Merry bloody Christmas, who are you kidding?

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Offline Don_1

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Merry bloody Christmas, who are you kidding?
« on: 21/12/2010 10:44:08 »
Christmas comes but once a year
And when it does I flinch.
Nowt on the telly so once again
Out comes the tape of The Grinch.

We stuff ourselves from dawn till dusk
With rich and fattening food.
And drink and drink to good health
A contradiction I allude

“We need fresh air and exercise”
Say’s the sporty male of the gender.
And upon returning from his jog
Finds he has a frost bitten member.

The children play with boxes and wrapping
The toys are cast aside.
Granny’s disappointment
She really cannot hide.

“Ungrateful little buggers you
Next year I just won’t bother.
I’ll get a pillow for my weary head
And these spoilt brats to smother”.

Cold turkey, ham, beef and stuffing
Are served for many days.
With salad, chips and curry sauce
How heavy on your tum it weighs.

There’s a rumbling and a gurgling
From stomachs so distended.
And hideous pongs waft around
From farts unintended.

Throw out those sprouts we’ll eat no more
Our olfactory’s just can’t go on.
And my old gas mask is knackered
It needs some nice fresh carbon.

‘So this is Christmas
And what have you done?’
Spent hours in the toilet
Tending my overworked bum.

‘A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year’.
Oh do please excuse me
Back to the bog I fear.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.


Offline Karen W.

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Merry bloody Christmas, who are you kidding?
« Reply #1 on: 27/12/2010 00:00:48 »
LOL...LOL....poor you....LOL..Don oh Don...why oh why do you do these things to yourself...??? Hee hee hee.....that's very funny...

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."