and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …

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Offline RD

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« Last Edit: 21/07/2010 02:38:32 by RD »

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Offline Bored chemist

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #1 on: 21/07/2010 11:46:06 »
Little pigeon
flying by,
dropped a "message"
from the sky.
Oh! said the farmer,
wiping his eye,
"I ain't half glad
that cows can't fly.
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Offline neilep

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #2 on: 21/07/2010 12:56:44 »
Sheepy fly
For summer south
Did a poo
In farmers mouth
Message received
In farmers belly
Regurgitatal
Sheepy jelly !    [;D]


Now That's Kwality Poemage !!




[attachment=12466]



Men are the same as women, just inside out !

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Offline LeeE

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #3 on: 21/07/2010 16:52:21 »
The last verse of "A Christmas Carol" by Tom Lehrer goes:

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend kris kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.
...And its claws are as big as cups, and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps! And Mrs Doyle was telling me it's got magnets on its tail, so if you're made out of metal it can attach itself to you! And instead of a mouth it's got four arses!

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Offline RD

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #4 on: 22/07/2010 00:17:25 »
« Last Edit: 22/07/2010 00:29:11 by RD »

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Offline tommya300

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #5 on: 22/07/2010 03:42:18 »
Faster than a speeding bullet, more stink powerful then a locamotive, leaps tall buildings in a simle bound, Oh look it's a bird, it's a plane, noooo^ it is the new/old symbol for the Flying "A" petro. 

[attachment=12474]
[attachment=12476]
« Last Edit: 22/07/2010 04:25:45 by tommya300 »

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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #6 on: 22/07/2010 05:11:43 »
Annotated
[attachment=12477]
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline RD

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #7 on: 22/07/2010 05:33:30 »
[attachment=12479]

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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #8 on: 22/07/2010 06:02:06 »
or
[attachment=12481]
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Bored chemist

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #9 on: 22/07/2010 14:21:06 »
As far as I can tell, the animal in the wrong place in that picture is the one who needs a boat.
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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #10 on: 22/07/2010 17:36:37 »
or
[attachment=12487]
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Make it Lady

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #11 on: 22/07/2010 18:17:10 »
That donkey pooed on my mum once. She said "Quick get some toilet roll."
"Don't be daft," I replied "That donkey will be miles away by now."
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Make it Lady

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #12 on: 23/07/2010 18:29:58 »
I hear the SUN newspaper have rescued said donkey from further humiliating stunts. Isn't it time the SUN stopped showing topless women on page three before they start thinking about animal rights!?
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #13 on: 23/07/2010 19:25:39 »
I hear the SUN newspaper have rescued said donkey from further humiliating stunts. Isn't it time the SUN stopped showing topless women on page three before they start thinking about animal rights!?

Yeah! Parasailing topless women would be much better than donkeys. I will immediately pen a letter to the SUN's editor (assuming it actually has one) in support of your noble cause.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline SeanB

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #14 on: 23/07/2010 19:48:33 »
The donkey has been hired as the new editor, apparently because it is a high flyer, yet knows what a great piece of ass looks like............











At least it is better than if elephants fly.....

« Last Edit: 23/07/2010 19:54:38 by SeanB »

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #15 on: 24/07/2010 16:34:52 »
I hear the SUN newspaper have rescued said donkey from further humiliating stunts. Isn't it time the SUN stopped showing topless women on page three before they start thinking about animal rights!?

Perhaps, but the women on page 3 get a choice- the donkey didn't.
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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #16 on: 24/07/2010 20:11:12 »
The person that did this to the poor donkey....'E ought to know better. EEEEOR to know better, get it?
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Make it Lady

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #17 on: 24/07/2010 20:12:59 »
Twas only joking about the page three thing. You boys are so gullible. I like to ogle norks with the best of them.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #18 on: 24/07/2010 21:11:44 »
I must say I'm a bit disappointed by the lack of reaction to my Norwegian joke.

Probably rather too subtle for you lot.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Variola

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #19 on: 24/07/2010 21:16:42 »
I must say I'm a bit disappointed by the lack of reaction to my Norwegian joke.

Probably rather too subtle for you lot.

No I got it, very good :)
  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #20 on: 24/07/2010 21:27:54 »
I must say I'm a bit disappointed by the lack of reaction to my Norwegian joke.

Probably rather too subtle for you lot.

No I got it, very good :)

Thanks! At least somebody got it  [;D]
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Make it Lady

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #21 on: 24/07/2010 21:44:12 »
I wish I got it
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #22 on: 24/07/2010 21:47:21 »
Would somebody explain it to MIL.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Variola

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #23 on: 24/07/2010 21:55:14 »
Norwegian flag looks like this


http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/xmas/calendar/flags/NorwegianFlag.jpg

So not dissimilar to the lifebelt.

Norway is infamous for whaling.

Cetacean is a whale.


I love MIL  [:D]


  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline Make it Lady

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #24 on: 24/07/2010 22:01:02 »
It is still not funny but then nothing funny has come out of Norway, except for their Eurovision entries.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #25 on: 24/07/2010 22:09:43 »
It is still not funny but then nothing funny has come out of Norway, except for their Eurovision entries.

