[moonfire]

Oh my!  I see that there are cops and robbers loosely running around here...stealing some words and funning with me..oh, babe..this saturday night I can be free...if you can lose Denny, we can run around the fountains and play...hehe  Neilsy, you are such a thief!  LOL  Okay I will share him with you...or do you want to come out and play too?

"Lo" Loretta

[4getmenot (OP)]

I hear a party starting...and i "love" it...lol

k

[moonfire]

K, there is plenty to go around...don't you feel love in the air now...awwwww, scratch that, it is only a fantasy!  Never wake me up out of it!

"Lo" Loretta

[4getmenot (OP)]

lol....i see that and i promise not to...(for now) he he

k

[4getmenot (OP)]

I hear a party starting...and i "love" it...lol

k

[moonfire]

K, there is plenty to go around...don't you feel love in the air now...awwwww, scratch that, it is only a fantasy!  Never wake me up out of it!

"Lo" Loretta

[4getmenot (OP)]

lol....i see that and i promise not to...(for now) he he

k

[moonfire]

Here you go K!  Something special I wrote on a few minutes ago thinking about the way my perspective is...ick!  LOL

When we fall in love with someone or make a new friend, we sometimes see that person in a glowing light. Their good qualities dominate the foreground of our perception and their negative qualities. They just don't seem to have any. This temporary state of grace is commonly known as putting someone on a pedestal. Often times we put spiritual leaders and our gurus on pedestals. We have all done this to someone at one time or another, and as long as we remember that no one is actually "perfect," the pedestal phase of a relationship can be enjoyed for what it is-a phase. It's when we actually believe our own projection that troubles arise.

Everyone has problems, flaws, and blind spots, just as we do. When we entertain the illusion that someone is perfect, we don't allow them room to be human, so when they make an error in judgment or act in contradiction to our idea of perfection, we become disillusioned. We may get angry or distance ourselves in response. In the end, they are not to blame for the fact that we idealized them. Granted, they may have enjoyed seeing themselves as perfect through our eyes, but we are the ones who chose to believe an illusion. If you go through this process enough times, you learn that no one is perfect. We are all a combination of divine and human qualities and we all struggle. When we treat the people we love with this awareness, we actually allow for a much greater intimacy than when we held them aloft on an airy throne. The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is.

We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. In life, there are no pedestals-we are all walking on the same ground together. When we realize this, we can own our own divinity and our humanity. This is the key to balance and wholeness within ourselves and our relationships.

"Lo" Loretta

[lightarrow]

quote:Originally posted by moonfire
...The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is...

I don't agree. I accept the fact that the way we see another person can change, you could say "it evolves". But we can never see how our loved one really is. Objectivity doesn't apply here.

[thayo]

love is bidirectional feature of a living being as the real love is seen when there is reciprocation of love/.

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world

[another_someone]

quote:Originally posted by lightarrow

quote:Originally posted by moonfire
...The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is...

I don't agree. I accept the fact that the way we see another person can change, you could say "it evolves". But we can never see how our loved one really is. Objectivity doesn't apply here.

This is probably true of anything – we only see things filtered through our emotions and our expectations – which is why eye witness reports are always so unreliable as objective evidence.

George

[another_someone]

quote:Originally posted by thayo
love is bidirectional feature of a living being as the real love is seen when there is reciprocation of love

Is it?

It is very difficult to sustain love if it is not reciprocated, but a parent may continue to love their child even if it is not reciprocated.

George

[moonfire]

quote:Originally posted by lightarrow

quote:Originally posted by moonfire
...The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is...

I don't agree. I accept the fact that the way we see another person can change, you could say "it evolves". But we can never see how our loved one really is. Objectivity doesn't apply here.

You can never see how your loved one really is???  hmm, true one one side of the coin, but is it really evolving???  I think it is the same as this person really is the same as before, but changed for a moment and returns to whom they really are...they have not changed.  Just my perception which maybe jaded at the moment...

"Lo" Loretta

[thayo]

Loretta, human beings could changed but the environment where geniune love prevails, it stands to be invulnerable, appreciate this with me

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world

[Karen W.]

I love,Love,and know nobody anywhere that doesnt like or enjoy some form of love. I married when I was 20 to a man 27, we had dated 1 year and lived together one year. We thought we were so in love. And indeed we loved each other and still do, but there was never passion or real Romantic love with  the exception of the 1rst year that spark and romance that some need just wasn't there and never has been.

