What's the correct way to climb over a gate?

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Offline turnipsock

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« on: 19/02/2009 22:55:32 »
I have noticed on two occasions on the Drink For Britain program on the BBC, hosted by James May (motoring expert) and Oz Clark (wine ponce), that May always climbs over gates wrongly. He is supposed to be the one who is technically minded in the Top Gear team, but twice he has climbed over gates wrongly...even by the law of averages he would get it right once.


A gate.


May...a townie?
« Last Edit: 23/02/2009 08:06:58 by chris »
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Offline John Chapman

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #1 on: 20/02/2009 00:41:53 »
Go on then. What's the correct way to climb over a gate?

Surely if pre-climb you are on one side of the gate and post-climb you are on the other then it's mission accomplished. Job well done!

Clever old James May! He'll be learning how to brush his hair next.
« Last Edit: 20/02/2009 00:43:41 by John Chapman »

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Offline John Chapman

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #2 on: 20/02/2009 00:51:23 »
Come to that, what's the wrong way to climb a gate?

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #3 on: 20/02/2009 02:57:55 »
Don't squash your bits.

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Offline dentstudent

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #4 on: 20/02/2009 07:40:21 »
Is he talking about climbing it hinge-end, so there is less leverage imparted?

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #5 on: 20/02/2009 07:42:14 »
Why is he climbing gates in the first place? [???][???][???]
Are they not meant to be opened?

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Offline Don_1

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #6 on: 20/02/2009 07:55:24 »
Why is he climbing gates in the first place? [???][???][???]
Are they not meant to be opened?

So that's what the hinges are for! Would this apply to my front door? I must admit to being a tad pee'd off squeezing through the letter box every time I want to go out or come in.
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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #7 on: 20/02/2009 07:57:19 »
I suppose he climbs them to make himself look athletic/fit?

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blakestyger

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #8 on: 20/02/2009 09:39:24 »
We used the gate vault when younger but if you have to climb the thing make sure it's on the end with the hinges - this puts less strain on it.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #9 on: 20/02/2009 11:03:19 »
Get a pole and vault over the gate!

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Offline John Chapman

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #10 on: 20/02/2009 12:11:07 »

So that's what the hinges are for! Would this apply to my front door? I must admit to being a tad pee'd off squeezing through the letter box every time I want to go out or come in.

With a skill like that have you ever thought about becoming a gynecologist!

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Offline Don_1

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #11 on: 20/02/2009 12:22:12 »
Jeepers, what a good idea!!!
If brains were made of dynamite, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose.

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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #12 on: 20/02/2009 18:31:31 »
My friend is a gynecologist. He decorates his hall through the letterbox!
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Offline turnipsock

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #13 on: 24/02/2009 23:35:02 »


last episode tonight and he did it again! Its as bad as all these TV chefs that stir everything anticlockwise (therefore invoking the devil).
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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #14 on: 25/02/2009 03:05:14 »
Well since you keep saying that he is doing it wrong, how it is meant to be done?

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Offline John Chapman

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #15 on: 25/02/2009 08:20:54 »
Hi turnipsock

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you. Surely you are aware that the BBC only chose the name of James May's TV program, Top Gear, because it is an anagram of 'Gate Pro'. Everyone knows that. You have to be an expert gate climber just to appear on the program.

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #16 on: 25/02/2009 08:24:35 »
'Gate Pro' [:D]!?!? Really? [:D][:D] Heehee....

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Offline John-S

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #17 on: 25/02/2009 09:42:18 »
As with most things, when you pass through or over someone else's gate, do it with courtesy. So if the gate's unlocked and openable, go through it and if it was shut when you arrived, shut it behind you. If you have to climb over (e.g. because it's locked - and that doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't allowed in, it may just be easier to climb over than to go and get the key) then climb over at the hinge end because that puts far less leverage on the hinges which are sized for the weight of the gate, not for the extra weight of you on the far end!

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Offline rosalind dna

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #18 on: 25/02/2009 15:24:14 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.
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She discovered the Single DNA Helix in 1953, then it was taken by Wilkins without her knowledge or agreeement.

