Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4350 on: 01/12/2015 20:45:47 »



Are you finished in there yet???

u huru up will you PLEEEEZE

I *am*




ing!

Well, three cheers for that!

Hip hip hurry, hip hip hurry, hip hip.... too late!

I guess that was The Last Hurrah!


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4351 on: 01/12/2015 20:54:41 »
Did you spock the pun in my last post?
Indeed I did, but I would have preferred, to have seen him, kick it to the kirk, rather then the drain....!



Good one, Karen!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4352 on: 01/12/2015 23:50:03 »

I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard tired of hear herring...


Sorry, Don_1, old chap, but one good turn edit deserves another...

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4353 on: 02/12/2015 03:18:21 »
A graphic clarification, if I am permitted...

It was a clear, cloudless winter's day in London town, yet people in the street were getting wet. The Vicar dashed into the office block and up the stairs onto the roof. There he found one of his parishioners relieving himself over the parapet.
"What are you doing?" he screamed.
"I am doing exactly as you said." Replied the man.
"No, no," said the Vicar, "what I said was peace on all men."

                                              edit: add-on gif



« Last Edit: 02/12/2015 04:24:47 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4354 on: 02/12/2015 11:16:37 »

...... one good 'ed 'it deserves another...

That's what I call good 'ed 'itting.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4355 on: 02/12/2015 11:40:49 »

I guess that was The Last Hurrah!


🎼Hurrah you with last night,
    Under the pale moonlight.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4356 on: 02/12/2015 11:43:05 »


Look's like you've been sold a pup.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4357 on: 02/12/2015 19:17:35 »

Look's like you've been sold a pup.


soda pop?

Yes, it's sodalicious!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4358 on: 02/12/2015 19:32:54 »

...... one good 'ed 'it deserves another...

That's what I call good 'ed 'itting.


Did you hear about the guy who got 'it in the 'ed with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4359 on: 02/12/2015 19:44:58 »

I guess that was The Last Hurrah!


🎼Hurrah you with last night,
    Under the pale moonlight.


🎼When Johnny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah...



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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4360 on: 03/12/2015 12:17:37 »

Look's like you've been sold a pup.


soda pop?

Yes, it's sodalicious!


So da gloves are off are they?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4361 on: 03/12/2015 12:39:04 »

🎼When Johnny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah...


Would an equivalent British lyric be

🎼When Tommy comes marching home again huzzah huzzah

???

What song might this be?
[diagram=762_0]
Yankee Doodle.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4362 on: 04/12/2015 01:22:02 »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4363 on: 04/12/2015 01:32:10 »

Look's like you've been sold a pup.


soda pop?

Yes, it's sodalicious!


So da gloves are off are they?





« Last Edit: 04/12/2015 01:58:29 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4364 on: 04/12/2015 08:16:25 »




Two of them seem to be able to talk 'hands free'. With somewhat more modestly covered bosoms, which did not cause distraction for the judges, they received their MENSA scores' on time, but the one in the middle seems to have had hers delayed. One can only say that due to her chest, IQ late.

I think she just washed her hands and is trying to flick the water off and scored a direct hit in the other blonde's eye.

I've been sitting here watching her for 10 minutes now waiting for something to pop out, but no such luck, so I suppose you can't knock her sense of dress.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4365 on: 04/12/2015 08:22:39 »
Today is National Cookie day.

Doesn't that just take the biscuit.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4366 on: 04/12/2015 22:42:47 »


...they received their MENSA scores' on time...


Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4367 on: 04/12/2015 22:44:09 »
Today is National Cookie day.

Doesn't that just take the biscuit.

If a dog biscuit, please use collie flour.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4368 on: 05/12/2015 17:12:29 »
Today is National Cookie day.

Doesn't that just take the biscuit.

If a dog biscuit, please use collie flour.

Would you feed these to all the lads & Lassies?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4369 on: 05/12/2015 17:29:53 »


...they received their MENSA scores' on time...


Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.


WHOA! Steady on there Demo, I would strongly advise you not to tamper on this subject for fear of a feminist backlash such as:

"MEN! Oh pause your sexist comments."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4370 on: 05/12/2015 18:06:04 »


...they received their MENSA scores' on time...


Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.


WHOA! Steady on there Demo, I would strongly advise you not to tamper on this subject for fear of a feminist backlash such as:

"MEN! Oh pause your sexist comments."

Yes, I agree.

The femmes insist on it.

Thank you for the heads up, my pauseture will be different from this moment on!



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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4371 on: 05/12/2015 23:57:05 »

 pauseture


Speaking of pauseture, if a dog made a ceramic model of the famous tower in Pisa, might it be known as paws a lean?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4372 on: 06/12/2015 11:16:20 »
Only to the females.  The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4373 on: 06/12/2015 19:56:52 »

Only to the females.  The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.





pees borrowed without Don_1's permission



« Last Edit: 06/12/2015 22:21:40 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4374 on: 08/12/2015 23:26:25 »
Wow, she's strong!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4375 on: 09/12/2015 16:13:28 »
Only to the females.  The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.

