Blonde Jokes~!

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Offline Seany

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« on: 22/04/2007 00:53:13 »
OK. Firstly, if you are a blonde, and you don't like jokes addressed to you.. Then.. Well.. I suggest you click the "X" button found at the top right hand corner of the screen. [;)]

Here is a blonde joke, which my school teacher told us. Heehee

There was a blonde woman, who went to the hairdressers.
She wanted to have her hair cut.
The hairdresser therefore, started cutting her hair, until she realised that the blonde woman was wearing a headset. She tried to keep cutting with the headset on, as it was getting in the way, but did not want to annoy her customer, so she left it on.
Finally, she almost finished cutting her hair, but, because of the headset, it looked weird. She tried to move the headset, but then the blonde woman suddenly woke from her sleep and told her not to remove the headset.
The hairdresser asked why, but the woman just told her not to. The hairdresser however, managed to take off the headset.
The blonde woman soon fell to sleep.
A good 10 minutes later, when the hairdresser had finished cutting the woman's hair, she tried to wake the woman up, but she laid there dead.
The hairdresser lifted the headset and put it near her ears. It said..

"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in..."
They say that when you die, your life flashes in front of you. Make it worth watching!


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Offline kevinlucas

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« Reply #1 on: 19/02/2008 05:38:56 »
Microsoft and a Halter Top

What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?

Both offer very little support!

source : http://www.lol101.com

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #2 on: 19/02/2008 09:04:09 »
Microsoft and a Halter Top

What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?

Both offer very little support!



What a great debut post. You'll fit in well here!
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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #3 on: 19/02/2008 17:30:54 »
Microsoft and a Halter Top

What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?

Both offer very little support!

source : http://www.lol101.com
Welcome to the site, n00bie.

Watch those blond jokes Seany, the soap-dodgers might get offended.
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #4 on: 19/02/2008 21:26:14 »
HEY!
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline ?UNTURNED_STONE?

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« Reply #5 on: 20/02/2008 09:07:55 »
O.o  Hi
There is a blonde and she owns two horses, now she cannot tell them apart so she walks over to her neighbours house and asks her some advice on how to tell them apart, "well" says the nieghbour "i think you should clip one of the horses ears and see if that helps", so ecstatic about her nieghbours help she goes home and tries this on one of the horses but still cannot tell them apart, so she returns to the nieghbour for advice "so clipping ones ear didnt help" says the nieghbour "no" replies the blonde "well have you tried measuring them to see if ones taller" so instantly the blonde departs and measures her horse, then sprints all the way to her nieghbours house, "you were right" said the blonde puffing...

"the black one is taller than the white one!"

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #6 on: 20/02/2008 09:21:28 »
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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #7 on: 20/02/2008 17:28:39 »
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #8 on: 21/02/2008 00:37:48 »
blondes i dont even know what a soap dodger is
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #9 on: 21/02/2008 17:28:27 »
blondes i dont even know what a soap dodger is
Bah ya wuss. I didn't take any offense and you shouldn't either.
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #10 on: 23/02/2008 02:29:10 »
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #11 on: 23/02/2008 08:56:59 »
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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #12 on: 23/02/2008 08:58:13 »
First blonde: "Hey, look at that dog over there with 1 eye"

The second blonde put her hand over 1 eye & asked "Where?"
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #13 on: 23/02/2008 18:10:34 »
Above also a thumbs up from me - And now:

Another blond joke.

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Bass

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« Reply #14 on: 23/02/2008 20:04:13 »
One winter morning a husband and blonde wife in northern Colorado were listening to the radio during breakfast. The announcer says,  "Weather forecast calling for 8 to 10 inches of snow today. Please must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

So the wife went out and moved her car.

Two days later, while eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. Please park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

The wife went out and moved her car again.

Same thing, a week later during breakfast, "We're expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow and----" Just  then the electricity snapped off. The wife had a worried look on her face when she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Old enough to have a grandson
Slow enough to study rocks
Thirsty enough to find a pub

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #15 on: 23/02/2008 20:19:02 »
One winter morning a husband and blonde wife in northern Colorado were listening to the radio during breakfast. The announcer says,  "Weather forecast calling for 8 to 10 inches of snow today. Please must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

So the wife went out and moved her car.

Two days later, while eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. Please park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

The wife went out and moved her car again.

Same thing, a week later during breakfast, "We're expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow and----" Just  then the electricity snapped off. The wife had a worried look on her face when she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"


Hee Hee Hee! I have never heard that one before.. Very funny! LOL!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #16 on: 23/02/2008 20:42:22 »
I don't know if this will translate well for the USA but here goes.

How can you tell that you have a blonde secretary?

Tipex on the computer screen.

(Tipex is correction fluid in case the make is different in America.)
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #17 on: 23/02/2008 20:45:28 »
Its called "white out" here.  :)

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #18 on: 23/02/2008 20:46:43 »
A blonde decided to go to Pizza Hut for something to eat. WHen her pizza was delivered to her table the waiter asked "Would you like it cut into 4 or 8 pieces?"

