Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #800 on: 20/11/2010 15:07:06 »


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.



Well it is a stirring subject.


Because of the spooning?

No, it's because it percolates in my brain, whether I want it to or not.

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #801 on: 20/11/2010 17:05:38 »


In that case, it must be instant.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #802 on: 20/11/2010 18:40:39 »


At least try to lighten up.

(I wonder if that's what they said to Guy Fawkes?)


He was so sensitive to criticism, he would've imploded.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #803 on: 20/11/2010 19:32:48 »
Sometimes when you add coffee powder to nuked water it explodes like a volcano.
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #804 on: 20/11/2010 21:17:53 »

When I asked if I could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted they assured me I would be covered.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #805 on: 20/11/2010 21:54:28 »
Are you covered for seismic events by Quaker State Insurance?
« Last Edit: 20/11/2010 22:17:09 by Geezer »
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #806 on: 21/11/2010 00:04:31 »

Geezer, that's a catastrophic question.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #807 on: 21/11/2010 01:46:35 »
My friend Dick has a thing about unwanted felines showing up in his garden and using it as a toilet. He even borrowed my BB gun once to try to scare them off.

Anyway, I was round at his place the other day, and among the mounted heads of deer, elk and moose hanging on his walls there was also a cat. The strange thing about it was that it was the rear end of the cat that was mounted instead of its head.

"What the heck is that?" I enquired.

"Oh," says Dick, "It's a cat's ass trophy."
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #808 on: 21/11/2010 14:25:29 »
Wow Geezer, did you have to hunt long to catch that story?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #809 on: 21/11/2010 21:23:38 »

Donnah, don't expect a reply. Cat's got his tongue.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #810 on: 21/11/2010 21:28:11 »

Also, he might not be feline well today.

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #811 on: 22/11/2010 16:55:12 »
If he is not feline well today does it mean he has had a bit too much hair of the dog?



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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #812 on: 22/11/2010 18:31:47 »

Hair of the dog?? I hope you don't mean...<gasp>...this!


"It's a cat's ass...."


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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #813 on: 22/11/2010 23:03:56 »
Dedicated to Don for his reply to my astronomy struggles:

Scientists wanting to send a rocket to Jupiter had to really planet.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #814 on: 23/11/2010 15:43:51 »
I asked Demo to take a seat after I had sat Ern down.

"where shall I sit?" Demo asked, I replied, "On uranus".


Phew! I had to get the cobwebs off those two!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #815 on: 24/11/2010 22:36:25 »




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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #816 on: 24/11/2010 22:41:58 »
I asked Demo to take a seat after I had sat Ern down.

"where shall I sit?" Demo asked, I replied, "On uranus".


Phew! I had to get the cobwebs off those two!

Thanks, Don, that's where I'll sit! And on this planet,  since my wife's the apple of my eye I'll sit down right be cider.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #817 on: 26/11/2010 09:24:01 »

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.



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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #818 on: 26/11/2010 09:50:13 »

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.


Didn't you mean "jiggle"?
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #819 on: 28/11/2010 02:52:51 »

Wow,, Geezer, when you are determined to go after another punster, you really know how to go for the juggler!

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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #820 on: 28/11/2010 15:58:02 »
Depends on your view, whether they are juggling balls or jiggling something else.....

Though I have to admit I cannot juggle well, I keep losing something every so often whilst doing it, and it tends to get a bit messy around me if I do it too long.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #821 on: 28/11/2010 20:29:39 »

Sean, I knew someone like that, but instead of continuing that way,  he got a model airplane hobby that really took off.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #822 on: 29/11/2010 04:17:53 »
Whao, this is really intense, I need to think of some pun-liners

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #823 on: 29/11/2010 07:21:13 »

Well, Chem, monorails always make for decent pun-one-liners...

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #824 on: 29/11/2010 08:36:36 »
I'm not train ed to handle such pun ishment

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #825 on: 29/11/2010 09:52:43 »
I hope this does not drive you underground.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #826 on: 29/11/2010 16:33:22 »

I'm not train ed to handle such pun ishment


I hope this does not drive you underground.


Geezer, very perceptive! For all we know,  Chem might be a  spy who works from his basement bed underground and undercover!



