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"If a particle sometimes acts like a wave does that mean it is a wave?"
It really depends on your interpretation of it. Things on a quantum scale behave so much differently than anything we're used to interacting with on a daily basis that our classical descriptions of waves and particles don't really fit. If we try to force them to fit, we find that sometimes the quantum objects act like one, and sometimes they act like the other.My personal view is that it's a bit silly to try to force our classical models onto quantum particles. We should instead be viewing the quantum behavior as fundamental and asking why our classical observations don't look quantum: why do they look like only waves or only particles?
The important thing about thinking about the wave-particle duality in matter is that it is not like light which has a fixed wavelength and frequency when it is stationary. The wavelength of a massive particle is related to its momentum and its frequency to its kinetic energy. This means that both properties depend on the mass of the particle and how it is moving relative to you if the particle is stationary in your frame of reference its wavelength is indefinite and its frequency is zero. This is precisely the opposite of light.