[Seany (OP)]

OK. Seany has been a naughty boy. I have caused mischief!! Help appreciated here.

Ok, 2 days ago or so.. During break, there was a pencil on the floor.. Having nothing else to do, I used the pencil and wrote my friends name on a building's wall! So, my friend wrote "Sean is gay" on the wall.. However, one of the teachers saw him doing so, and noted his name!!

Today, the word got transferred to Mr Jelly, a retarded geography teacher and deputy headmaster, and he had a word with my friend. My friend said that I was involved in it too, so Mr Jelley talked with me as well. He asked me what my friend was doing, and I didn't want to get him in trouble, so I said that he was merely rubbing something off the wall which was written on there. He asked me what it was that was written on there, and I said that I think it was his name. He asked me whether I knew who wrote it, and I said that I didn't know. If I had told him that I had written it, it would have resulted in my friend getting in trouble, as then it would have resulted in the "sean is gay" incident. I didn't tell him about him writing anything, just the fact that he was rubbing something off.

Anyway, he asked me again whether it was not me who wrote it, and I said it wasn't, although it was.. Yes.. I lied.. But.. I thought it was for the good.. Then he said that if he found out I was lying, I would get into serious trouble.. I turned round and walked away, with a bit of uncertainty..

Then, Mr Jelley talked with my friend again. I was back in my classroom at that time, so I didn't hear this conversation, but my friend told me what happened after.. Apparently, he told Mr Jelley that it was me who wrote his name on the wall. D'OH!

He hasn't talked to me yet. It was the end of the day, so I managed to creep out without seeing him. But I saw him outside, with my friend, and my friend was showing him where the marking was on the wall, before it was rubbed off with my friend's sleeves. Anyway, tomorrow, he's going to talk to me.

I don't really care. Thinking from outside this little box, I realise that it is actually a minor thing. It was only a few words written on a wall, which you cannot even see anymore - vandalism which has been rubbed off! But our deputy headmaster is soooo into this stuff, and hates all this business. I guess I have my faults too.

What should I say though when I meet him? That I lied, because I didn't want my friend to get into trouble? (He hasn't got into trouble, just me..)

Or, that I really didn't write the name.. But it was written there anyway, but I pointed it out to my friend, and he thought that I had written it..   But I don't want to lie again..

I know the best thing is to own up.. Right? Anyway, what more can I get than a little scorn, detention and a conduct? (Conducts are little points that go in your end of term report, which are bad points to earn. Merits on the other hand, are good points.)

[Seany (OP)]

I have just realised how sad (pathetic) this whole thing is.. But.. All the teachers hate me! Well.. Not being full of myself, but I am the cleverest in the school (top year though).. And I don't know why, but the teachers think that I should set a standard, or be a goody-goody.. Which I'm not. I act as all my other friends, even the ones who are naughty and cause lots of trouble. So, if one of my friends does something bad, and I do the exact same thing in a couple of months or so, my friend gets let off with it, whilst they make me have a detention and/or more.

I think it's unfair, but that is how it is..

Gwrr.. I feel stupider now. Nevermind.

[kdlynn]

i have found that you always get in far less trouble if you just tell the truth

[Seany (OP)]

Yes.. Unfortunately, I didn't tell the truth at the beginning! Which got me into this mess.. But how shall I get out of it.. Tell what actually happened? Then I'll get my friend into trouble, who has managed to get out of trouble but placed me in it!

[paul.fr]

Seany,

you have two options. you either tell the whole truth, and hope you are belived - you may not be, it may be thought that you are now trying to shift the blame. Or you come up with a good get out.

Whilst school is for learning, it also teaches you right from wrong - or should. it is up to you to take this in. Saying that, pranks are also a way of life at school. I will not tell you what we used to get up to, lets just say i was on first name terms with the cane, slipper, hand and all other form of punishment.

strangely enough, i remember being beaten at school by the teachers quite vividly. even stranger they are some of the highlights!

If i was you though, i would confess the truth with your reasons and just take any punishment given. It is tough being the "top of the class", you are looked up on to set an example. This also happens in adulthood, it can suck but also has it's benefits.

[another_someone]

I have just realised how sad (pathetic) this whole thing is.. But.. All the teachers hate me! Well.. Not being full of myself, but I am the cleverest in the school (top year though).. And I don't know why, but the teachers think that I should set a standard, or be a goody-goody.. Which I'm not. I act as all my other friends, even the ones who are naughty and cause lots of trouble. So, if one of my friends does something bad, and I do the exact same thing in a couple of months or so, my friend gets let off with it, whilst they make me have a detention and/or more.

I think it's unfair, but that is how it is..

Gwrr.. I feel stupider now. Nevermind.

Not sure if it is as simple as that, although I can understand why it might seem so.

