Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #750 on: 12/11/2010 21:43:59 »

I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #751 on: 13/11/2010 00:52:08 »

Just like an old boxer, it can make you punchy.


After punching his computer and breaking his hand, the guy required tech knuckle support.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #752 on: 13/11/2010 12:01:43 »

I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!

Phuuuuuuweeee, well done Geezer, did you give it an injection to save it from disappearing down the Black Hole of Calcutta?

Could be said to be a Punjab
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #753 on: 13/11/2010 19:43:21 »

I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!

Phuuuuuuweeee, well done Geezer, did you give it an injection to save it from disappearing down the Black Hole of Calcutta?

Could be said to be a Punjab

Well, we didn't want to upset the punters.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #754 on: 13/11/2010 22:24:09 »


I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!


Don't you guys realize that every time you re-quote me it becomes more and more an embarrassment of kitsches?

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #755 on: 14/11/2010 01:11:49 »


I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!


Don't you guys realize that every time you re-quote me it becomes more and more an embarrassment of kitsches?

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think all our groupies buggered off long ago, unless you include JimBob of course.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #756 on: 14/11/2010 01:24:18 »

I don't think JimBob's feeling too hot these days : - (

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #757 on: 14/11/2010 02:03:31 »

Besides, what about our 10 million readers?

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #758 on: 14/11/2010 06:29:20 »
Immobility gets you nowhere. [;D]
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #759 on: 14/11/2010 06:47:22 »
What did the nice girl say when her date invited her home to see his stamp collection? 'Philately will get you nowhere'.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #760 on: 14/11/2010 10:59:08 »
RIGHT!!!!

THATS'S IT......

I'm not going to be licked by that last post.

Rather fitting for today.

Going off for the minute.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #761 on: 14/11/2010 11:15:48 »
The Queen lay in her bed one night and turned on her side. She pulled the duvet right up so that only her head could be seen and said, "Look Philip, I'm a stamp."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #762 on: 14/11/2010 16:40:58 »
In The Naked Scientists' forum
I tried to be punny for 'em
But limericks reign
In my little brain
So can we make a limmerick quorum?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #763 on: 14/11/2010 17:37:18 »
Donnah, you're a poet!

But do you know et?
« Last Edit: 14/11/2010 17:42:22 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #764 on: 14/11/2010 17:41:41 »
The Queen lay in her bed one night and turned on her side. She pulled the duvet right up so that only her head could be seen and said, "Look Philip, I'm a stamp."

But I thought Philip was at a listed forum that night?
« Last Edit: 14/11/2010 17:54:07 by demografx »

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #765 on: 14/11/2010 18:28:32 »
Yes, but it was a live forum.  He was drinking and got obnoxious when a lady wanted to leave and he wouldn't letter.  He's not much of a fighter though, so he got licked when someone pasted him.

Maybe he should have had some of that tech knuckle support you talked about, demografx.
« Last Edit: 14/11/2010 18:30:17 by Donnah »
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #766 on: 15/11/2010 01:15:13 »

Wow, Donnah, I am mightily impressed with your punifical talents! You're teaching me that a pun is its own reword!

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #767 on: 16/11/2010 01:56:40 »
It's so much pun playing with words and you always get to be write!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #768 on: 16/11/2010 03:50:15 »

Yes, but if you write bad things about me I am libel to sue you.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #769 on: 16/11/2010 05:33:19 »
In The Naked Scientists' forum
I tried to be punny for 'em
But limericks reign
In my little brain
So can we make a limmerick quorum?

We could, but I can only ever remember the first line. For example there was;

A gal from Devizes
A policeman from Clapham Junction
A bishop from Birmingham

Unfortunately (er, well, maybe fortunately) that's all I'm able to remember.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #770 on: 16/11/2010 11:48:07 »
There was a young man from Nepal,
Who had one short and long ...........


Oh yes! I see what you mean Geezer!

The language can get a bit fruity, perhaps that's why its called a limerick.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #771 on: 16/11/2010 21:49:42 »

Fruity "one short and long" limerick? Is that like an apple or pear? Or is it that we don't bwannana know?...

