[Sweetc (OP)]

Are there people who truly do not have the ability to have any emotional attachments to others. I have been reading a bunch of emotional attachments vs. emotionally unavailable articles. There are some pretty credible doctors that claim some people do not have the ability to emotional attach to others, even thier own children. It is said that this is caused by some kind of trauma as a child. During this trauma, a bunch of sub-self's are created to protect the real self. Apparently, the real self is not strong enough to handle the trauma, which is why these sub-self's step in. I also read that if this happens to someone that they can only improve this condition by participating in very intense therapy, but once they lose the ability to create an emotional attachment and/or bond its gone indefinitely. Is this really possible? Going through life's motions pretending to care just to fit in seems like a lot of work to keep up. Not being able to have emotional bonding with your own children...is this, not a natural occurrence when reproducing? For someone who can't emotionally bond or attach to another human being, how can life be at all fulfilling? Isn't being able to bond with other so very important? I find it hard to imagine not being able to truly bond with anyone, which is why it seems a little far-fetched to me. However, by no means do I think this is completely impossible. Which is why I am asking. Thanks

[puppypower]

Underlying the human personality are personality firmware, which define our human nature. These firmware of the brain are genetic based and analogous to psychological tools, with each specialized to specific tasks.

What can happen is the firmware, for a given set of human nature tasks, can be out of phase, such that the natural reactions and actions are not available. Instead, other firmware might be active, which is then being used to take over those original tasks. This may sort of work, but it will not be optimized.

An analogy is, say you need fasten two pieces of wood with nails.  The optimized tool is a hammer. If you left your hammer at home, but still need to fasten wood with nails, you may need to improvise. You might use a large wrench, like a  hammer. This can sort of work, but it makes the job harder. If you are framing a house the result will be fatigue, mistakes and frustration. This tool is not natural for that task, and requires more conscious focus. This extra  effort can take its toll, compared to the correct firmware running the show.

For example, there are some people who are neat freaks. They can clean the house, day after day, top to bottom, without any apparent effort .The reason is specific firmware is helping to drive them. Little conscious effort is needed since the firmware is doing the heavy lifting; defines the compulsion for them.

Others who are not neat freaks, may have to get themselves psyched up, before they can attempt to clean the house. The reason is they are using different firmware, as a habit, which is not geared to these tasks, requiring more conscious effort, which can cause fatigue. They may avoid cleaning until they have the energy and focus.

Emotional connections between people are run by specific firmware. If that firmware is out of phase or not active when needed, these natural connections will not be easy. Say for example, instead of the firmware for emotions being active the firmware connected to the intellect is active. The result will be using a wrench to hammer in nails. One can use their intellect to learn the motions of emotional caring, by watching others. You may intellectually appear to do and say the right thing. This may work, but it requires a lot of extra effort, compared to using second nature through the correct firmware. 

An example, would be Mr Spock providing emotional support for someone who only needs a sympathetic ear. Since his feelings are turned off, his help will not be easy or natural. He may try to coolly analysize and provide logic, which may not be what the other person needs. The other person may want to know the other person feels empathy. They may not feel this with Mr Spock since there is no feelings coming from inside him.

Therapy will attempt to figure out why some firmware are blocked or out of phase. Then it will try to figure out how to activate the correct firmware, so you have the right tool needed for the occasion. This will make life easier. The wrench is replaced by the hammer and the framing goes faster, easier with less mistakes.

[evan_au]

One of the characteristics of people on the Autistic Spectrum Disorder (previously called Asperger's syndrome) is difficulty in reading the emotions in others, or interpreting the emotional state of others.
See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_spectrum#Pathophysiology

In contrast with this, psychopaths are skilled at reading the emotional states of others - and exploit it mercilessly for their own benefit. They mostly care about themselves.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy

Around the time of the last US election, I saw a survey which tried to compare US presidents & the current presidential candidates against the criteria of psychopathy (very difficult, as some of those reviewed had been dead for over a century!).
- They pointed out that psychopathy is a spectrum
- You almost need to be a bit of a psychopath to aspire to the presidency
- Some other occupations like lawyers seem to attract people with psychopathic tendencies