There's a moose, aloose, aboot this hoose.

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Offline Geezer

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There's a moose, aloose, aboot this hoose.
« on: 18/11/2010 18:08:55 »
No, I mean there really is. The dogs were going mental last night, and when I looked out my office window, a large female moose was standing about ten feet away staring right at me. We tried to take some pix, but it was too dark by then to capture anything.
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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #1 on: 18/11/2010 21:40:19 »
A Moose in the hoose! Hoots mon!

Of course the Moose is also known as the Elk, especially by the Greeks, I understand, or at least that the way it sounds to me: Mooseaka
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #2 on: 19/11/2010 01:46:23 »

Can it be a moostake?

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #3 on: 19/11/2010 05:42:02 »

Can it be a moostake?

If it doesn't watch it, it will become a moose steak.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #4 on: 19/11/2010 06:09:35 »
Nasty things mooses. If your car collides with a deer it will be damaged. A moose's torso is so high off the ground that it's more than likely to come right through your windshield, with devastating results.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline RD

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« Reply #5 on: 19/11/2010 06:48:10 »
... a large female moose was standing about ten feet away staring right at me.

If you've got one of these hat racks mounted on the wall it may have been attracted to it  [:)]

[attachment=13436]

http://www.taxidermyworld.com/mammals.htm
« Last Edit: 19/11/2010 06:56:31 by RD »

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #6 on: 19/11/2010 07:51:48 »


Long ago, I was driving with a friend in a VW, we hit a deer. Luckily, we survived. (Not the deer).

Geezer, GMTA, my first thought was also moose steak.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #7 on: 19/11/2010 09:48:44 »
If you inadvertently kill a Moose, you should cremate it. The remains are known as mustache.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #8 on: 19/11/2010 09:54:17 »
 [;D] Don - you should be ashamed of yourself for that pun
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

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cat_with_no_eyes

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There's a moose, aloose, aboot this hoose.
« Reply #9 on: 19/11/2010 18:23:59 »
For a second there i thought you meant mouse

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #10 on: 23/11/2010 15:49:05 »
[;D] Don - you should be ashamed of yourself for that pun

It was a long forgoten pun I found in the archives of the British Mooseum.
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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #11 on: 23/11/2010 17:32:31 »
Don - do you have an emoticon of a little yellow fellow banging his head against his desk, cos that's the one I need now!
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #12 on: 23/11/2010 18:10:18 »
Like this?

I'll play you a little tune...... I hope its to your taste, I don't want you to feel unwell because of my moosesick.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline maffsolo

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« Reply #13 on: 23/11/2010 21:39:31 »
Like this?

I'll play you a little tune...... I hope its to your taste, I don't want you to feel unwell because of my moosesick.

Seeing double usually is the case maybe it was little bit to too much of the brewski hooch

 [attachment=13451]


http://www.mooseworld.com/sightings_idaho.htm

OK now ?
« Last Edit: 23/11/2010 21:49:08 by maffsolo »

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #14 on: 24/11/2010 07:55:55 »
Don - do you have an emoticon of a little yellow fellow banging his head against his desk, cos that's the one I need now!


Would you like a little cheese with your whine? I've got some moosarella right here.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #15 on: 24/11/2010 10:33:19 »
Moosarella and whine? Mmmmm lovely, but if I have a few too many, I might get up to some mooschief.

Poor imatfaal seems to have had all he can take of this elk thread. Perhaps it should be dead and buried.

I shall commission the construction of a moosaleum and find a funeral director with a suitable hearse. A converted moostang should fit the bill. After all, we don't want imatfaal to defile the corpse 'Moosalini' style.

What do you you think? Should the service be Christian, Jewish or Mooslim? The fact that the Elk's name was Moostafa should be a clue.

C'mon imatfaal, old chap, you moost be able to take few more of these puns.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #16 on: 24/11/2010 10:41:21 »
I'll go for some cheese - I do like to add condiments to my moosarella to make it taste of late elk - ie very moose-tardy.
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #17 on: 24/11/2010 10:55:04 »
I'll go for some cheese - I do like to add condiments to my moosarella to make it taste of late elk - ie very moose-tardy.

After that one, if you can take no more, you must say 'I only have mooself to blame'.

I had just booked a vocalist for the service, Elke Sommer, of course.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #18 on: 24/11/2010 18:51:02 »
It's a moosconception to think that a moose an elk. I think it's best not to moose around with them.
« Last Edit: 24/11/2010 21:03:52 by Geezer »
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Offline demografx

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« Reply #19 on: 24/11/2010 23:41:24 »


The moose had indigestion so he took an elkaseltzer.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #20 on: 24/11/2010 23:50:28 »

Is this the mooset we can hope for???

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #21 on: 25/11/2010 10:42:50 »
I see we are running out of large deer-like puns; I will ask my aged, and obnoxious Egyptian friend Fared who is a climatologist who specialises in precipitation -
why you might ask?  because  "Rude Ole Fared knows rain, Dear!"

I think I will go back to bed now - my head hurts  [xx(]
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #22 on: 25/11/2010 20:08:43 »
I will ask my aged, and obnoxious Egyptian friend Fared who is a climatologist who specialises in precipitation -
why you might ask?  because  "Rude Ole Fared knows rain, Dear!"