It may well be, as you suggest, that they expect you to behave better than the other kids; but that implies to me that they do actually have a very high level of regard and respect for you, and thus maybe are a little more disappointed when you do something bad than when somebody else does.

I know that personally, when someone I respect does something wrong, I feel let down; when someone I have no regard for at all does something wrong, I just shrug my shoulders and say "what do you expect from that so and so", because I really had not expected more.

OK, teachers should not have favorites, and in an ideal world, should expect the same of all; but they are human beings too, and maybe for all of that, they do expect more of you because they believe you have the potential to give more.

I know this does not help with regard to this particular incident; but maybe a view on the bigger picture.

[Seany (OP)]

Thanks George. I think that I should go see him first thing in the morning. Even though he may be angry, I think that he would be less angry then. Even if I get a punishment. Who cares.

[ukmicky]

Very wise words George.



_______________________________________________________________________________-
Seany we all do silly things when we grow up and things usually work out better when we admit to things in the first instance rather than lying and being caught out later.

Lying about it even more will just cause you more problems if he catches you out and as he has already caught you lying once if he catches you out again then it may take a long time for him to trust you again in the future. 

Your best bet is to go see the deputy head first thing hopefully before your friend gets in and tell him you have been feeling bad all night because you lied and that you did write your friends name on the wall and that you were very sorry and understand that he must punish you for what you did. And then take your punishment like a man, sorry young man.. 

If he says have you seen your friend today if you get in before him you can tell him that you haven't without lying. If he asks you if your friend has told you that he told him everything then your answer depends exactly on what your friend has told him and you need to be sure. As long as your friend hasn't told him that he saw you write his name on the wall or didn't see you, you can take your option and say you didn't write your friends name on the wall but pretended to your friend that you did as a joke.

Only you will know which option to take and you are a clever young man so you should be able to work out what steps are best this time . We cant help you by telling you what to say ,we can only help with showing you your options as we see it but even then we may get them wrong. Be sure of your actions , if you are not sure which one to take then the third option is to wait until you are called before him.

Goodluck

[Seany (OP)]

Hmm.. If I say that I pretended that I did write it.. That means I am lying.. Thus, it is taking a risk. One, that you will get into no trouble at all. Two, that you will get into dead trouble.. Is it worth the risk?

And if I go up to him first morning and say that I did it. I am defenseless. I have no excuse whatsoever. I can't say that I lied to try and cover up my friend, because then that means that my friend did something wrong. But since my friend has already made me get the trouble by saying I did it (I didn't tell the deputy head that he wrote anything, just the fact that he rubbed something off), should I use him to get out of mine aswell? I think that is a bit selfish.. But if I just go in, aren't I a piece of meat in a lion's cage?

But I could just go down like a man.

[ukmicky]

Whats the right thing to do. ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THAT DECISION

[Seany (OP)]

Any help with that decision though? []

[paul.fr]

Confess all.

[ukmicky]

Sometimes you've got to be a man to be a man 


Sean?y, It wouldn't be right for us to tell you what to do other than the course of action  which involves you telling the truth. To do anything else would be wrong as we could tell you to do something which could cause you more problems than you have now.

Sorry

[Seany (OP)]

Thanks. Hope it goes well. Heehee

[Carolyn]

I agree with Michael Seany...we can't tell you what to do...but if it were me I would tell the whole truth and face the consequences.  I know it's hard to be held to such a high standard, but the truth is they probably do look up to you and I'm sure the teachers do expect more from you.  Set an example in that you take your education seriously...BUT don't forget to be a kid!

[Carolyn]

Oh...and please let us know how it goes.

[kdlynn]

seany... i have twenty one younger cousins.. first cousins... so i know what it's like to have to try to behave to be the "example" in the long run, it'll be good for you! i promise

[Karen W.]

Seany.. Tell the truth....sometimes it hurts like crazy really crazy, but tell the truth anyway!

[moonfire]

Accept the consequences as it will only last for a short time.  The teachers do not hate you for one incident.  I had my moments and received demerits for talking quite a few times.  It frustrated many of my teachers and then received other consequences such as long essays, writing 1000's of sentences, and etc.  I did many odd things and didn't think I would get caught for ill behaviour, but somehow managed to get through it.  I felt very embarrassed when I fooled my 5th grade teacher into believing I belonged in Special Ed so I could play on all the computers....I kept the act up for at least a month.  I was so in trouble both at home and at school.  I had so much fun on speed reading machines(loved to read)and was reading well over 1000wpm and my comprehension level was topped out for the class.  I did find myself back into my GT class and huge trouble (disappointment from my dad)grounded to reading in my room(I loved to read so it was not that bad hehe)

It will be fine and even as adults we make wrong decisions sometimes. 

[kdlynn]

oh my gosh! one of my cousins just told his teacher he had adhd so he wouldn't get in trouble for not doing his homework. lol! that worked until parent teacher conferences