Is willful flatulence really assault?

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blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« on: 11/07/2008 14:24:45 »
I remember hearing, years ago, about an American policeman who stood right next to somebody in custody, released a fearsome trouser cough and said "Check that out".

Litigious to the last, the detained person filed a complaint; a case was prosecuted and the officer found guilty of - ASSAULT!  [:0]

This is true. However, as in these days the worst you can do to somebody is to offend them, the question is - Could it happen here?  [:-\]

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paul.fr

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #1 on: 11/07/2008 14:52:49 »
The forum has it's own old farts, i wonder what they think?

Jim, Eth, over to you.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #2 on: 11/07/2008 18:36:08 »
The forum has it's own old farts, i wonder what they think?

Jim, Eth, over to you.

Damned whippersnapper. Have some respect!
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Offline Karen W.

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #3 on: 11/07/2008 18:58:43 »
I don't know but I say ask Neil, He loves them.....and you love them too... you know you do! LOL LOL LOL

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #4 on: 11/07/2008 21:03:44 »
If you follow this logic, you could get arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon if you have IBS.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline neilep

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #5 on: 11/07/2008 22:05:07 »
It's lewd, it's rude,
It's awfully crude
Especially fun when
You're in the mood
Brings a laugh when
You're in the nude
Flapajack flapajack
Spray spray spray
Soft or silent
Blasted any way
Fart, guff, windypop
Never to be done
In a crowded shop

Blow off, blow off,
Fart fart fart
Rubacheek, rubacheek
It's an art art art
Underneath the bed sheets
Bubbles in the bath
Open up the window
Cuts oxygen by half

Rubbery cheeks and
Stained underwear
There's a fart around
Better beware !



Quality...it's a classic !!
Men are the same as women, just inside out !

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Offline RD

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #6 on: 12/07/2008 02:32:16 »
If IBS is a dangerous weapon, then Daisy here is potentially a suicide bomber  [:)]

[attachment=3674]

Quote
Scientists have strapped plastic tanks to the backs of cows in order to collect their belches and study their methane levels. The scientists say that as much as 30% of Argentina's greenhouse gases could come from cows, and hope this study will find a way to cut down on emissions by changing the diet and lifestyle of the animals. The grass that cows eat is hard to digest and broken down by bacteria in the animal's four stomachs. With no oxygen, the bacteria turn into methane. Most gas comes from the front, not rear, ends of the cows.(phew!!!) The average dairy cow in the UK belches out about 100 to 200 litres of methane each day. Pardon you.
http://ayrshiregeog.blogspot.com/
« Last Edit: 12/07/2008 02:57:51 by RD »

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Offline Karen W.

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #7 on: 12/07/2008 07:53:48 »
It's lewd, it's rude,
It's awfully crude
Especially fun when
You're in the mood
Brings a laugh when
You're in the nude
Flapajack flapajack
Spray spray spray
Soft or silent
Blasted any way
Fart, guff, windypop
Never to be done
In a crowded shop

Blow off, blow off,
Fart fart fart
Rubacheek, rubacheek
It's an art art art
Underneath the bed sheets
Bubbles in the bath
Open up the window
Cuts oxygen by half

Rubbery cheeks and
Stained underwear
There's a fart around
Better beware !



Quality...it's a classic !!

It is a classic and makes me laugh every time I read it! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! What did I say ask Neil!! LOL...

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #8 on: 12/07/2008 11:43:21 »
Whilst it's heartening to know that farts have lost none of their comedic value over the years, this was originally posted as a bony fido enquiry - so, do you think this could ever come to our courts?

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Offline neilep

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #9 on: 12/07/2008 12:55:54 »
Whilst it's heartening to know that farts have lost none of their comedic value over the years, this was originally posted as a bony fido enquiry - so, do you think this could ever come to our courts?

You're right...back to the topic in hand.

can one really litigate against a natural body function ?...well.....circumstances have to dictate this..Clearly in America you can.....and if someone was aggressive enough and found a good enough lawyer then I can see it ' possibly ' happening.........though, I would hope it would be thrown out of court...

...But...say the aroma was so overwhelming that the ' victim ' hurt themselves whilst escaping the offending scent.....??.....hmmmm !!.....They would have to prove intent too !!
Men are the same as women, just inside out !

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Offline Karen W.

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #10 on: 12/07/2008 14:19:45 »
I took this from a thread somewhere but they did quote the act: LOL I thought seriously could not happen but seems I am wrong!


You could possibly be charged with a Section 4a Public Order offence, 'intention to cause harrassment, alarm or distress'; or even be charge with assault.

Both are summary offences and carry a maximum sentence of six months imprisonment.

That said, it seems very unlikely that the police or indeed the CPS, would process an offence of this nature via the courts, unless your accuser was to claim that the act was a Hate Crime.


Source(s):
Public Order Act 1986
Criminal Justice Act 1988

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #11 on: 12/07/2008 18:21:40 »
Natural body function - interesting - like aggression, for instance. I know that's a state of mind but it depends whether you regard the mind and body as separate or not. Anyhow, the flatulence was used as a weapon, so to speak, certainly in an aggressive way - and the intention was there; the intention to cause discomfort certainly. I think this could easily happen here given the emphasis on the rights of the individual, criminal or otherwise.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #12 on: 12/07/2008 18:40:02 »
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

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blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #13 on: 12/07/2008 18:53:20 »
I don't know where you get them from - very funny though.

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Offline neilep

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« Reply #14 on: 12/07/2008 19:34:52 »
I had this feeling as I wrote that, that you may pick up on what definition you may apply to ' natural body function'....you are referring to farting and so am I !

Men are the same as women, just inside out !

