: 20/01/2015 13:21:03 »
Do horses eat a stable diet?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4261 on: 20/01/2015 13:25:22 »
I'm looking for a case to keep my documents in, what would you recommend?
Attaché .
Bless you.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4262 on: 21/01/2015 07:10:10 »

Do horses eat a stable diet?


Young horses need a stable environment where they are free to foal up and be reined in before they come to serious harm.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4263 on: 21/01/2015 07:17:05 »
I'm looking for a case to keep my documents in, what would you recommend?
Attaché .
Bless you.

I prefer a meatier case to keep my documents in.


Gesundheit!

« Last Edit: 23/01/2015 13:17:56 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4264 on: 21/01/2015 16:33:32 »
I prefer a meatier case to keep my documents in.


I see you're bac on line again Demo.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4265 on: 21/01/2015 16:41:59 »
I saw a case like that in a pawn shop, somebody must have had to put in hock for a few shillings.

Wanting to know who had to chop it in, I decided to steak out the pawn shop.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4266 on: 22/01/2015 07:11:41 »
I saw a case like that in a pawn shop, somebody must have had to put in hock for a few shillings.

Wanting to know who had to chop it in, I decided to steak out the pawn shop.

Do you have a beef with the pawn shop? They're just middlemen -- not the ribs of the deal.

Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4267 on: 22/01/2015 07:17:09 »

I see you're bac on line again Demo.


Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4268 on: 22/01/2015 09:53:43 »

I see you're bac on line again Demo.


Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊

Unsmoked bacon for you now, is it?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4269 on: 22/01/2015 10:11:32 »

Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.


It did saddle me with a whole load of trouble. I had to trott eround the corner to answer the call of nature. A police officer pulled me up and asked "Hoof you just pee'd up the wall?"
"Yes" I admitted, "but cher have to go when yer have to go."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4270 on: 22/01/2015 20:28:48 »

I see you're bac on line again Demo.


Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊
Unsmoked bacon for you now, is it?

Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.


It did saddle me with a whole load of trouble. I had to trott eround the corner to answer the call of nature. A police officer pulled me up and asked "Hoof you just pee'd up the wall?"
"Yes" I admitted, "but cher have to go when yer have to go."


_TWO_ BUTCHER AWARDS FOR DON_1!!!

« Last Edit: 22/01/2015 20:32:56 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4271 on: 23/01/2015 13:08:38 »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4272 on: 27/01/2015 09:31:36 »
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include having a wee dram, playing the pan pipes, recitals from Richard 3rd and playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.

I shall be playing the sneezing game with a friend. We have toIlet each other do ah tissue in turn.
When its my turn he must keep quite and when its is tern I have to keep quite.

You really don't want to know how pooh bear celebrates.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4273 on: 27/01/2015 20:26:33 »
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include having a wee dram, playing the pan pipes, recitals from Richard 3rd and playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.

I shall be playing the sneezing game with a friend. We have toIlet each other do ah tissue in turn.
When its my turn he must keep quite and when its is tern I have to keep quite.

You really don't want to know how pooh bear celebrates.

After the lawyer flushed the toilet, it went to the suer.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4274 on: 27/01/2015 20:38:13 »
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4275 on: 29/01/2015 09:34:38 »
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.




Wow!!!

What a royal flush!

In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.


Lets just hope nothing snaps off!
« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 09:40:25 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4276 on: 29/01/2015 10:07:16 »
Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.

Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off.
« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 10:09:56 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4277 on: 29/01/2015 12:25:11 »
Today, the 29th of January, is

Curmudgeons Day.


What do you call it when a bad-tempered old baker goes bankrupt?

A curmudgeonly crumble.


« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 12:28:55 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4278 on: 29/01/2015 12:47:51 »
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.





Wow!!!

What a royal flush!

In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.


Lets just hope nothing snaps off!




I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.

As you can plainly see, there's a warning:
CLIP 'ER OFF!!

« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 17:51:37 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4279 on: 29/01/2015 13:06:32 »

I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.

As you can plainly see, there's a warning:


When you've got to go, you've got to go, and I had drunk an awful lot of fruit deuce!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4280 on: 29/01/2015 13:25:53 »
Whatever you're drinking make sure you eat enough espresso coffee beans to counter any deleterious effect!!




« Last Edit: 06/03/2015 01:53:25 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4281 on: 30/01/2015 11:39:56 »
Is this what they mean by a
[attachment=19451]
Club sandwich?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4282 on: 30/01/2015 12:00:55 »
Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4283 on: 31/01/2015 16:03:28 »

Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?


'Pun' backwards is nup. And a nup is a nup is a nup.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4284 on: 31/01/2015 16:22:34 »
Is this what they mean by a
[attachment=19451]

Club sandwich?


Your club sandwich is MUCH better than hers!


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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4285 on: 10/02/2015 13:05:09 »
I propose we all toast the club sandwich.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4286 on: 12/02/2015 11:21:47 »
Its International Darwin Day today.

Yes, celebrating the great man himself, Charles Robert Darwin, born 12th Feb 1809 in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, England.

On 27th Dec 1831, he set sail on HMS Beagle. A voyage that would result in the greatest change to our understanding of life on Earth for ever after. On the 24th Nov 1859 he published his book "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life."

Many flinched at what he had written, but he taught us how evolution works. Today we might think of it as a gal app a'cos of its blunt contradiction of previous beliefs, but we now know that Charles was dar winner in the end.

Ig wanna just say a big 'thank you' to Darwin. When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, his is the natural selection.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4287 on: 17/02/2015 14:25:41 »

When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, [Darwin's] is the natural selection.


Since you know that I'm a sharp musician, Don_1...well, its just not natural to be that way, is it? 

Am I flat out wrong?



« Last Edit: 18/02/2015 00:03:45 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4288 on: 17/02/2015 14:43:34 »

I propose we all toast the club sandwich.




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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4289 on: 17/02/2015 23:58:10 »
Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.

Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off.





« Last Edit: 18/02/2015 00:01:45 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4290 on: 18/02/2015 00:10:01 »

I propose we all toast the club sandwich.


And for you and Mrs. Don_1: belated Valentine's Day toast!



« Last Edit: 06/03/2015 01:36:53 by demografx »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4291 on: 02/03/2015 14:39:39 »

I'd like one or two of those.



You can add this as one of a few to your collection.





If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4292 on: 02/03/2015 23:16:14 »
Found a kangaroo. It had a broken leg...so I took it to the hopital.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4293 on: 06/03/2015 01:48:43 »




You can add this as one of a few to your collection.




Future door for my collection. Thank you!




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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4294 on: 11/03/2015 11:41:26 »
I think that's adoorable.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4295 on: 11/03/2015 11:44:21 »
Just one point, why did he open the door, then walk away?

Oi you! Come back and shut the door. Were you born in a barn or something like that?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4296 on: 11/03/2015 11:46:14 »
If a door remains unused, is it doormant?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4297 on: 11/03/2015 11:48:09 »
In Spanish, would the way into paradise be Eldoorado?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4298 on: 11/03/2015 11:55:56 »
I took the bedroom door off its hinges and laid it on the bed. The wife thought it was some new type of eidoordown.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4299 on: 13/05/2015 15:36:34 »
I showed this to the Mrs.

"Where did you get that from?" She enquired

I told her I had borrowed it from Bert.

"You couldn't have," she said, "Bert is off touring in his camper at the moment, as you should well know."

"Well," I retorted, "I'm sure I borrowed it from Bert, or was it Harry?"

"Harry has a Volkswagen." She said "This is a Hymer."

"Hmmm, then who did I borrow it from?" I quizzed.

The wife said "You must have borrowed it from Alan."

I said, "You mean........"

"Yes," she replied, "you've got Al's Hymer."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.