Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline JimBob

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #900 on: 06/12/2010 23:39:53 »
Was it a hemp cable or an iron cable?
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #901 on: 06/12/2010 23:52:45 »

Isn't it illegal to promote marijuana via cable?

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #902 on: 07/12/2010 00:29:24 »
Only if it's mariwanika.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #903 on: 07/12/2010 11:28:33 »
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher off that ambassador!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #904 on: 07/12/2010 11:40:57 »
Let's all thank Geezer for his oh-so-generous gesture of paying for _all_ our travel, hotel and ANY miscellaneous expenses (e.g., lavish presents for the special someones) to Tahiti this December, 2010 for The Annual Punning Thread Conference! (He said invite friends and family, too, including mistresses/lovers...even kids' friends and their parents!! It's all on him!! Unlimited, really!)

Hurrah, Geezer!!


Three chairs for Geezer, he'll need to sit down when he gets the bill.

I'm all packed and ready to go, just waiting for the 1st class flight tickets to arrive in the post from the great Geezer.

While I wait, are there any good golf courses there? If so I'll practice my swing. I want to hit the ball squarely, not ta hit tee
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #905 on: 07/12/2010 16:17:05 »
Don, that's the spirit! Just think, at first, Geezer wanted to save money by having us all travel to Tahiti on a flying carpet. That would have been much too rugged an experience!
« Last Edit: 07/12/2010 17:39:27 by demografx »

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #906 on: 07/12/2010 17:30:13 »

........ on a flying carpet.............

On a flying carpet? Tuft, tuft, tuft, the very idea. Besides, I tend to wilt on such means of transport.

Where's the TNS Minister of Transport? I don't wish to pile it on, but was he aware of this? He must do his job properly, otherwise he'll be made redundant in the ensuing cut backs? ......................... Axe Minister now............................
« Last Edit: 07/12/2010 17:31:53 by Don_1 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #907 on: 07/12/2010 17:37:51 »

TNS Minister of Transport? Excellent idea, Don, he was formerly in charge of transporting salt. That's how he became a mover and shaker!

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #908 on: 07/12/2010 17:53:37 »
All became rather embarrassing really, that's why he had to locked in the cellar.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #909 on: 07/12/2010 17:59:53 »
Speaking of transport to Tahiti, I hear that you no longer will get transported to Australia if you are a criminal in the UK, at least if you are Julian Assange!

Now that is a pun, even though it is true.

Now, locked in the cellar, was he there because he celled out, or was it because he had a poor cell reception?

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #910 on: 07/12/2010 19:39:04 »
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher off that ambassador!
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher off that ambassador!

Right pal! Square go ootside! I'll teach you to call me a cheap 'bassadord.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #911 on: 07/12/2010 23:43:44 »
Speaking of transport to Tahiti, I hear that you no longer will get transported to Australia if you are a criminal in the UK, at least if you are Julian Assange!

I'm trying to figure out why he doesn't just paint a target on his forehead with a big arrow pointing at it that says "Shoot Here". Surely that would be a lot quicker than going through all this palaver?
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #912 on: 08/12/2010 01:09:13 »

All became rather embarrassing really, that's why he had to locked in the cellar.


You must be talking about C4M aka Chem. At first I thought he might be a spy working from his basement bed, undercover and underground, but now you've got me wondering if he's really an author who writes from his basement and has a best cellar.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #913 on: 08/12/2010 08:44:20 »
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher off that ambassador!
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher off that ambassador!

Right pal! Square go ootside! I'll teach you to call me a cheap 'bassadord.

Is there an echo around here?
there an echo around here?
an echo around here?
echo around here?
around here?
here?


See yoo Jummy, stitch this
Oh I say! Why you bounder & cad sir, take that!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #914 on: 08/12/2010 08:54:25 »
......an author who writes from his basement and has a best cellar.


Available from Waterstones, WH Smith, Amazon and author good book cellers.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #915 on: 08/12/2010 19:11:45 »

Is there an echo around here?
there an echo around here?
an echo around here?
echo around here?
around here?
here?


I will echo the thoughts of the medical community that an echocardiogram does not reveal the artery blockages that led to my 5-way bypass last December (ouch to the memory!).


Available from Waterstones, WH Smith, Amazon and author good book cellers.


 [;D] [;D] [;D]
« Last Edit: 08/12/2010 20:22:52 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #916 on: 08/12/2010 19:20:22 »

Now, locked in the cellar, was he there because he celled out, or was it because he had a poor cell reception?


Not sure, but I do know that in jail convicts use cell phones.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #917 on: 08/12/2010 19:25:43 »
Important news about texting!


The IRS (HMRC in UK) left a message on my cell phone that I owed them more money. It was a taxed message.


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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #918 on: 08/12/2010 23:52:50 »
Interesting, I had the same incomeing message

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #919 on: 09/12/2010 03:57:43 »
 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #920 on: 09/12/2010 05:26:42 »

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #921 on: 09/12/2010 05:52:47 »
Sheesh Demo! I was trying to keep it as a surprise. OK, enough already! This is where we're staying.

http://www.tahitiinn.com/
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #922 on: 09/12/2010 09:08:53 »
... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.

If it has an elevated Michelin stared restaurant, it will still be a nice soup rise.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline yor_on

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« Reply #923 on: 09/12/2010 11:40:43 »
Shouldn't that read 'Planck Place'?
"BOMB DISPOSAL EXPERT. If you see me running, try to keep up."

