Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #950 on: 11/12/2010 20:49:09 »

At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?

Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #951 on: 11/12/2010 20:56:43 »

At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?

Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.

Just like the sheep owner who sold his flock for too little was told: 'ewe were fleeced.'

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #952 on: 12/12/2010 00:35:45 »

Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!


Perhaps not, be he sure made off with a lot of people's money.


Right, Geezer, and that reminds me that when Peter Pan spoke to Captain Hook he made an off-hand comment

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #953 on: 12/12/2010 01:50:25 »
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #954 on: 12/12/2010 12:16:57 »
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?

I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #955 on: 12/12/2010 18:42:08 »
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?

I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.

Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.


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Offline demografx

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« Reply #957 on: 12/12/2010 22:37:03 »

Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?


I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.


                      contribed!    [;D]

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #958 on: 12/12/2010 23:59:32 »

Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?


I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.


Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.


Wouldn't they all get eaten alive by those dandy lions???

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #959 on: 13/12/2010 02:49:12 »

Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?


I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.


Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.


Wouldn't they all get eaten alive by those dandy lions???

See, that's exactlty what they were afraid of. So, to summon help from a neighboring tribe, they bunched together and started yelling in unison,

"We're the Flockawie! We're the Flockawie!"
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #960 on: 13/12/2010 04:11:50 »
Now that's some shear determination...
Please continewe...
« Last Edit: 13/12/2010 04:14:59 by Chemistry4me »

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #961 on: 13/12/2010 08:36:16 »
I think he's just trying to pull the wool over our eyes.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #962 on: 13/12/2010 17:14:44 »
I think he is spinning another yarn myself.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #963 on: 13/12/2010 19:14:34 »
Well, there really isn't any more to say, unless you say it quickly ten times.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #964 on: 14/12/2010 01:50:27 »
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #965 on: 14/12/2010 06:38:34 »
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?

So, basically, you didn't get it. Sheesh!

I suppose that's what happens when you hang out with a bunch of wannabee long horns.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #966 on: 14/12/2010 10:55:50 »
Oh no, is this
long horns.
a cue for another round of bovine puns?

We'll have the TNS Pun Squad after us with their water cannons, then they'll angus out to dry.

Perhaps we should move toward the seasonal puns now, I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #967 on: 14/12/2010 12:58:40 »
long horns.
How much ram does your computer have?

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #968 on: 14/12/2010 18:17:31 »
I agree, there's some ramming going on here  [;D]

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #969 on: 14/12/2010 19:59:48 »

I think he's just trying to pull the wool over our eyes.


I think he is spinning another yarn myself.


More like a yawn, if you ask me. [;D]

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #970 on: 14/12/2010 20:13:04 »
How much ram does your computer have?

I'm not sure, but my ram has several computers.

[attachment=13572]
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #971 on: 14/12/2010 22:44:29 »

Oh no, is this
long horns.


a cue for another round of bovine puns?

We'll have the TNS Pun Squad after us with their water cannons, then they'll angus out to dry.


Don, if you have a beef with the TNS Pun Squad, you can't just stew about it, you have to bring it up to the steering committee.

You cannon do it any other way!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #972 on: 14/12/2010 22:45:44 »

I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."


Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #973 on: 15/12/2010 00:56:12 »
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.
« Last Edit: 15/12/2010 01:40:11 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #974 on: 15/12/2010 02:29:16 »
OK which one?

1. Heifer definition, a young cow over one year old that has not produced a calf.

2. In the slang, when someone uses the word "heifer", they are usually referring to an overweight woman.


Oh, pardon me! I thought this was the punning thread.

(None of the above.)

EDIT: I suppose that's not strictly correct. Either would be appropriate, but you have to get the pronunciation right.
« Last Edit: 15/12/2010 02:37:02 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #975 on: 15/12/2010 03:05:10 »

Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?


After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #976 on: 15/12/2010 03:10:40 »

Now that's some shear determination...
Please continewe...


The optometrist moonlighted as a jazz musician so he could continewe to improve-eyes.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #977 on: 15/12/2010 10:34:33 »

I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."


Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.


Sorry to rake up this post again, but I think it proves that demo speaks with forked tongue.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #978 on: 15/12/2010 10:38:13 »

Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?


After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.

His wife tried to keep him busy around the house. "Come on man, no good doing nothing, get the work done, chop chop."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #979 on: 15/12/2010 17:11:29 »

I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."


Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.


Sorry to rake up this post again, but I think it proves that demo speaks with forked tongue.


Oh no, I forked up again? That's like a knife through my heart!!

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #980 on: 15/12/2010 17:49:22 »

Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?


After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.

His wife tried to keep him busy around the house. "Come on man, no good doing nothing, get the work done, chop chop."

And there's mutton he can do about that nagging? He'll probably flock to the nearest tavern.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #981 on: 16/12/2010 14:55:24 »
And upon his return to home he'll just get another lambasting.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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« Reply #982 on: 16/12/2010 17:45:18 »
Merry Chistmas and Happy Newe Year to all the sheople of the world.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #983 on: 16/12/2010 21:15:09 »
Yes, Donnah, and let's not forget the Jeweish celebration of Hannukah.

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« Reply #984 on: 16/12/2010 23:46:29 »

And upon his return to home he'll just get another lambasting.


Hopefully, after that, they'll kiss and make up and maybe she'll make him his favorite shepherd's pie again.

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« Reply #985 on: 17/12/2010 00:02:02 »

Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.


Similar thing happened to me a heifer dozen times!

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #986 on: 17/12/2010 05:14:34 »
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.

Similar thing happened to me a heifer dozen times!


You should give the man a prize for being out standing in his field  [;D] [;D]

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #987 on: 17/12/2010 05:26:25 »

You should give the man a prize for being out standing in his field  [;D] [;D]




OK, Chem, but you'll haveta remove it and give it to her him!         <<<<<edit

(You too can be a standout!)
« Last Edit: 17/12/2010 07:35:06 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #988 on: 17/12/2010 05:44:35 »


At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?


Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.


Is that near New Lambshire?

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #989 on: 17/12/2010 05:49:07 »
You certainly know how to milk them puns demografx, it's udderly amazing

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #990 on: 17/12/2010 05:53:43 »
Is that near New Lambshire?

No. I Think you are confusing it with Newe Hempshire. It's the one slightly to the left of here.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #991 on: 17/12/2010 07:26:55 »

To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!

« Last Edit: 17/12/2010 07:31:50 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #992 on: 17/12/2010 07:29:05 »

You certainly know how to milk them puns demografx, it's udderly amazing


Why, thank you, Chem! I try to give it a fair shake.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #993 on: 17/12/2010 10:13:38 »

Sheikh Yamani

At this time of year, I've no mani left to sheikh, its all gone on Xmas prezzies.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #994 on: 17/12/2010 18:08:04 »

To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!


New Hempshire is more potlitical.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #995 on: 18/12/2010 17:41:56 »

To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!


New Hempshire is more potlitical.


Is that why Mary Kay doesn't wanna pursue business there?

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #996 on: 19/12/2010 05:36:37 »


Sheikh Yamani

At this time of year, I've no mani left to sheikh, its all gone on Xmas prezzies.


But, Don, if you know just a little about music, you don't need mani to teach the children to play Haydn Sheik.


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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #997 on: 19/12/2010 20:01:40 »
Oh 'El, garantee you'll not be doing any more composer puns.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #998 on: 19/12/2010 20:22:59 »

You have my word, Don!!

Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #999 on: 20/12/2010 05:00:16 »

Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.


Don,

Pay no attention. My colleague means no harm. He's obviously slightly Brahms'd.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.