[Geezer (OP)]

Someone (who shall remain nameless but for the purposes of argument we will refer to as a Mrs G) told me, shortly after she had unleashed a ripper in bed last night, that we emit a couple of litres every day.

Under the circumstances I didn't think it was wise to question Mrs G on the veracity of this information, but I immediately started wondering how on Earth these data were obtained.

Are these theoretical estimates based on biology and chemistry, or are they actual measurements, and if they are actual measurements, what kind of paraphernalia was used during their acquisition?

(Mrs G proposed the use of a "fartometer", whatever that is.)

[RD]

(Mrs G proposed the use of a "fartometer", whatever that is.)

Surely "Gas tank" ...

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

In a bid to understand the impact of the wind produced by cows on global warming,
 scientists collected gas from their stomachs in plastic tanks attached to their backs.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2274995/Cow-farts*-collected-in-plastic-tank-for-global-warming-study.html

* "cow farts" is misleading as more methane comes out the front of a cow ...

Frank Mitloehner, a University of California, Davis, professor who places cows in air-tight tent enclosures and measures what he calls their “eruptions,” says the average cow expels — through burps mostly, but some flatulence — 200 to 400 pounds of methane a year.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/05/us/05cows.html

[Geezer (OP)]

Oh sh*t! I hope methane is heavier than air. It's bad enough with the pigeons.

Last thing we need is a bunch of cows circling overhead.