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do I weigh the same as the Earth? Or am I missing something?
The gravitational field strength of a person is far less than that of the earth at equal radial distances from the centre of mass of each of them. If the mass of the person were all within its own Schwarzscild radius then there would be a radial distance from its event horizon where the gravitational field strength would equal that at the surface of the earth. If the surface of the earth were at this radial distance from the centre of the black hole then the person would weigh the same as the planet. However, the definition of person is now lost.
The concept of "weight" implies some standardised measurement conditions, usually "At sea level, on Earth.".
.....even though you royally ticked me off the last time I was here.....
Quote .....even though you royally ticked me off the last time I was here.....I missed that. Sounds like it could have been fun.