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  4. DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)

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Offline Karen W.

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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #480 on: 03/12/2007 18:17:30 »
Wow Ben.. Your story is very detailed and they move a long very well.

What made you want to write a war or battle type story??? Is this a topic you follow.. ? Do you like War history..battles? My Grandfather was taken by historical battles the whole strategies behind different leaders approaches to battles etc. He was a history buff!
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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #481 on: 04/12/2007 14:11:05 »
I mostly like swords and fanatsy stories. But stories with guns and stratagies, especially sci-fi, are also interesting.
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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #482 on: 04/12/2007 17:53:46 »
     They moved through the third room with no trouble, it was full of lockers which were, in turn, full of armor. Some were already empty. But only a few. There was a lot of activity in the next room. Ben could hear machinery and people yelling directions. They took up positions. Ben held up three fingers, then two, then one. Ben spun, but before he could open fire, the door exploded in.
     Ben went flying backward and saw stars in took a few precious seconds to find out what hit him. He heart sank.
     Towering in front of him, was a Goliath.
     The rebels used this mech/battle armor as a anti-light vehicle. It had huge legs and arms and two shoulder mounted turrets. Against infantry it was impervious. Ben couldn't see Rob and had no time to look for him, he dived to the side as the Goliath launched a small rocket at him. Ben unloaded on the front but his bullets pinged off. He saw a flash of Rob picking himself up behind the Goliath. He caught Ben's eye for an instant then disappeared. Of course, Ben thought. The Goliath was impervious to most infantry attacks. But only from the front. The back of the machine and the pilot were completly undefended. Ben stood up.
     "Come on, you call that a hit? My grandma could pilot that thing better than you." He taunted the leaped back as the pilot threw an angry swing at him. "I would have faster punches if I was frozen solid." Ben said again, dodging another punch. The pilot was really angry now, and leveled his machine gun turret at Ben. Ben just smiled as multiple gun discharges were heard, but none came from the turret, the Goliath fell forward and in sparks and a tremendous crash. Ben circled around it.
     There wasn't much of the pilot left, clearly Rob had used shredder rounds. Many of the inside controls were damaged. Blue sparks emitted here and there and all of the readouts that survived were red. Ben nodded to Rob and they charged into the next room.
     But no one was there. Clearly, the rebel techs bugged out after the Goliath fell. The door at the back of the room was half open and their tools were scattered everywhere. Ben nodded to Rob and pressed the mic button on his helmet.
     "Sir, this is Private Ben. Armory one secure."
     "What took ya so long, Private?" Sargent's voice answered. "We've been waiting for at least two minutes."
     "The rebels dished out a Goliath then bugged out when we destroyed it."
     "Destroyed, or put offline? The techs are always looking to study those things." Suddenly, there was an explosion from the other room.
     "Destroyed, sir."
     "Well, you did okay regardless," the Commander's voice said, "Get back to the lobby, I'll upload your next objective there."
« Last Edit: 04/12/2007 17:55:48 by Nobody's Confidant »
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Offline Karen W.

