Blonde Jokes~!

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #50 on: 24/02/2008 22:31:57 »
First blonde "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?"
Second blonde "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?"

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A blonde called out a mechanic as her car wouldn't start. He worked on the car for a few minutes and got it working OK.
"What's the story?", asked the blonde
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

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A blonde went out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde shouts back, "You're already on the other side."
« Last Edit: 24/02/2008 22:36:01 by DoctorBeaver »
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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #51 on: 24/02/2008 22:55:54 »
Very good one I especially like the carburettor one!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #52 on: 25/02/2008 04:15:07 »
Something to wake up to:


Did you hear about the blond Bear?
She got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off 2 of her paws and 1 of her legs, and was still stuck.

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How does a blonde spell Farm?
E-I-E-I-O.

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It's with great sympathy that I report the near tragedy I just learned about.
My blonde next door neighbor tried to kill her toy poodle.

She tried putting batteries in it.

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To amuse a blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with 'Please turn over' scribbled on both sides.
« Last Edit: 25/02/2008 04:16:58 by JimBob »
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #53 on: 31/12/2008 05:31:38 »
A blonde walked into a bar  [:D]  [B)] [B)]

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Offline MonikaS

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« Reply #54 on: 31/12/2008 10:17:31 »
Why have some women bruises around their navel?

There are blond men too.
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I tried installing Jesus on my Scientific Method and I got a Blue Screen of Eternal Damnation.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #55 on: 31/12/2008 10:21:31 »
Navel? Isn't that a fancy way of saying belly button? I'm not sure why they have bruises there though... could be from a number of different things.

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Offline MonikaS

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« Reply #56 on: 31/12/2008 11:30:06 »
Oh but blond men are high up on the suspect list.... <eg>
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I tried installing Jesus on my Scientific Method and I got a Blue Screen of Eternal Damnation.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #57 on: 31/12/2008 11:34:08 »
What do you mean? Are you talking about domestic violence or something? [B)] Please enlighten me...
By the way, did you say that you lived in Hamburg?

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Offline MonikaS

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« Reply #58 on: 31/12/2008 13:32:55 »
What do you mean? Are you talking about domestic violence or something? [B)] Please enlighten me...
Naaah, just normal *koff* sex. Might be different with BDSM, though.

Quote
By the way, did you say that you lived in Hamburg?
Yep
I'm even born there.
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I tried installing Jesus on my Scientific Method and I got a Blue Screen of Eternal Damnation.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #59 on: 01/01/2009 02:41:20 »
Ohhhh..... [:o]right... [:D] [8)] I've finally got it [;)]

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Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #60 on: 01/01/2009 03:22:01 »
Yep
I'm even born there.
Can I try some German on you some time? (if you have spare time) it's probably a bit rusty but I'm sure I'll get back into gear fairly quickly...

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Offline MonikaS

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« Reply #61 on: 01/01/2009 19:23:49 »
Yep
I'm even born there.
Can I try some German on you some time? (if you have spare time) it's probably a bit rusty but I'm sure I'll get back into gear fairly quickly...
Sure... but beware... I've taught German as a foreign language, I'm fluent in grammaticaleze, and I'm mean... <eg>
Lets take it to email, as not to annoy the others with a language they don't understand.
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I tried installing Jesus on my Scientific Method and I got a Blue Screen of Eternal Damnation.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #62 on: 01/01/2009 22:37:43 »
Yep
I'm even born there.
Can I try some German on you some time? (if you have spare time) it's probably a bit rusty but I'm sure I'll get back into gear fairly quickly...
Sure... but beware... I've taught German as a foreign language, I'm fluent in grammaticaleze, and I'm mean... <eg>
Lets take it to email, as not to annoy the others with a language they don't understand.

Mein Gott - sie ist ein Dominatrix!  [:0]
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Offline MonikaS

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« Reply #63 on: 02/01/2009 09:28:46 »
Mein Gott - sie ist ein Dominatrix!  [:0]
Oopps you found out my secret...

Ähem... You will be punished, get on your knees Beaver!
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I tried installing Jesus on my Scientific Method and I got a Blue Screen of Eternal Damnation.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #64 on: 02/01/2009 12:09:26 »
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

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Offline MonikaS

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« Reply #65 on: 02/01/2009 17:02:08 »
Found the Beaver... do you notice the fur colour? Looks blondish to me <g,d&r>
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I tried installing Jesus on my Scientific Method and I got a Blue Screen of Eternal Damnation.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #66 on: 02/01/2009 17:28:32 »
harumph!  [:(!]
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Offline MonikaS

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« Reply #67 on: 02/01/2009 18:57:51 »
I told you I'm mean...
but no worries, I'm an equal opportunity sadist: men, women, beavers...
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I tried installing Jesus on my Scientific Method and I got a Blue Screen of Eternal Damnation.

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Offline dentstudent

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« Reply #68 on: 08/01/2009 13:06:14 »
Yep
I'm even born there.
Can I try some German on you some time? (if you have spare time) it's probably a bit rusty but I'm sure I'll get back into gear fairly quickly...
Sure... but beware... I've taught German as a foreign language, I'm fluent in grammaticaleze, and I'm mean... <eg>
Lets take it to email, as not to annoy the others with a language they don't understand.

I might include myself into that category!