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #15 on: 12/07/2008 20:38:37 »
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

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Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #16 on: 15/07/2008 22:07:32 »
Mr Methane goes around the country performing his flatulent stage act. He has learnt to draw air into his backside and let it out at will.

So would his audience all be able to take him to court for farting in an aggressive way?
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline RD

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #17 on: 15/07/2008 22:39:37 »
Mr Methane goes around the country performing his flatulent stage act.

Mr Methane's predecessor Le Pétomane could play tunes and do animal impersonations...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane
« Last Edit: 15/07/2008 22:45:40 by RD »

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blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #18 on: 15/07/2008 22:46:23 »
So would his audience all be able to take him to court for farting in an aggressive way?

They might try but his defense would be that he was farting in an entertaining way and that they knew that when they bought their tickets.

Some lawyer would take it on though - you know what lawyers say: "Win some, lose some - just so long as we get paid for all of them". [;D]

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #19 on: 15/07/2008 22:47:43 »
I'm reminded of a business anecdote.

Some years back, GEC merged with Plessey Telecom to form GPT. Unfortunately, in France GPT is pronounced the same as J'ai pété which means "I farted"
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Offline RD

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« Reply #20 on: 15/07/2008 22:54:59 »
Some years back, GEC merged with Plessey Telecom to form GPT.
Unfortunately, in France GPT is pronounced the same as J'ai pété which means "I farted"

A similar thing occurred with the Toyota MR2 in France: MR2 = "merdeux" ...
http://www.toyota-mr2-turbo-performance-parts.com/toyota-mr2.html
« Last Edit: 16/07/2008 03:27:15 by RD »

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Offline ukmicky

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #21 on: 16/07/2008 18:48:41 »
It would be a hard one to prove,its not like you could collect some as evidence.

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #22 on: 16/07/2008 18:58:12 »
Air sampling for polutants is the easy bit. Proving it was deliberate is a challenge. Come to think of it you would also have to prove who was responsible. I have visions of some lawyers earnestly discussing the idea the "you smelt it; you dealt it".

I heard the the Euro is an unfortunate name for a currency somewhere in Europe. I think it was Greece. Any Greek speakers out there?
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Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #23 on: 16/07/2008 20:38:50 »
Billy Connoly thought that it would be much funnier that when a person farts, instead of the usual raspberry noise, your bum should say "fart" in your accent, that way everyone would know who dealt it.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #24 on: 16/07/2008 21:10:11 »
... that way everyone would know who dealt it.

Everybody usually does know who dealt it!  [^]

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Offline ukmicky

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #25 on: 17/07/2008 17:40:23 »
Mine are like the silent shockers :)

As far as the question goes someone farting as an act of nature i very much doubt could be found guilty of a crime. If someone were to hold it in and then deliberatly let loose amongst a group of people with the intent to offend or harrass then that would be different but still hard to prove if it was a deliberate act.
« Last Edit: 17/07/2008 17:58:05 by ukmicky »

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #26 on: 17/07/2008 19:23:35 »
Lawyer
"I put it to you that you deliberately, and with malice aforethought, farted with a view to offend or harass the plaintiff."
Defendant
"No, it's just that I had had beans for tea."
That's just never going to be heard in any court.
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paul.fr

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #27 on: 17/07/2008 20:55:13 »
Lawyer
"I put it to you that you deliberately, and with malice aforethought, farted with a view to offend or harass the plaintiff."
Defendant
"No, it's just that I had had beans for tea."
That's just never going to be heard in any court.

Q; are there really 57 varieties?

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blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #28 on: 17/07/2008 21:19:03 »
Mine are like the silent shockers :)

aka the 'eggy drifter'.

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Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #29 on: 17/07/2008 21:54:45 »
I manage to blame them on dogs,cats and small children. I have never farted in anger though but I think I could part peoples hair with my deadly weapon.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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paul.fr

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #30 on: 17/07/2008 22:03:38 »
Like the Queen, i never pass wind.

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Offline Salamander

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #31 on: 18/07/2008 04:05:05 »
Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more your eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's have beans at every meal!

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #32 on: 18/07/2008 08:23:57 »
Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more your eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's have beans at every meal!

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #33 on: 18/07/2008 08:27:01 »
Lawyer
"I put it to you that you deliberately, and with malice aforethought, farted with a view to offend or harass the plaintiff."
Defendant
"No, it's just that I had had beans for tea."
That's just never going to be heard in any court.

Q; are there really 57 varieties?

Here's what Heinz says about it...

Our corporate history tells us that in 1896, Henry John Heinz noticed an advertisement for "21 styles of shoes." He decided that his own products were not styles, but varieties. Although there were many more than 57 foods in production at the time, because the numbers "5" and "7" held a special significance for him and his wife, he adopted the slogan "57" Varieties.

So, the number 57 isn't related to the number of products offered by Heinz. It is interesting to note, however, that the company currently sells 5,700 varieties in 200 countries and territories.
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Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #34 on: 19/07/2008 17:14:22 »
Fartalishus
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline opus

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« Reply #35 on: 24/07/2008 00:03:13 »
it's not just cows- some of us apparently produce a large amount of methane. If you give people antibiotics, they produce less methane- could this be a solution for the cows too?

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Offline stevewillie

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« Reply #36 on: 30/09/2008 10:46:43 »
There are jurisdictions in the USA where it is in fact illegal "to disturb the peace by willful flatulence." I believe there are similar laws in Singapore. The traveler would do well to be informed about the local laws lest they have an unpleasant experience. I plan to write a pamphlet listing all the places in the world where public farting is forbidden (or regulated) so that the traveler is duly warned.
« Last Edit: 30/09/2008 11:02:09 by stevewillie »