  The minds comming together in mutual respect and like. I was never giddy, but nervous yes as experiences in my past had left me nervous with men in general. We spent all our time together but rarely talking. Mostly cuddling and being affectionate. All great but we never got inside each others head as one should do that when they find their true love. To this day 25 years into my marraige my husband cannot go out and order a meal or buy a gift or even remember my birthday or our wedding Anniversary. It does me a disservice that in all these years, he does not know me any better then that.
  Someone who knows you and can say honey please don't cry, and not even be able to hear you or know from seeing that you have begun to cry...someone that knows your heart and and knows how you are going to react to something before you say it....its really extrordinary when you think about it... that doesnt come from years of being together, It simply comes from true love and understanding of your partner. Knowing whats in there hearts because you have taken the time to listen and and hear what lies inside of them....  Everyone has their own private thoughts and we can never know every one, but we indeed , like the seasons have our own way of developing feelings of love evolving regularly. Changing like the seasons  love has many faces and it comes in so many ways to each of us. We must be faithful to our hearts. For if we don't we become bitter sad humans and pain lives deep inside of bitterness and eats away at you untill you have lost your self respect and repect for others too. You loose your focus your own  values and sight of your dreams. Everday functioning becomes difficult silence becomes  a prison and a dronning reminder of your unhappiness.. and heartache.

Karen

[moonfire]

quote:Originally posted by thayo

Loretta, human beings could changed but the environment where geniune love prevails, it stands to be invulnerable, appreciate this with me

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world

I do appreciate this with you and this is an interesting thought here Thayo!  Thanks![]

"Lo" Loretta

[moonfire]

Wow!  Karen, that is deep!  You described it very well as a marriage of friendly convenience.  I know love, have had love, but guess I cannot hold onto love.  For whatever reason, I think unrealistically some of us live in a fantasy world surrounding it...I don't believe in fairy tails and maybe my view is tainted because of my recent past relationship...but I go in with realistic expectations and when I view others from the outside, things look so perfect, so magical, and more...but I still wonder what is really behind that door if it is as true as they say...oh, well, if not then it is a lie they have to live with...

"Lo" Loretta

[Karen W.]

I love,Love,and know nobody anywhere that doesnt like or enjoy some form of love. I married when I was 20 to a man 27, we had dated 1 year and lived together one year. We thought we were so in love. And indeed we loved each other and still do, but there was never passion or real Romantic love with  the exception of the 1rst year that spark and romance that some need just wasn't there and never has been.

  The minds comming together in mutual respect and like. I was never giddy, but nervous yes as experiences in my past had left me nervous with men in general. We spent all our time together but rarely talking. Mostly cuddling and being affectionate. All great but we never got inside each others head as one should do that when they find their true love. To this day 25 years into my marraige my husband cannot go out and order a meal or buy a gift or even remember my birthday or our wedding Anniversary. It does me a disservice that in all these years, he does not know me any better then that.
  Someone who knows you and can say honey please don't cry, and not even be able to hear you or know from seeing that you have begun to cry...someone that knows your heart and and knows how you are going to react to something before you say it....its really extrordinary when you think about it... that doesnt come from years of being together, It simply comes from true love and understanding of your partner. Knowing whats in there hearts because you have taken the time to listen and and hear what lies inside of them....  Everyone has their own private thoughts and we can never know every one, but we indeed , like the seasons have our own way of developing feelings of love evolving regularly. Changing like the seasons  love has many faces and it comes in so many ways to each of us. We must be faithful to our hearts. For if we don't we become bitter sad humans and pain lives deep inside of bitterness and eats away at you untill you have lost your self respect and repect for others too. You loose your focus your own  values and sight of your dreams. Everday functioning becomes difficult silence becomes  a prison and a dronning reminder of your unhappiness.. and heartache.

Karen

[moonfire]

quote:Originally posted by thayo

Loretta, human beings could changed but the environment where geniune love prevails, it stands to be invulnerable, appreciate this with me

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world

I do appreciate this with you and this is an interesting thought here Thayo!  Thanks![]

"Lo" Loretta

[moonfire]

Wow!  Karen, that is deep!  You described it very well as a marriage of friendly convenience.  I know love, have had love, but guess I cannot hold onto love.  For whatever reason, I think unrealistically some of us live in a fantasy world surrounding it...I don't believe in fairy tails and maybe my view is tainted because of my recent past relationship...but I go in with realistic expectations and when I view others from the outside, things look so perfect, so magical, and more...but I still wonder what is really behind that door if it is as true as they say...oh, well, if not then it is a lie they have to live with...

"Lo" Loretta