Oh! I suppose you expect us to fawn over you for being so clever? Well, I have to tell you I really don't caribout what you have to say, eh?
« Last Edit: 26/11/2010 08:27:17 by Geezer »
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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #23 on: 26/11/2010 11:46:35 »
I will get over your scorn with a drink from my hip flask - I always carry-booze around. 

Serious question out of the blue - do any of the Scots expats/Scotish-American families make whisky out in the US, and I mean proper malt rather than sourmash/bourbon etc?
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #24 on: 26/11/2010 21:38:23 »
Moosarella and whine? Mmmmm lovely, but if I have a few too many, I might get up to some mooschief.

Poor imatfaal seems to have had all he can take of this elk thread. Perhaps it should be dead and buried.

I shall commission the construction of a moosaleum and find a funeral director with a suitable hearse. A converted moostang should fit the bill. After all, we don't want imatfaal to defile the corpse 'Moosalini' style.

What do you you think? Should the service be Christian, Jewish or Mooslim? The fact that the Elk's name was Moostafa should be a clue.

C'mon imatfaal, old chap, you moost be able to take few more of these puns.

I would think a Moosoleum to be the correct burial place for said deceased creature.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #25 on: 27/11/2010 05:14:56 »
Serious question out of the blue - do any of the Scots expats/Scotish-American families make whisky out in the US, and I mean proper malt rather than sourmash/bourbon etc?

None that I'm aware of. I suspect it would not be a commercial success, even if it was pretty good stuff.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force ćther.

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Offline demografx

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« Reply #26 on: 28/11/2010 04:37:08 »

Moosarella and whine? Mmmmm lovely, but if I have a few too many, I might get up to some mooschief.

Poor imatfaal seems to have had all he can take of this elk thread. Perhaps it should be dead and buried.

I shall commission the construction of a moosaleum and find a funeral director with a suitable hearse. A converted moostang should fit the bill. After all, we don't want imatfaal to defile the corpse 'Moosalini' style.

What do you you think? Should the service be Christian, Jewish or Mooslim? The fact that the Elk's name was Moostafa should be a clue.

C'mon imatfaal, old chap, you moost be able to take few more of these puns.


I would think a Moosoleum to be the correct burial place for said deceased creature.


I agree. But what if someone asks you to say, "Mooslim Moosoleum", FAST, 35X in a row. Why, it would eventually sound like, " Moosolini Martini"...or worse!

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #27 on: 30/11/2010 11:17:33 »
I can think of nowt worse than moose mousse. I would much prefer some mooshroom soup.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #28 on: 30/11/2010 16:28:30 »
Doubtless you are all moostified by my last post.

Perhaps you would prefer mooshy peas.
« Last Edit: 30/11/2010 16:31:59 by Don_1 »
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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #29 on: 30/11/2010 19:38:22 »
I don't know if anyone else has noticed it, but there's a slightly moosety smell in this room.
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Offline demografx

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« Reply #30 on: 01/12/2010 08:27:42 »

Geezer, just sprinkle a tiny drop of Mousse de Chene Perfume Extract 8.5 ml by L'Aromarine ...and it'll be fine. Trust me!

El K-Mart Stores carries it. (Conveniently located South of the Border)

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #31 on: 01/12/2010 13:09:09 »
South of the Border......
....... Down mooxico way.
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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #32 on: 01/12/2010 18:13:32 »
South of the Border......
....... Down mooxico way.

Isn't Mooxico North of the 49th parallel, eh?
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Offline demografx

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« Reply #33 on: 02/12/2010 01:49:44 »

Sigh. So many moostakes and not enough white-out to correct them all!

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #34 on: 02/12/2010 04:52:15 »
Actually, not a lot of people know that the moose is a very discerning animal. It's favourite breakfast is about twenty pounds of mooseli washed down with a couple of flagons of moosecatel.

It also has quite good moosical taste. One of its favourite pieces is Moozart's less well known K525B, "Eine Grossen Moose Moosik".
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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #35 on: 02/12/2010 09:02:38 »
Breakfast sounds all very well for that moose, but in India they much prefer a Tikka Moosala.
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #36 on: 02/12/2010 15:01:26 »
"I like to smoke after a meal", said my Arabian chum, Moostafa Fag.
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Offline demografx

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« Reply #37 on: 03/12/2010 07:38:24 »

Moostafa Fag.


Oh deer. Is that politically el korrect? (ciggy synonym notwithstanding).


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Offline demografx

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« Reply #38 on: 03/12/2010 07:41:54 »

Breakfast sounds all very well for that moose, but in India they much prefer a Tikka Moosala.


Ever try veal moosala? Yum!

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Offline Don_1

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« Reply #39 on: 03/12/2010 09:51:04 »
Considering the vein of this thread, perhaps we should try Moose moosala or Mooscrat moosala.

Or how about horse meat moosala......... but as most here might object to eating horse meat, you would have to hide that fact and, perhaps, make out its a cheese moosala. Try calling it 'moosk a pony moosala'.

Do I get extra points for a double pun?
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.