i want marry but she is 16 years older then me

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Offline sajid

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i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« on: 06/09/2006 00:54:42 »
what  i have to do i am worried about this is it right way or i have to leav and searchfor young lady ./ can we live happy for whole life . now she is 46 andi am at 30/

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Offline neilep

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #1 on: 06/09/2006 01:00:21 »
Sajid,

Will she marry you ?..does she love you ?....do you want children ?...does she ?...does she already have children ?


Many things to consider here.....think of the future.....

normally I would say love will find a way...if you truly truly truly love each other then the ' age ' thing probably has little to do with it....

..but the children aspect may be an issue for both of you...have you discussed it ?

If money...children..geography...family ....work...health...are of no worries between you two ...then 'go for it'

GOOD LUCK....let us know what happens.

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
Men are the same as women, just inside out !

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Offline sajid

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #2 on: 06/09/2006 01:55:11 »
yes and thank you but i want for whole liferelationships will it work ?

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Offline neilep

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #3 on: 06/09/2006 02:04:10 »
It will work if you make it work.

marriage is a partnership is it not ?

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Offline Carolyn

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #4 on: 06/09/2006 03:05:31 »
Yes - Neil you are so right.  Marriage is an equal partnership.  100% & 100%.

Carolyn
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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #5 on: 06/09/2006 03:21:22 »
Agreed, Years make no difference ONLY IF TWO people truely love EACH OTHER and their hearts are tied together by love desire friendship passion,,nothing should be able to break that kind of love, nothing!

Karen
« Last Edit: 13/09/2006 02:56:51 by Karen W. »

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #6 on: 06/09/2006 04:49:53 »
Just a whistling here on this thread...pssttttt...don't get married! LOL

"Lo" Loretta
"Just Me, Lo" Loretta

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #7 on: 06/09/2006 07:16:04 »
Who is the lovely women of your dreams SAJID?

Karen

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Offline ukmicky

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #8 on: 06/09/2006 21:28:05 »
No dont do it, dont get married. you wouldnt need to ask anyone for advice if you truely loved and wanted to be with this woman for the rest of your life.

Michael

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #9 on: 07/09/2006 01:02:52 »
I agree with Michael...you have a question and it may not be with her age...

"Lo" Loretta
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Offline Carolyn

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #10 on: 07/09/2006 01:13:19 »
Ditto
Carolyn

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #11 on: 07/09/2006 02:12:25 »
Where does she live?

Karen

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #12 on: 07/09/2006 04:23:52 »
uh, I want to answer this so badly...pick me, pick me!!!  Pick me!!! Please!!!  LOL

"Lo" Loretta
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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #13 on: 07/09/2006 04:35:48 »
Okay LOretta the teacher see's Lorettas hand and calls her next!!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #14 on: 07/09/2006 04:41:05 »
Thanks...okay she lives I just can't do this...feeling onery..but really must behave as I don't wish the ruler to be slapped on my hand...you know I want to say sumpin like cave, zoo, castle of doom, dungeon, hill, okay, I won't...this is multiple choice here...hehe

"Lo" Loretta
"Just Me, Lo" Loretta

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #15 on: 07/09/2006 05:34:27 »
LOL LORETTA< YOU WILL NEVER BE SLAPPED UPON YOUR HAND YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS AND A WONDERFUL FRIEND!!!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #16 on: 07/09/2006 05:50:34 »
Awww, only a beautiful Queen of Mod-ateritory could say that...Just kidding Sajid!  Just having some fun with you!  LOL Karen, I am getting sappy and ooey gooey here...aagghh!

"Lo" Loretta
"Just Me, Lo" Loretta

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #17 on: 07/09/2006 07:18:27 »
LOretta could you check email now for me! important!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #18 on: 07/09/2006 07:38:21 »
I checked it...I agree a journey starts out with one step at a time...

"Lo" Loretta
"Just Me, Lo" Loretta

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #19 on: 07/09/2006 08:23:16 »
Yes it does and one must be sure its the step they want to take! You don't want to do thids twice for sure!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline sajid

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #20 on: 07/09/2006 23:22:38 »
moonfire u r welcome

saaaaaa
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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #21 on: 08/09/2006 00:11:09 »
I won't get burned babe!  LOL

"Lo" Loretta
"Just Me, Lo" Loretta

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #22 on: 08/09/2006 08:17:51 »
Getting to hot in here for me!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #23 on: 08/09/2006 14:56:35 »
The roof is on fire Karen...lol

"Lo" Loretta
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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #24 on: 08/09/2006 21:39:17 »
Yes it is!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline sajid

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #25 on: 09/09/2006 02:51:13 »
nice to meet all of  you here i am new member and vey happy to see all of you .