The blonde replied "Oh, just 4 please. I couldn't eat 8".

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Did you hear about the blonde who decided not to take up water skiing because she couldn't find a lake with a slope?

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What about the blonde who didn't dial 911 when her apartment was burgled because her phone didn't have an 11 button?

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A blonde had just wrecked her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to crawl from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the police arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK?"
"Yes, thanks, I'm just fine" the blonde replied.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the policeman asked.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!", the blonde said, "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this tree pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, miss", the police officer said, stopping her short, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

UK residents will find this 1 easier to understand...

Another blonde had a car crash. When the policeman arrived on the scene he saw that she had blood all over her face.
"Where are you bleeding from, miss?", he asked her
She replied "Bleeding Romford. What about you?"
« Last Edit: 23/02/2008 20:56:25 by DoctorBeaver »
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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #19 on: 23/02/2008 20:48:38 »
LOL LOL...Hee hee... Pretty good Doc! LOL!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #20 on: 23/02/2008 20:57:15 »
GAAAWD! I've just noticed the colour of Karen's hair!!  [:0]
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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #21 on: 23/02/2008 21:17:38 »
Karen I usually get white out from drinking too much guiness
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #22 on: 23/02/2008 21:37:02 »
GAAAWD! I've just noticed the colour of Karen's hair!!  [:0]

I happen to be a natural brunett  with soft brown highlights... LOL Truth be known the lighter color is GRAY NOT BLOND! Nice try!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #23 on: 23/02/2008 21:39:39 »
Karen I usually get white out from drinking too much guiness

Ive been getting white out from old age! LOL! Streaky white hairs peppering my head...

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #24 on: 23/02/2008 21:42:24 »
GAAAWD! I've just noticed the colour of Karen's hair!!  [:0]

I happen to be a natural brunett  with soft brown highlights... LOL Truth be known the lighter color is GRAY NOT BLOND! Nice try!

PHEW! So I needn't worry that I've offended you.
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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #25 on: 23/02/2008 21:43:59 »
What do blondes and tortoises have in common?

Put them on their back and they're screwed!  [:I]

------------------------------------------------

And just for Karen...

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says, "Awww, look at that poor dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
« Last Edit: 23/02/2008 21:46:55 by DoctorBeaver »
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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #26 on: 23/02/2008 21:53:05 »
GAAAWD! I've just noticed the colour of Karen's hair!!  [:0]

I happen to be a natural brunett  with soft brown highlights... LOL Truth be known the lighter color is GRAY NOT BLOND! Nice try!

PHEW! So I needn't worry that I've offended you.

No worries..! Blonds are beautiful! Inside and out! LOL!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #27 on: 23/02/2008 22:01:30 »

A blonde took her car to the body shop after a large hailstorm had left her car badly dented. The busy owner didn't have time to work on her car at the moment, so he thought he would try and see if blondes really were as dumb as these jokes indicate.

"Oh, those dents are pretty small, you can get those dent out yourself by just blowing hard into the tailpipe." he said.

After going home and trying for an hour, she called over her best blonde friend Betty to see if Betty had any ideas.

After hearing about what she was doing she said "That'll never work, you need to close the windows first.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #28 on: 23/02/2008 22:34:15 »
Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?

It takes too long to re-train them.

----------------------------------

What do you call an eternity?

Four blondes at a four way stop.

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What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

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Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #29 on: 23/02/2008 23:02:04 »
Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?

It takes too long to re-train them.

----------------------------------

What do you call an eternity?

Four blondes at a four way stop.

-----------------------------------

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

----------------------------------

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.


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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #30 on: 24/02/2008 02:32:49 »
GAAAWD! I've just noticed the colour of Karen's hair!!  [:0]

I happen to be a natural brunett  with soft brown highlights... LOL Truth be known the lighter color is GRAY NOT BLOND! Nice try!

PHEW! So I needn't worry that I've offended you.

HELLO!!!!   Blonde in the room!!! [>:(] [:(!]



What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

----------------------------------

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.


Hmph! [:P]

Carolyn

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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #31 on: 24/02/2008 02:34:01 »
No worries..! Blonds are beautiful! Inside and out! LOL!

Thanks Karen....so are brunettes. [:)]

Carolyn

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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #32 on: 24/02/2008 02:38:07 »
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies......................"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Carolyn

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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #33 on: 24/02/2008 02:39:06 »
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Carolyn

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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #34 on: 24/02/2008 02:39:58 »
Two casino dealers are at the craps table when a cute blonde comes over and says, "I want to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. But, if you don't mind, I'd I feel much luckier if I were completely nude." They say fine, she strips naked from the neck down, and rolls the dice. Then she screams, "I won! I won!" She starts jumping up and down, hugs each of the dealers, and then picks up her money and her clothes and walks away. For a minute the two dealers stare at each other. Then the first one says, "What did she roll, anyway?" The second dealer says, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."

