How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?

  • 24 Replies
  • 8921 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31660
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« on: 30/10/2010 07:12:37 »
Whats a good Stiff drink?..........Embalming fluid!...LOL...

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #1 on: 30/10/2010 15:33:06 »
I don't understand this 'trick or treat' business that's been imported into the UK from the US, seems most unfair to me.

A young lad knocked on the door. Upon opening it, the lad said "Trick or treat".

I held out my hand and said "Treat please".

He threw a rotten egg at me. Just as well I didn't ask for a trick!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #2 on: 30/10/2010 15:36:24 »
It was getting late and I had just got ready for bed when there was a knock on the door.

I openned the door in my pyjamas.

(I'll let someone else deliver the punch line...)
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #3 on: 30/10/2010 17:03:21 »

When Don opened the door, there was no-one there, but there was a snail on the welcome mat (apparently trick-or-treating).

Frustrated, Don picked up the snail and hurled it into the street.

Five more Halloweens go by, and there’s another knock at the door. Don answers it, and again there’s no one standing there, but there’s a snail on the welcome mat.

The snail looks up and says, “What the hell was that all about?”
« Last Edit: 31/10/2010 04:04:40 by demografx »

*

Offline Bored chemist

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8739
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #4 on: 30/10/2010 17:16:29 »
It was getting late and I had just got ready for bed when there was a knock on the door.

I openned the door in my pyjamas.

(I'll let someone else deliver the punch line...)
I didn't know you could get pyjamas with a door in them.
Please disregard all previous signatures.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #5 on: 30/10/2010 17:34:54 »


Bored Chemist, only in the US!

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #6 on: 30/10/2010 17:37:04 »
It was getting late and I had just got ready for bed when there was a knock on the door.

I openned the door in my pyjamas.

(I'll let someone else deliver the punch line...)
I didn't know you could get pyjamas with a door in them.

Boom boom!!!

Yata tata tata, yata tata tata tarrrrrrah!

I thank yow ......... (Athur Askey style)
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #7 on: 30/10/2010 17:53:57 »
A ghost walked into a bar and asked for a double brandy, the barman said, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits in here".
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #8 on: 30/10/2010 18:11:53 »
A man with a hunch back and a man with a club foot were walking home from the pub one halloween. They got to the point where they had to go their separate ways. After a while walking on his own, the man with the hunch back heard a 'Psst' from behind the cemetery wall. He looked over the wall to see a goblin.

"Pssst", said the goblin again, "What's that on your back?"

"Its a hunch" the man replied "I've had it since I was born".

The goblin leaped on to the man's back, said "Gimme it" and ran off with the hunch. To his delight and amazement, the man stood up tall and straight. His hunch back was cured. He told his friend of this miracle and suggested he walk by that cemetery next halloween.

After waiting what seemed a very long year, the night came. The friends began their walk home, but this time the man with the club foot went past the cemetery. As he did so, a 'Psst' came from behind the cemetery wall. He looked over the wall to see a goblin.

"Pssst" said the goblin, "What's that on your back?"

"On my back?" Queried the man with the club foot, "Nothing, I have nothing on my back."

The goblin leaped on to the man's back and said "Here, have this hunch".
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #9 on: 31/10/2010 00:50:48 »
I don't understand this 'trick or treat' business that's been imported into the UK from the US,

Er, I think it was imported to the US from the UK first, at least from the top (as in superior) bit of the UK.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force æther.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #10 on: 31/10/2010 01:22:48 »

A ghost walked into a bar and asked for a double brandy, the barman said, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits in here".


Eventually, the ghost and the barman became friendly anyway, and collaborated on haunted stories, but, as you know, one was a ghost writer.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #11 on: 31/10/2010 13:35:00 »
"What do you call male witches?"

"Warlocks."

"No need to be like that just 'cause you don't know the answer."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #12 on: 31/10/2010 13:37:18 »
A skeleton refused to go haunting on halloween. In my opinion, he just didn't have the guts.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Bored chemist

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8739
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #13 on: 31/10/2010 14:50:08 »
What's a skeleton's favourite song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf1AzkE4BDU
Please disregard all previous signatures.

*

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #14 on: 31/10/2010 18:07:00 »
There was the one about the two, er, ghosts that gave each other the willies.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force æther.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #15 on: 31/10/2010 22:44:13 »

A skeleton goes up to the bartender and says, "I'll have 2 beers and a mop."

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #16 on: 01/11/2010 17:39:12 »
Could a grave robber be said to be up to some Skull Duggery?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #17 on: 01/11/2010 17:42:45 »
A young lad turned up at a halloween party with a white sheet covering him.

"Have you come as a ghost?"

"No, I've come as an unmade bed."
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 6890
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #18 on: 01/11/2010 17:50:58 »
Despite my objections to the use of Pumpkins in the UK, since we don't eat them, (what a waste!!!), I was presented with one to make into a halloween thingy.

What do you think?

[attachment=13318]

Should I have worn a mask for this picture?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #19 on: 01/11/2010 21:26:50 »

I'm confused. Why doesn't the pumpkin look frightened??

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #20 on: 01/11/2010 21:27:58 »

Don, your teeth look in excellent shape. No need for a mask.

*

Offline geo driver

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 419
  • if you have a smile, share it
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #21 on: 04/11/2010 03:11:38 »
Whats a banshee's favrot dissert...... I screem
board of ignorance

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31660
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #22 on: 05/11/2010 04:29:22 »
Those are all very good and I thank YOU all for the Smiles and giggles..
It is really nice to see you posting again Geo driver...welcome back.
« Last Edit: 05/11/2010 04:32:32 by Karen W. »

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8197
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #23 on: 05/11/2010 20:57:33 »

And thank YOU Karen, for a fun thread!

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31660
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
How about some funny Halloween Jokes....?
« Reply #24 on: 06/11/2010 15:40:57 »
Thanks for posting and being so nice Demo!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."