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Offline neilep

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #26 on: 09/09/2006 03:10:25 »
Nice to see you too Sajid.

So, have you decided what you are going to do yet ?

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #27 on: 09/09/2006 04:15:22 »
HI Neil! How are you doing?

Karen

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Offline neilep

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #28 on: 09/09/2006 04:32:08 »
Thanks for asking Karen Mam.....I actually have a splitting headache as it's coming towards the 5am and wifey is still up with a couple of mates !!..it looks like they are here to stay !!  These are old school mates who she has not seen for a while......

How are you Karen Mam ?

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #29 on: 09/09/2006 04:43:01 »
I am ok. Have had a long day and its going to be a boring weekend. Sorry you have a headache wish I had a cure! Are they nice old school chums or boring you to death?
 I am sure wishing I could find something exciting to do! You all have big plans for the weekend? Thanks for adding so nicely to Helena thread..  Hubby came home 3 hours ago Looks like the monster from **** ! and sick as a dog!! Stuck on mountain with nothing but bad bad cold, although he seemed to have a fever. Son picked him up and took him home to go to bed!! He needs some sleep and tylonol for the fever!

 I am bored and havent seen anyone around so I went and broke Hadrians code, but it was way easy! You haave a migraine?

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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another_someone

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #30 on: 10/09/2006 01:55:34 »
Sajid,

I have not had time to respond to this thread, having had Internet problems for most of the past week.

Firstly, the 16 years is probably less significant that the percentage age difference.  The 16 years age difference between you and your girl friend is about 50% of your life, and 33% of hers.  It could have been worse, it could have been 100% of your life, and 50% of hers.  With time, the percentage difference will seem less.

I have known women who have married men 13 or 14 years their junior.  In one case, it was a 23 y.o. man marrying a 36 y.o. woman (actually, there was no ceremony, but they lived as man and wife, and had a son together).  It worked surprisingly well until alas he died 16 years later, leaving the woman distraught (just goes to show how unpredictable life can be).  I have also known such relationships that have not worked, but then even when the ages are more closely matched, relationships can still fail so there are no guarantees no matter what choice you make.

Nonetheless, there is no averting the the issue that large age disparities do provide their own problems, and you have to be that much more certain that both you and your partner are capable of taking on those additional problems.

As others have pointed out, the real problem seems to be not so much the age gap itself, but your own uncertainty as to whether you and she have what it takes to take on the problems you will face.  If you have these doubts now, how much worse will these doubts be when you are faced with the more serious challenges that always face any relationship as one progresses through life.

The question you have to address is, since the lady is old enough (if only just) to be your mother, what kind of relationship do you really have with her.  Is it that you actually have a surrogate mother/son relationship (i.e. that she likes looking after you, and you like to be looked after); or is it that she is a little immature for her age, and you a little precocious for yours, and so it is more the meeting of equals?

Hope the above makes some sense.  It is merely my own perspective on matters, and no-one can prescribe what is right or wrong for another only you can judge what is right for you, but when you do enter into a marriage, with all the responsibilities and risks that that entails, you should at least have a reasonable sense of certainty that you not only want the marriage, but that you (and your prospective partner) actually are capable of making it work in the long run.



George

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Offline sajid

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #31 on: 15/09/2006 00:06:45 »
okssssss


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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #32 on: 15/09/2006 00:29:46 »
Hello Sajid!!!  How are you?

"Lo" Loretta
"Just Me, Lo" Loretta

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #33 on: 15/09/2006 03:39:44 »
How are you Loretta!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #34 on: 15/09/2006 07:49:03 »
Fine and you Karen?

"Lo" Loretta
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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #35 on: 15/09/2006 16:14:18 »
I am ok! whats happening this morning? ANything cool!!

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline moonfire

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #36 on: 15/09/2006 18:21:30 »
Just bored out of my mind down to one menial task here and off back to my properties I go..woo hoo!  They like me and asked me to spend 1/2 the day with them..?  LOL

"Lo" Loretta
"Just Me, Lo" Loretta

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Offline Karen W.

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Re: i want marry but she is 16 years older then me
« Reply #37 on: 15/09/2006 19:35:47 »
Well thats good how do you feel about spending half  of your day there?

Karen

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."