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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #483 on: 04/12/2007 18:36:00 »
Quote from: Nobody's Confidant on 04/12/2007 17:53:46
     They moved through the third room with no trouble, it was full of lockers which were, in turn, full of armor. Some were already empty. But only a few. There was a lot of activity in the next room. Ben could hear machinery and people yelling directions. They took up positions. Ben held up three fingers, then two, then one. Ben spun, but before he could open fire, the door exploded in.
     Ben went flying backward and saw stars it took a few precious seconds to find out what hit him. His heart sank.
     Towering in front of him, was a Goliath.
     The rebels used this mech/battle armor as a anti-light vehicle. It had huge legs and arms and two shoulder mounted turrets. Against infantry it was impervious. Ben couldn't see Rob and had no time to look for him, he dived to the side as the Goliath launched a small rocket at him. Ben unloaded on the front but his bullets pinged off. He saw a flash of Rob picking himself up behind the Goliath. He caught Ben's eye for an instant then disappeared. Of course, Ben thought. The Goliath was impervious to most infantry attacks. But only from the front. The back of the machine and the pilot were completely undefended. Ben stood up.
     "Come on, you call that a hit? My grandma could pilot that thing better than you." He taunted the leaped back as the pilot threw an angry swing at him. "I would have faster punches if I was frozen solid." Ben said again, dodging another punch. The pilot was really angry now, and leveled his machine gun turret at Ben. Ben just smiled as multiple gun discharges were heard, but none came from the turret, the Goliath fell forward and in sparks and a tremendous crash. Ben circled around it.
     There wasn't much of the pilot left, clearly Rob had used shredder rounds. Many of the inside controls were damaged. Blue sparks emitted here and there and all of the readouts that survived were red. Ben nodded to Rob and they charged into the next room.
     But no one was there. Clearly, the rebel techs bugged out after the Goliath fell. The door at the back of the room was half open and their tools were scattered everywhere. Ben nodded to Rob and pressed the mic button on his helmet.
     "Sir, this is Private Ben. Armory one secure."
     "What took ya so long, Private?" Sargent's voice answered. "We've been waiting for at least two minutes."
     "The rebels dished out a Goliath then bugged out when we destroyed it."
     "Destroyed, or put offline? The techs are always looking to study those things." Suddenly, there was an explosion from the other room.
     "Destroyed, sir."
     "Well, you did okay regardless," the Commander's voice said, "Get back to the lobby, I'll upload your next objective there."

Just a couple spelling errors..

Ben This is very well done.. Your story has good action and moves along at a nice pace. It does not drag and that is really good in holding ones attention! Nicely done!
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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #484 on: 04/12/2007 20:13:37 »
Hi Daniel!
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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #485 on: 05/12/2007 12:35:11 »
Hello Karen. 2 hour snow delay so far!
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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #486 on: 05/12/2007 13:29:38 »
Yeha cancelled. haha. nics in school cuz its shinyy outside. lol it is here too but yeah! lol
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« Reply #487 on: 05/12/2007 13:41:56 »
Quote from: Simulated on 05/12/2007 12:35:11
Hello Karen. 2 hour snow delay so far!

You mean before school!
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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #488 on: 05/12/2007 13:45:21 »
Well I hope you enjoy your time away from school

Quote from: Simulated on 05/12/2007 13:29:38
Yeha cancelled. haha. nics in school cuz its shinyy outside. lol it is here too but yeah! lol
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« Reply #489 on: 05/12/2007 13:52:53 »
I will
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Offline kdlynn (OP)

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DIARY ENTRIES & GENERAL CHAT !!!!!!! (VER 9)
« Reply #490 on: 06/12/2007 01:21:05 »
* yawn * hi guys
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« Reply #491 on: 06/12/2007 01:48:07 »
my mom, brother, and sister were off school today. not fair. i almost died on the way to work. twice
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« Reply #492 on: 06/12/2007 01:50:02 »
Hello. I was also off today as you might have seen. But that's not good Kadie! Don't die we love you lol
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« Reply #493 on: 06/12/2007 01:52:16 »
then i found out that my grandma had a heart attack last night and is in intensive care.
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« Reply #494 on: 06/12/2007 01:53:49 »
Aww its ok Kadie. Kayla's mom also had a "heartattack" on um monday? I guess she had purdy darn clogged up something. But they fized it all and she's doing better now.
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« Reply #495 on: 06/12/2007 01:55:06 »
this is my grandma's third heart attack. last time she was technically dead for over a minute
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« Reply #496 on: 06/12/2007 01:57:24 »
Oh Kaide need a hug?
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« Reply #497 on: 06/12/2007 01:58:13 »
sorry i've got to go
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« Reply #498 on: 06/12/2007 01:58:24 »
no. i'm ok. just needed to vent.
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« Reply #499 on: 06/12/2007 02:01:06 »
Night Kaide!!
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