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Two old geezers in adjacent beds in a hospital in Brighton, UK.Geezer1: "Did you come 'ere to die?"Geezer2: "No mate. I come 'ere yesterdie."
Mil, I think that's cobblers.Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain."You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.The ticket seller calmly replies:"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'