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Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #827 on: 29/11/2010 17:00:27 »
MMMMMM Chem-mystery can be both exciting and scary at the same time, especially if you do not do your research properly and it all blows up.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #828 on: 29/11/2010 23:04:35 »

Sean, yes, that's what happens when you're out of your element.

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #829 on: 30/11/2010 01:33:30 »
I've also noticed a lot of bad stuff seems to happen when I'm out with my elephant.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #830 on: 30/11/2010 02:28:14 »

But at least they will work for peanuts.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #831 on: 30/11/2010 04:35:09 »
Sometimes when you're monkeying around on an elephant you get hounded.

Has anyone seen the video "Suryia and Hound"?  I find it one of those events that touches my soul. http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07
« Last Edit: 30/11/2010 04:38:47 by Donnah »
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #832 on: 30/11/2010 07:37:05 »

But at least they will work for peanuts.

Yes, but their agents will only wear the latest CA shoes, so it still gets pretty spendy.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #833 on: 30/11/2010 11:05:02 »
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #834 on: 30/11/2010 19:15:52 »

Reminds me of this nut named Hazel who held up a bank saying 'give me all the cashew have'.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #835 on: 30/11/2010 19:23:52 »

Sometimes when you're monkeying around on an elephant you get hounded.


I gave in when my wife hounded me about getting a puppy.
 

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #836 on: 01/12/2010 13:33:27 »
You really should briard, put your foot down and say 'NO'.

Setter up with a little kitten instead, she'll soon be feline OK and you'll retiever respect for you. You must pointer in the right direction.

Will she take it out for a walk and clean up after it? As soon as you take it out for walkies it will cock its leg up some lamp post, or some poor unsuspecting chap, frozen to the bone, waiting for a bus. And once it has wee'd you can guarantee it will shih tzun.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #837 on: 01/12/2010 14:05:21 »
What are CA shoes?
"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #838 on: 01/12/2010 18:21:00 »
What are CA shoes?

NY NJ MA NH VT WA FL CA OR etc.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #839 on: 01/12/2010 22:43:28 »

Donnah, as you can see there are also MA shoes, but I'm not parting with that pair!

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #840 on: 01/12/2010 22:56:04 »
You really should briard, put your foot down and say 'NO'.

Setter up with a little kitten instead, she'll soon be feline OK and you'll retiever respect for you. You must pointer in the right direction.

Will she take it out for a walk and clean up after it? As soon as you take it out for walkies it will cock its leg up some lamp post, or some poor unsuspecting chap, frozen to the bone, waiting for a bus. And once it has wee'd you can guarantee it will shih tzun.




I propose that we all chip in and award Don this cat-dog  swaddle for his petfect punning! Anyone second the notion?

BTW, shouldn't that say, shih tzum? (it's usually more than just un)
« Last Edit: 01/12/2010 23:06:44 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #841 on: 02/12/2010 01:35:42 »

What are CA shoes?


WA shoes are you talking about?

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #842 on: 02/12/2010 02:07:04 »
The kind of shoe that heels you and helps your sole.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #843 on: 02/12/2010 04:35:54 »

Wow, it sounds like it would even dye for me!

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #844 on: 02/12/2010 04:40:44 »
Indied

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Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #845 on: 02/12/2010 09:12:01 »
Ah, soles, he said tongue in cheek and laced up to the eyes with booze. That's the last time he'el drink so much after taking an upper to find inner sole peace.

What a load of old cobblers!


BTW, nice to see the return of the punning C4M.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #846 on: 02/12/2010 17:43:54 »


He got his foot in the door with this album!

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Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #847 on: 02/12/2010 19:32:21 »
Demo, I didn't think you would stoop so low, me old pal.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force Šther.

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #848 on: 02/12/2010 19:52:47 »

Has anyone seen the video "Suryia and Hound"?  I find it one of those events that touches my soul.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07


Yes, Donnah, that was heartwarming! Thanks.

This was not a pun
This was not a pun
This was not a pun
This was not a pun
« Last Edit: 02/12/2010 19:59:11 by demografx »

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Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #849 on: 02/12/2010 19:56:40 »

Demo, I didn't think you would stoop so low, me old pal.


Aw, Geezer, you made me feel bad with that remark, so I'll reform my ways and go back to being a high maintenance old pal!