Carolyn

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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #35 on: 24/02/2008 02:40:44 »
Jeff urgently needed a few days off work, but knew the Boss would not allow him to take a leave. He thought that maybe if he acted crazy then the boss would tell me to take a few days off. So, Jeff hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.  His co-worker Cathy (who's blonde) asked him what he was doing?

He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he was nuts and give him a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?"  Jeff told him he was a light bulb. The boss said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".  Jeff jumped down and walked out of the office. When Cathy followed him, the Boss asked her: "

And where do you think you're going?


She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
Carolyn

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #36 on: 24/02/2008 02:43:02 »
No worries..! Blonds are beautiful! Inside and out! LOL!

Thanks Karen....so are brunettes. [:)]



Yes I agree.. Your welcome...

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #37 on: 24/02/2008 02:44:09 »
Jeff urgently needed a few days off work, but knew the Boss would not allow him to take a leave. He thought that maybe if he acted crazy then the boss would tell me to take a few days off. So, Jeff hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.  His co-worker Cathy (who's blonde) asked him what he was doing?

He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he was nuts and give him a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?"  Jeff told him he was a light bulb. The boss said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".  Jeff jumped down and walked out of the office. When Cathy followed him, the Boss asked her: "

And where do you think you're going?


She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"


HEE HEE HEE.. Very good!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #38 on: 24/02/2008 09:13:37 »
Jeff urgently needed a few days off work, but knew the Boss would not allow him to take a leave. He thought that maybe if he acted crazy then the boss would tell me to take a few days off. So, Jeff hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.  His co-worker Cathy (who's blonde) asked him what he was doing?

He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think he was nuts and give him a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?"  Jeff told him he was a light bulb. The boss said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".  Jeff jumped down and walked out of the office. When Cathy followed him, the Boss asked her: "

And where do you think you're going?


She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"


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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #39 on: 24/02/2008 17:14:01 »
What do blondes and tortoises have in common?

Put them on their back and they're screwed!  [:I]

------------------------------------------------

And just for Karen...

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says, "Awww, look at that poor dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

Thanks for the addition Doc! LOL.. Funny! Hee hee hee...

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #40 on: 24/02/2008 17:21:41 »
Hurrrumph - this is not what a blond joke should be.

how do you kill a blonde...... put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool ...

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? ... To see what was on the other side.

What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? .... Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? .... Artificial intelligence.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? .... Shine a flashlight in their ear.

THESE are blonde jokes people.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #41 on: 24/02/2008 17:24:23 »
Hurrrumph - this is not what a blond joke should be.

how do you kill a blonde...... put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool ...

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? ... To see what was on the other side.

What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? .... Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? .... Artificial intelligence.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? .... Shine a flashlight in their ear.

THESE are blonde jokes people.


Those are the old blond jokes! LOL!!  Nice Jimbob! LOL

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #42 on: 24/02/2008 17:38:18 »
Hurrrumph - this is not what a blond joke should be.

how do you kill a blonde...... put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool ...

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? ... To see what was on the other side.

What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? .... Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? .... Artificial intelligence.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? .... Shine a flashlight in their ear.

THESE are blonde jokes people.


*sniff* If I had feelings that would hurt.
Carolyn

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Offline Carolyn

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« Reply #43 on: 24/02/2008 18:27:52 »
Carolyn

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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #44 on: 24/02/2008 18:57:33 »
LOL LOL... Carolyn thats no fair.. how did you get my math paper??? LOL

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #45 on: 24/02/2008 21:09:38 »
I like your jokes Jimbob. The old ones are always the best.

Here is a true blonde joke. I was teaching a class about saving water and other resources. It started to rain outside and the blonde girl at the back of the class said, " I've got a good way of saving water, we could all go outside with buckets and scoop the water out of the puddles.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #46 on: 24/02/2008 22:16:25 »
I like your jokes Jimbob. The old ones are always the best.

Here is a true blonde joke. I was teaching a class about saving water and other resources. It started to rain outside and the blonde girl at the back of the class said, " I've got a good way of saving water, we could all go outside with buckets and scoop the water out of the puddles.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #47 on: 24/02/2008 22:17:28 »
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #48 on: 24/02/2008 22:18:43 »
Hurrrumph - this is not what a blond joke should be.

how do you kill a blonde...... put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool ...

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? ... To see what was on the other side.

What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? .... Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? .... Artificial intelligence.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? .... Shine a flashlight in their ear.

THESE are blonde jokes people.


Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #49 on: 24/02/2008 22:22:15 »
I like your jokes Jimbob. The old ones are always the best.

Here is a true blonde joke. I was teaching a class about saving water and other resources. It started to rain outside and the blonde girl at the back of the class said, " I've got a good way of saving water, we could all go outside with buckets and scoop the water out of the puddles.

perhaps you could form the pale blonde brigade - er - blonde pail brigade?
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein