Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #550 on: 10/09/2010 20:27:11 »
There is education in the USA???????

I thought that it all consisted of blonde bimbo's worrying over the state of hair, and jocks with the same preoccupation. Add in a few capable of walking and chewing gum, and there you had it.

At least here the teachers are on strike, the pupils are on holiday, the few who want to study are doing so, and the department of education has still not sent out the curriculum for this year - they are looking for a cleft stick of correct dimensions, as well as the right kind of post stone.


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #551 on: 15/09/2010 06:09:18 »

He said I was average - but he was just being mean.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #552 on: 15/09/2010 06:58:31 »
The local landowner, Edmondo Finknottle Snodgass Marjoribanks (pronounced Chumley), or "Stinky" to his pals, and his gamekeeper were out hiking around their extensive policies, which were so vast that they had to use a map. It was getting a bit late, and the landowner decided they better head back to the manor house for some crumpet. The game keeper consulted the map and pointed out two ways they could take.

The landowner looked at the two paths and said "I think we better take the second one. We really don't want to find ourselves caught on the first."

To which the gamekeeper said,

"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"
« Last Edit: 15/09/2010 18:50:55 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #553 on: 16/09/2010 01:11:07 »



To which the gamekeeper said,

"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"


Squire Ed replied to the gamekeeper (whose friends call him "RMS") that the magnitude of the first route means it might take forever to get back to the manor in time for crumpet.


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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #554 on: 16/09/2010 04:28:11 »
Johnny's mother was admonishing him, yet again, for bolting his food.

"Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. Do not swallow your meat until it's been amply chewed!"

There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #555 on: 16/09/2010 06:26:58 »

Johnny's problem is not only with his food being amply chewed, but the frequency with which this happens!

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #556 on: 16/09/2010 17:54:24 »
If he keeps it up, he's going to get smacked where it really hertz.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #557 on: 16/09/2010 22:34:59 »
Johnny's mom is called Maude, so he's going to get maudulated.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #558 on: 16/09/2010 23:21:41 »

Johnny is certainly a generator of all sorts of trouble!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #559 on: 17/09/2010 03:31:16 »
              

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #560 on: 17/09/2010 04:03:04 »
My pub has one of these hanging above the door.

[diagram=601_0]


It's a bar sign.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #561 on: 17/09/2010 16:42:11 »


As due diligence, I followed up and checked on your bar sign, Geezer, and I only saw one over the men's room urinal:

We Aim To Please
You Aim Too, Please


So now I will check out The Pistol Dawn Bar
(Drink till 3, pistol dawn)


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #562 on: 17/09/2010 16:49:52 »

My greatest sphere is that the Earth is round.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #563 on: 18/09/2010 00:52:57 »
Hyspherical!
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #564 on: 18/09/2010 19:45:49 »

Now is not the time for hyspheria.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #565 on: 19/09/2010 05:54:43 »
Great! So now you've gone all botanical on us.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #566 on: 20/09/2010 04:59:35 »


That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! [;D]

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #567 on: 20/09/2010 10:30:43 »
Oh! Very fauny.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #568 on: 20/09/2010 23:15:41 »


How did the botanist, after dealing with fertilizer, clean her hands?

She had a manure-cure


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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #569 on: 21/09/2010 00:41:17 »
Now you've gong and dung it.
« Last Edit: 21/09/2010 04:12:02 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #570 on: 21/09/2010 05:59:30 »

OK, but don't get pissed over it.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #571 on: 21/09/2010 06:22:47 »


That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! [;D]



Oh! Very fauny.


           [;D]



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #572 on: 21/09/2010 17:41:46 »


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division.

« Last Edit: 21/09/2010 21:34:05 by demografx »

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #573 on: 21/09/2010 20:29:45 »



There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline peppercorn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #574 on: 21/09/2010 20:55:43 »
I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #575 on: 21/09/2010 21:35:26 »


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Witch?

« Last Edit: 21/09/2010 21:42:45 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #576 on: 21/09/2010 21:49:16 »

I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !




...and after a few.......even mistakes mult   i   ply!

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #577 on: 21/09/2010 23:36:05 »


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Witch?



Actually, I'm more of a whizzard.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #578 on: 22/09/2010 01:50:50 »



There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Dispelling of miths is important to me.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #579 on: 22/09/2010 01:55:57 »


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Witch?



Actually, I'm more of a whizzard.


Of Ozz, apparentlee.


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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #580 on: 22/09/2010 08:36:17 »
Witches? Wizards? Its all a load of Warlocks.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #581 on: 22/09/2010 15:10:22 »



Don, let's thank Geezer for getting us these souvenir tee-shirts from his last vacation!

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #582 on: 22/09/2010 16:31:12 »
The tee shirts were OK, but obviously the 'Ladies' were a ruff load of old dogs!

That Geezer must be barking!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #583 on: 22/09/2010 20:19:27 »

Yes, and up the wrong tree!

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #584 on: 23/09/2010 05:54:37 »
The tee shirts were OK, but obviously the 'Ladies' were a ruff load of old dogs!

That Geezer must be barking!

No, but close - the Isle of Dogs.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #585 on: 23/09/2010 08:52:32 »


Can ine give Sir a little pleasure?

[attachment=12959]

If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #586 on: 23/09/2010 18:04:22 »
What's wrong Geezer? Have you had to paws for thought?

If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #587 on: 23/09/2010 20:27:25 »

Don, I think he's just catching his breath, he's had breeding problems.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #588 on: 23/09/2010 20:33:43 »


Doggone it, now I can't find my glasses....

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #589 on: 23/09/2010 21:37:15 »
I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #590 on: 24/09/2010 04:12:16 »


Can ine give Sir a little pleasure?

[attachment=12959]



Geezer, you lucky dog, you! <wink>

« Last Edit: 24/09/2010 19:57:40 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #591 on: 24/09/2010 10:09:01 »
I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.

That's a tale I'd rather forget.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #592 on: 24/09/2010 19:10:51 »

I'm lost. Has this place gone to the dogs?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #593 on: 24/09/2010 19:12:28 »

Did you hear about the insomniac who is also dyslexic and agnostic?

Stays up all night wondering whether there really is a Dog.


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #594 on: 24/09/2010 19:56:23 »



I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.


mod edit:
That's a tale tail I'd rather forget.




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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #595 on: 24/09/2010 22:09:39 »
Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #596 on: 27/09/2010 00:15:22 »

Stumped, Geezer...

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #597 on: 27/09/2010 00:46:28 »

Stumped, Geezer...


More likely stunned I'd think. This thread is turning into a proper shambles.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #598 on: 27/09/2010 07:44:07 »
or maybe people are just too knackered to post.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #599 on: 27/09/2010 16:38:13 »



Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!


Geezer, what I meant was that I was stumped by your punning meaning directly above - ("Abattoir and 3-D").