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Offline Bored chemist

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #19 on: 25/02/2009 18:25:44 »
Anyone who designs a gate and its hinges so that they won't take the weight of some fool climbing over it (at either end) isn't a competent designer.
However in a couple of instances during the series one or other of the pair of presenters has climed over the gate, then been followed by the other one who had the brains to open it. I think May was the climber in both cases.
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Offline Madidus_Scientia

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #20 on: 25/02/2009 18:35:05 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.


Are you sure it's a mirror image? If so then why?

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Offline rosalind dna

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #21 on: 25/02/2009 21:46:25 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.


Are you sure it's a mirror image? If so then why?

Because we are seeing James May clamber over the fence gates from the eye view of a camera and that is why.

Same as I have said for a TV chef's anti-clockwise stirring actions, if we were watching some one in their kitchen then they would be stirring a pan from the opposite angle.

Try it in a mirror. 
Rosalind Franklin was my first cousin and one my life's main regrets is that I never met this brilliant and beautiful lady.
She discovered the Single DNA Helix in 1953, then it was taken by Wilkins without her knowledge or agreeement.

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Offline techmind

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #22 on: 25/02/2009 22:04:24 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.

I hope Rosalind is deliberately pulling some legs!  [:)]


Television and photographs aren't normally reproduced as mirror-images...

You don't really think they have to make the studio-clock, weather maps, and any other props "backwards" surely!!!

<checks it's not 1st April>
« Last Edit: 25/02/2009 22:13:13 by techmind »
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Offline Evie

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #23 on: 25/02/2009 22:10:22 »
Indeed! TV can flip the image if they want; it's a technique used often in editing. But it's not normally that way.

And even if it was flipped, that wouldn't change the gate controversy. The hinges wouldn't jump to the other side of the gate just because the picture is flipped.
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Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
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Offline John Chapman

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #24 on: 26/02/2009 00:08:00 »

I hope Rosalind is deliberately pulling some legs!  [:)]


No, it's true! TV completely changes the way everything looks. I once bumped into Jamie Oliver in my local Kwik Save store and in real life he looks just like my Mum. Strangely, he was with my Dad at the time and was asking about my eczema ........



.......Here, you don't think the lying bastard was only pretending to be Jamie Oliver do you? I always thought he looked shifty on those Sainsbury commercials
 
« Last Edit: 26/02/2009 00:11:35 by John Chapman »

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Offline Bored chemist

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #25 on: 26/02/2009 07:07:23 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.

How come you can read the street signs?
Please disregard all previous signatures.

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Offline rosalind dna

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #26 on: 26/02/2009 12:29:03 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.

How come you can read the street signs?

BC I can't drive so read the road signs as I'm walking towards them.
Rosalind Franklin was my first cousin and one my life's main regrets is that I never met this brilliant and beautiful lady.
She discovered the Single DNA Helix in 1953, then it was taken by Wilkins without her knowledge or agreeement.

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James May

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #27 on: 27/02/2009 09:10:52 »
Hello. This is James May here. The slightly awkward one from Top Gear with a silly haircut and the cute button nose. I used to be call James Definitely-Will, but the BBC made me change my name to James May because they said it was more in keeping with my insipid and indecisive personality.

John Chapman is absolutely right. We are all made up to look completely different on TV. In fact, the BBC actually only has 3 presenters – the rest is all done with make-up. Ann Robinson, for instance, is actually a 6’ 3” ex rugby player called Bob. And he’s black. Me? I am actually James May, Carol Vorderman, several newsreaders and one of the Blue Peter cats. I am also the voice of Kat Arney.

I should point out that the bumbling James May is just a character I play. In real life, my sophisticated repartee, razor sharp wit and youthful athletic body make me very popular with the showbiz ladies enabling me to have secret affairs with such Hollywood beauties as Kiera Knightly.

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Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #28 on: 27/02/2009 09:13:37 »
I’ll give him ‘cute button nose’, the sad deluded bastard. Pass me a gun, someone!

