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quote:Originally posted by GaiaThe Desert IslandTo lighten the gloom, herewith a story...............On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck;2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman.2 French men and 1 French woman.2 German men and 1 German woman.2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman.2 English men and 1 English woman.2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman.2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman.2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman.2 American men and 1 American woman.2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman.One month later on the same absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred;One Italian man has killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.The Englishmen have tried, so far without success, to set up an escape committee and a cricket match. The Englishwoman has arranged to sleep with each of the Englishmen on alternate months, but with the proviso that they only have sex after dark, and each man promises not to tell the other about their arrangements. The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the Bulgarian woman and started to swim.The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor shop, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their business.The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps - complaining endlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, - the necessity of fulfilment, - the equal division of household chores, - how sand and palm trees make her look fat, - how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her nicer than they do, - and how her relationship with her mother is improving.The two Irishmen divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they are satisfied because they don't think the English are having much fun.Gaia xxx
quote:Originally posted by sharkeyandgeorgea man is sailing round the world and crashes on a desert island with only a pig and a dog for company after a couple of months he is so desperate for sex that he decides he just has too shag something and starts sneeking up on the pig but as he starts to get into position the dog bites him on the arse and runs away, this continues for months every time the man feels amourous the dog bites just as he gets started and ruins it until finally many months later the man sees another boat floundering out on the rock and swims out and rescues a stunning blond girl who whisper in his ear."thank god for you, for saving my life I will do ANYTHING you want"the man turns to her with a tear in his eye and replies"please....please....please take that ****ing dog for a walk!"