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #772 on: 17/11/2010 05:05:17 »
Go with the flow of the current; amp
times voltage that pressures the send
to get watt is right the lamp to light,
thanks, my solar panel of friends.
« Last Edit: 18/11/2010 01:36:17 by Donnah »
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #773 on: 17/11/2010 10:09:19 »
I'm very switched on to eletricity.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #774 on: 17/11/2010 19:00:33 »
At least try to lighten up.

(I wonder if that's what they said to Guy Fawkes?)
« Last Edit: 17/11/2010 19:03:34 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #775 on: 17/11/2010 20:43:32 »

This electric banter gets my juices flowing.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #776 on: 17/11/2010 22:41:35 »

This electric banter gets my juices flowing.

WATT???
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #777 on: 18/11/2010 00:51:24 »

This electric banter gets my juices flowing.


WATT???


Yes, of course! It's...

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #778 on: 18/11/2010 01:40:51 »
Is Watt Works a company name and logo?  From every psychological angle I can think of that name is...brilliant!!!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #779 on: 18/11/2010 02:15:43 »

                             


I can't believe I almost fell for that and started researching the logo. Brilliant indeed!!!

Your puns are illuminating.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #780 on: 18/11/2010 02:23:03 »
And yours are powerfully enlightening! [;D]

I am serious about the logo too.  I did an online search and found wattworks.com in Ohio with some brilliant products.  Check out their magnetic fireplace and window covers. I love their hybrid tricycle too.
« Last Edit: 18/11/2010 15:57:11 by Donnah »
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #781 on: 18/11/2010 17:01:51 »
So I'm not that dumb after all! (ok guys, no commentary! [;D])

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #782 on: 18/11/2010 19:07:03 »
My brother just emailed me the following:

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The  Forest ?
They Take The Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes,  Whack.   "Dang! "
 A Bad Skydiver Goes,  " Dang!"  Whack. 

22. How Are a   Texas  Tornado And a  Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

23. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #783 on: 18/11/2010 20:35:20 »

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.


Amazing! This is my favorite corny joke of all time. Heard it on the radio in '76!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #784 on: 18/11/2010 20:36:56 »

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The  Forest ?

They Take The Psychopath


True. But I'll bet it's not the psychopath of least resistance.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #785 on: 18/11/2010 20:57:08 »

I...found wattworks.com...


The logo actually comes from watt-works.com


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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #786 on: 18/11/2010 21:34:25 »
You'd best go lie down for while Donnah.

After all that punning you'll be sleepun soon.

You really should should have held some in reserve, using so much of your repertoire in one go was a pundamental mistake.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #787 on: 19/11/2010 00:31:25 »

True, Don, but now we're all enriched with a repertoire that's far from puny!

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #788 on: 19/11/2010 03:56:55 »
Aw shucks, no point in holding back, we have a forum of endless punch lines.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #789 on: 19/11/2010 05:53:17 »
It's OK as long as it doesn't result in another Punic War.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #790 on: 19/11/2010 08:06:15 »

Punic War? Why, we shouldn't rome that far from our main purpose.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #791 on: 19/11/2010 09:36:30 »
Indeed so, we should cease 'er and put an end to the war by the time Santa Claus de us the honor of a visit.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #792 on: 19/11/2010 16:47:39 »
Ho ho ho!
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #793 on: 19/11/2010 19:14:17 »
 [;D]

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #794 on: 19/11/2010 22:44:52 »

A gal from Devizes

edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.


A policeman from Clapham Junction

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor


A bishop from Birmingham

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #795 on: 19/11/2010 22:48:35 »


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #796 on: 20/11/2010 04:20:21 »
Well it is a stirring subject.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #797 on: 20/11/2010 07:42:38 »

A gal from Devizes

edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.


A policeman from Clapham Junction

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor


A bishop from Birmingham

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor




I am only able to advise that the organ of the policeman in question had long ceased to function.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #798 on: 20/11/2010 07:49:16 »


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.



Well it is a stirring subject.


Because of the spooning?

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #799 on: 20/11/2010 07:57:09 »

I am only able to advise that the organ of the policeman in question had long ceased to function.


Long? Certainly you must be aware that size is not important.