I mean, he’s not exactly got the sexual charisma of (sigh) Brad Pitt or (bigger sigh) Chemistry4Me, has he? Actually, while we’re on the subject, my mate Angelina Jolie who knows how much I fancy him says I should just ask outright:

Have you got any chemistry for me, Chemistry4Me?

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Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #29 on: 27/02/2009 09:14:47 »
Hi Chemsy

That slapper Angelina has just been on the phone. Honestly, she can’t ever find her own man. Just ask Jennifer Aniston. Anyway, she wants to know, have you got a spare clone and would we like to make up a foursome with them. She said we could mix ‘n’ match at the end of the night. Honestly, she’s like a bitch on heat. What do you think, Chemsibaby?

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Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #30 on: 27/02/2009 09:16:15 »
Bleedin’ hell they’re all jumping on the bandwagon. I’ve just had Cameron Diaz on the phone now. She and Halle Berry want to come too. Courtney Cox wants your body. And Jodie Foster wants to know if your wife’s invited. This is turning into an orgy. Especially with that hussy Angelina Involved. She doesn’t necessarily even stick to one species, let alone one gender!

Should I let them all come, Chemsibooboo?

How many of us can you handle?

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #31 on: 27/02/2009 09:23:20 »


Goodness me Keira Knightly! I am humbled that you have appeared out of nowhere and graced this forum with your er...girlfriends.

Wanna come to my house? We can have a party!


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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #32 on: 27/02/2009 09:25:37 »
How many of us can you handle?
Errrr....

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #33 on: 27/02/2009 09:29:43 »


Of course Kiera, tell all of your friends to come over! [:)]

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #34 on: 27/02/2009 10:47:31 »
Btw, hi James May, nice to meet you. Honoured to meet you actually!

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Offline dentstudent

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #35 on: 27/02/2009 11:28:47 »
Why would you want to climb over this anyway?

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #36 on: 27/02/2009 11:31:06 »
Eh? [???][???][???]
Climb over mossgate? [???]

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Offline dentstudent

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #37 on: 27/02/2009 12:18:14 »
Moss agate! Agate is a type of quartz (IIRC!).

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #38 on: 27/02/2009 22:39:43 »
Whoa, dentstudent, you are actually online! [:)]

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Brad Pitt

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #39 on: 01/03/2009 16:17:49 »
Oi! You! Chemistry4me. This is Brad Pitt here. I’ve heard all about you coming on to my wife, trying to sully her innocence with one of your sordid swinging parties. Angy is pure and virtuous and chaste and immaculate and uncorrupted and angelic and exemplary and faithful and…….
(5 minutes later)
……untarnished and prudish and if you ever come near her again I’m coming over there to shove a kiwi up your…...
(etc, etc)


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Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #40 on: 01/03/2009 16:20:35 »
Oh Chems how could you! Brad’s told me all about you and Angelina.

You made me love you and then trampled all over my feelings before heartlessly casting me aside. And after I gave so much of myself to you! You bastard, I’m never going to speak to you again. It’s goodbye -  I’m going back to James May.


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James May

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #41 on: 01/03/2009 16:22:06 »
I won in the end. Adios forever, Suckers!

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James May

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #42 on: 01/03/2009 16:24:55 »
And you can stick your gate up your bum!

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #43 on: 02/03/2009 02:40:27 »
Wtf!?!?! Where on Earth do all these people come from!?!?! [???][???][???]

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #44 on: 02/03/2009 02:41:00 »
And why are you all picking on me!?!?!

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Offline John Chapman

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #45 on: 02/03/2009 11:09:10 »
It's your personal magnetism. You just bring out the animal in people. [;D] What's your secret?

Fancy blowing it with all those Hollywood beauties before you got to have the night of every man's fantasies. We were all hoping for an invite! So close and yet so far! So wrong and yet so right!
« Last Edit: 02/03/2009 11:21:11 by John Chapman »

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Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #46 on: 03/03/2009 02:47:34 »
Oh please John Chapman, don't you start! [;)]