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Offline yor_on

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« Reply #924 on: 09/12/2010 16:43:20 »
Planck Palace?
"BOMB DISPOSAL EXPERT. If you see me running, try to keep up."

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #925 on: 09/12/2010 16:48:07 »
I may be as thick as two short planks, but I have not got those tickets yet, have checked downstairs a few times, nutting new down there, just the same old stuff as before. Though, having looked at the website, I am a little wary of the rooms there, the beds look a little hard and lumpy, and there were no sheets visible.


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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #926 on: 09/12/2010 17:27:04 »
There's another Pack Place in Bastin, Massachusetts. They tried to call it Park Place, but they eventually had to give up.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #927 on: 09/12/2010 18:09:24 »

Shouldn't that read 'Planck Place'?


Yes, yor_on, you're right, here it is!
http://tcande.blogspot.com

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #928 on: 09/12/2010 18:25:53 »






Adding to the shame of it all, here, from Scottish WikiLeaks is a certified stolen photo of Geezer's plan for our "wondrous sightseeing tour". Sigh.

Geezer can be seen above (only partially, mostly his bare feet) in the first doorway on your left, relaxing as he waits for the corrupt "Sightseeing Manager" to negotiate a swindle of a deal. Each of us would have certainly had to pay some "tax".



Geezer's nightclubbing plans for all of us!!!
« Last Edit: 10/12/2010 01:46:06 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #929 on: 09/12/2010 18:37:42 »

There's another Pack Place in Bastin, Massachusetts. They tried to call it Park Place, but they eventually had to give up.


 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #930 on: 09/12/2010 18:43:12 »

I may be as thick as two short planks, but I have not got those tickets yet, have checked downstairs a few times, nutting new down there, just the same old stuff as before. Though, having looked at the website, I am a little wary of the rooms there, the beds look a little hard and lumpy, and there were no sheets visible.




Sean, you are hereby awarded this Medal for your fine whistleblower post! Justice has now been served.

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #931 on: 09/12/2010 19:03:03 »
And I still can'y get money from Mc and V - something about not sending via Western Union to Africa, as it is a scam! How else am I supposed to help that poor relative who has so much money tied up in an account, but who cannot get it out without help, and is willing to give me a 40% share for assistance in doing so.

Getting very good nw, I think the writer is now in high school, or at least is not watching American television exclusively.


BTW Demo, I thank you for the medal, as soon as I figure out how to print screen to metal I will wear it with pride.


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Offline demografx

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« Reply #932 on: 09/12/2010 19:16:48 »

No, no, no, Sean, look for the Print Medal key!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #933 on: 09/12/2010 19:19:31 »

And I still can't get money from Mc and V - something about not sending via Western Union to Africa, as it is a scam! How else am I supposed to help that poor relative who has so much money tied up in an account, but who cannot get it out without help, and is willing to give me a 40% share for assistance in doing so.

Getting very good nw, I think the writer is now in high school, or at least is not watching American television exclusively.


Sean, there are great tips here that should help!
http://j-walk.com/other/conf/

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #934 on: 10/12/2010 09:38:01 »
The local timber yard advertises 7 metre floor boards available. Does this constitue a max plank?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #935 on: 10/12/2010 16:24:50 »

That local timber yard manager made a huge mistake in that advertisement. I hope his boss doesn't make him walk the plank!

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #936 on: 10/12/2010 16:53:35 »
demo, is that one next to the "any" key?


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Offline demografx

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« Reply #937 on: 10/12/2010 18:18:12 »

Yes, to the left. Or is it the right? No wait, it's above. No...perhaps it's below. Hmmmmmmm....

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #938 on: 10/12/2010 18:23:40 »
It is situated between Key West and Big Coppit Key, about 400 yards NNW of Naval Air Station Key West key.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #939 on: 10/12/2010 18:30:24 »
I still do not know where it is.

Perhaps I need a new keyboard, like the ones from www.usbtypewriter.com as an example.

I think it may be a good idea, as it will give a record of all keystrokes, a mechanical keylogger, what a good idea.



On the other hand, what did the fish say when he swam into the wall?




























DAM!




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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #940 on: 10/12/2010 19:47:25 »
My keyboard doesn't have an "Any Key" which can be bloody annoying at times, let me tell you!

Piece of crap, friggin imported junk, who's running the place
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #941 on: 11/12/2010 00:13:37 »


Attention all young, hotshot know-it-alls: just remember, next time you send an email that instantly goes round the world, and you cc: or bcc: someone? It originated as "carbon copy", or "blind carbon copy"...nyah, nyah!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #942 on: 11/12/2010 00:16:35 »

Key West key.


Isn't that repetitively redundant?

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #943 on: 11/12/2010 00:40:17 »
What's the symbol for blind carbon? There can be no C.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #944 on: 11/12/2010 00:49:06 »

... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.

If it has an elevated Michelin stared restaurant, it will still be a nice soup rise.


True, Don, but if you eat soup that's nine days old you will get bad broth.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #945 on: 11/12/2010 00:56:52 »

What's the symbol for blind carbon? There can be no C.





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Offline demografx

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« Reply #946 on: 11/12/2010 07:07:49 »


The shame never ends. The website declares, "Closed For The 2010 Season"! Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!
http://www.tahitiinn.com/

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #947 on: 11/12/2010 07:11:15 »
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #948 on: 11/12/2010 07:41:05 »
[Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!

Perhaps not, be he sure made off with a lot of people's money.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #949 on: 11/12/2010 07:41:46 »

At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?
« Last Edit: 11/12/2010 07:44:16 by Chemistry4me »