Ah! You must be missing the satire gene then. Were your ancestors German by any chance?
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Variola

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« Reply #26 on: 24/07/2010 22:17:18 »
I guess the idea of a whale attacking a whaling ship appealed to my warped humor  [:)]
  A potty-mouthed, impertinent female who thinks she is God's gift to men" -JimBob

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Offline RD

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #27 on: 26/07/2010 03:17:21 »
first a parachuting donkey now a cat ...

[attachment=12498]

http://www.eclectech.co.uk/petitchaton.php  Very Eurovision [:)]

{Earworm alert}
« Last Edit: 26/07/2010 03:39:38 by Geezer »

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #28 on: 26/07/2010 03:45:56 »
Excellent RD!

(I made a minor tweak to make the URL more visible. It was "Awa tae the side, like Gourock")

How strange is that! My cousin had cat that had highly asymmetrical markings on its face, so he called it Gourock! 
« Last Edit: 26/07/2010 03:49:52 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline RD

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #29 on: 26/07/2010 04:12:33 »
The parachuting-cat animator caters for the Scottish market too ...

[attachment=12500]

http://www.eclectech.co.uk/animations.php

Well from that image Dounreay anyway.  [:)]
« Last Edit: 26/07/2010 04:50:53 by RD »

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #30 on: 26/07/2010 04:48:13 »
That one's "awa tae the side" too!

Ye need tae shove a carriage return between the pictur and the ural.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline RD

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #31 on: 26/07/2010 04:55:19 »
That one's "awa tae the side" too!

Ye need tae shove a carriage return between the pictur and the ural.

I've inserted the blank line as you requested, but the URL was directly under the image on FireFox (my usual browser), but appears different on IE ...

[attachment=12502]

No blank line between bottom edge of image and URL on IE, (so blame uncle bill for the wonky URLs).
« Last Edit: 26/07/2010 05:16:47 by RD »

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #32 on: 26/07/2010 05:09:51 »
That one's "awa tae the side" too!

Ye need tae shove a carriage return between the pictur and the ural.

The URL was directly under the image on FireFox, but not IE.


Could be a bug in FireFox. An image is just another symbol. There's no reason to force a line-end after any symbol unless you run out of space. IE still has the space, so it puts the URL to the right of the image symbol.


EDIT: It's probably best to treat an image as a discrete paragraph.
« Last Edit: 26/07/2010 05:22:53 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Make it Lady

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #33 on: 26/07/2010 16:54:26 »
I don't have german ancestors. My parents were from whales!
It is still not funny but then nothing funny has come out of Norway, except for their Eurovision entries.

Ah! You must be missing the satire gene then. Were your ancestors German by any chance?
I love setting jokes up like that!
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #34 on: 26/07/2010 22:12:23 »
That one's "awa tae the side" too!

Ye need tae shove a carriage return between the pictur and the ural.

I've inserted the blank line as you requested, but the URL was directly under the image on FireFox (my usual browser), but appears different on IE ...

[attachment=12502]

No blank line between bottom edge of image and URL on IE, (so blame uncle bill for the wonky URLs).

When I viewed it (on IE8) I think the URL was to the right of the image as if the image and the URL were on the same line of text. My window is quite wide, so perhaps they were on the same line and IE8 saw no reason to word wrap the URL to the next line. If I had shrunk my window width it might have put the URL beneath the image.

Maybe that's got something to do with it?
 
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline RD

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #35 on: 27/07/2010 02:37:17 »
When I viewed it (on IE8) I think the URL was to the right of the image as if the image and the URL were on the same line of text. My window is quite wide, so perhaps they were on the same line and IE8 saw no reason to word wrap the URL to the next line. If I had shrunk my window width it might have put the URL beneath the image.

Maybe that's got something to do with it?

 

Window width (and character size) would be factors determining whether the URL was on the side or the next line,
however FireFox and IE do seem to display the URL differently even on wide windows ...

[attachment=12506]

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Offline Geezer

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #36 on: 27/07/2010 02:46:54 »
Window width (and character size) would be factors determining whether the URL was on the side or the next line,
however FireFox and IE do seem to display the URL differently even on wide windows ...


I don't doubt it! No doubt each will say the other is wrong  [:D]

I think what I saw looked like the upper example. Is that IE8?
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline RD

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and you thought being hit with seagull muck was bad …
« Reply #37 on: 27/07/2010 02:56:00 »
Window width (and character size) would be factors determining whether the URL was on the side or the next line,
however FireFox and IE do seem to display the URL differently even on wide windows ...


I don't doubt it! No doubt each will say the other is wrong  [:D]

I think what I saw looked like the upper example. Is that IE8?

Top image is IE8, bottom is the latest FireFox.

BTW just saw video of Moby giving the yacht a hammering ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-mDvabQRlc
« Last Edit: 27/07/2010 02:57:51 by RD »

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #38 on: 27/07/2010 03:12:46 »
I wondered if the first shot of the whale coming up might have been photoshopped, although I did look very convincing. The video proves it certainly was not.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.