[attachment=20603]
« Last Edit: 09/12/2015 16:22:01 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4376 on: 09/12/2015 16:15:52 »
Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4377 on: 09/12/2015 21:28:55 »

Wow, she's strong!


I'm strong, too.

See my finger directly below:









« Last Edit: 10/12/2015 00:03:03 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4378 on: 10/12/2015 01:29:20 »

Wow, she's strong!


I'm strong, too.

See my finger directly below:



I'm sure I've seen that appendage before somewhere, but where? I just cant put my finger on it.

If I knuckle down and keep thinking on it, I'm sure to nail it sooner or later.

I don't want to palm you off with a guess.

You know how you sometimes know something, but it just wont come to mind, so its on your mind for the wrist of the day.

Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.
« Last Edit: 10/12/2015 01:37:06 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4379 on: 10/12/2015 01:53:25 »
Dec was standing under a lamp post on the corner of 42nd and Lexington. There was a loud screech of brakes. A car pals up and a voice from the back seat says, "Get in decs. 'That voice rings a bell.' Dec thought. He recognised it from his days in the army.
"I never bow down to anyone." Dec said.
"So I heard." Said the voice from the back of the car.
Then another voice, backed up with a hand gun said "'El bow to you Boss."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4380 on: 10/12/2015 04:54:56 »

Wow, she's strong!


I'm strong, too.

See my finger directly below:



I'm sure I've seen that appendage before somewhere, but where? I just cant put my finger on it.

If I knuckle down and keep thinking on it, I'm sure to nail it sooner or later...




You certainly
« Last Edit: 10/12/2015 05:22:53 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4381 on: 10/12/2015 05:35:06 »

Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4382 on: 12/12/2015 00:31:15 »
Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.


Does she smell like the ocean?

Maybe something fishy is up!

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4383 on: 13/12/2015 01:29:31 »

Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.




Oh buoy!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4384 on: 13/12/2015 01:44:41 »
Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.


Does she smell like the ocean?

Maybe something fishy is up!

"Ha Doc, tell me now, and don't skate around the issue, what do I smell of?"

"Och aye now ma sweet bonny lass, ya dinna smell like some ol' trout, if that's what you're thinking."

"What d' ya mean by that Doc?"

"Och ta puss it another way, lassie, you smell like a ray of sunshine to me."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4385 on: 13/12/2015 21:04:12 »

Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.


Does she smell like the ocean?

Maybe something fishy is up!

"Ha Doc, tell me now, and don't skate around the issue, what do I smell of?"

"Och aye now ma sweet bonny lass, ya dinna smell like some ol' trout, if that's what you're thinking."

"What d' ya mean by that Doc?"

"Och ta puss it another way, lassie, you smell like a ray of sunshine to me."

"I smelt it Doc. Let's not have a roe over it."

"Why are your hands so clammy?"

"Oy, don't staere at me like that!"

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"







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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4386 on: 14/12/2015 11:31:03 »

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"


You may be having a whale of a time with your razor sharp wit and your cwrasse comments, but Sea you Lassie, you'll no want ta be making anemone of me. So stop this clowning around, pay your bill, which is sick squid, and be away with you now.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4387 on: 15/12/2015 01:02:44 »

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"


You may be having a whale of a time...


No I'm not...for what porpoise?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4388 on: 15/12/2015 03:47:54 »

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4389 on: 15/12/2015 10:43:49 »

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"


You may be having a whale of a time...


No I'm not...for what porpoise?


Maybe it is just because you are a Man at ees with your lot and cuttle the fish into goujons rather than flounder with the gutting knife and sea horsemeat on the table, rather than les fruits de mare.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4390 on: 15/12/2015 10:48:59 »


I have a poorpoise, my poise is always empty!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4391 on: 21/12/2015 04:28:48 »


...cuttle the fish into goujons...


Hmmmmm. Seems more like chicken







fingers









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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4392 on: 23/12/2015 20:00:16 »



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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4393 on: 24/12/2015 01:25:42 »
Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4394 on: 24/12/2015 01:27:20 »
I see the sea is low, it must be the Yule tide.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4395 on: 24/12/2015 01:33:01 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4397 on: 24/12/2015 22:38:13 »

Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?


No, Don_1, I'll just be logging in to this punning thread!

Isn't that logical?


« Last Edit: 01/01/2016 04:01:50 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4398 on: 25/12/2015 17:46:36 »
Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?

I see the sea is low, it must be the Yule tide.



Yes...Yule be surprised to hear: Don_1 racks up yet another Award!


« Last Edit: 25/12/2015 17:56:01 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4399 on: 01/01/2016 04:00:08 »