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This has been observed and proved by experiment
I suppose the only way to prove it one way or another would be to very rapidly eliminate the mass of a rather massive body and observe the results.Unfortunately, it seems the only way to eliminate the mass of a massive body is to convert all of its mass into energy in a fairly short time, so it's unlikely anyone, or anything, would survive the experiment and be able to report on the results.
the only way to measure the "speed" of gravity would be to create or destroy the mass and then measure ....
which one is faster,speed of light or speed of gravity?
Vern, by new theory I mean anything outside of the textbook definitions. The theory you're suggesting is outside of the textbook definitions since you seem to be suggesting that electromagnetism is the cause of gravity. There is certainly room for alternative theories, but I think it's important that when posters ask a question, they get the standard textbook answer first. Once they understand the textbook answer and why it's accepted, then they can better judge whether new theories offer a better explanation. Every new theory is founded on a very solid understanding of the existing theories.
If mass and EM energy are the same(E=MC²),..
Mass is a property of matter. I think you mean to say that matter can't travel faster than light (nothing can), and matter with non-zero mass requires infinite energy to even travel at the speed of light, which is physically impossible.