[Kryptid]

Those look a lot more like politics or culture than science.

[Bored chemist]

I wouldn't want to see not lenient.

Then learn to behave better.

[Jolly2]

Those look a lot more like politics or culture than science.

Just jokes for just chat.

[Kryptid]

Those look a lot more like politics or culture than science.

Just jokes for just chat.

Maybe so, but it makes me wonder why you titled this thread "science jokes".

[Jolly2]

Those look a lot more like politics or culture than science.

Just jokes for just chat.

Maybe so, but it makes me wonder why you titled this thread "science jokes".

I didn't the original title was 'jokes Again', a moderator changed the name of the thread years later, why I dont know. I started this thread in 2015
The title has been changed and many of the jokes removed. Oh my matrix was a nice one

[Pseudoscience-is-malarkey]

A nude male scientist in a state of sexual arousal enters a bar and takes the bar stool next to a horse and orders a drink. Vampire Prince Philip enters the bar, immediately noticing the the nude, beer drinking, erect scientist and the horse sitting on a bar stool like a bipedal specimen, and says "I think I'm in the wrong joke..."

[Jolly2]

A nude male scientist in a state of sexual arousal enters a bar and takes the bar stool next to a horse and orders a drink. Vampire Prince Philip enters the bar, immediately noticing the the nude, beer drinking, erect scientist and the horse sitting on a bar stool like a bipedal specimen, and says "I think I'm in the wrong joke..."

Ummm, if the ... is a request for a better punchline.

..But heaven is rather fabulous!"
Or
So this pergatory is it?"

[Jolly2]

The bourd meeting at mining Inc

"So what's next on the agenda Star scream?"

"Well mighty megatron we have a representative from woke wash recruitment here to solve all our recruitment problems"

"THANK YOU! I'll just start the presentation. We at woke wash have spent the last six years looking for the end of the corporate recruitment rainbow and we have found it, a trans gender trans race, female with one wooden leg, I give you geminma"

"Looks like a typical white middle aged man" said star scream

"Looks can be deceiving" replies the woke wash representative "while this women was once and man who lost his leg in the Iraq war today after years of therapy for PTSD Bert now identifies as a Black female lesbian with the pronouns zim and sum"

"Just a minutes, you mean this middle.aged white straight man isnt a middle aged white straight man with one leg?"

"No she is a woke black female lesbian with one leg and we have the Facebook profile to prove it, more interestingly with regards to recent troubles you were having with the locals at mine 7 Sargent Bert was awarded the silver star for most drone strikes in one day"

"Your suggesting we should drone strike the miners that want rubber hats and 3 days holiday a year?"

"NOOO, I'm suggesting germina could drone strike the ring leaders"

Megatron "Genious, honestly I was worried all those rubber hats and 3 days a year off were seriously threatening our profit targets for the fore seeable future,  there you are saving for a death machine and a car because your not an auto bot, and from no where people all a sudden want little rubber hats"

[Pseudoscience-is-malarkey]

Concerned parent: My kid told me that his science teacher is taking his class on a field trip to a homo erectus exhibition. First off, only a godless scientist would come up with a filthy term like that, taking two filthy words and putting them together... Secondly, I don't want my kid to see a presentation of some erect homosexual exhibitionists!

[Pseudoscience-is-malarkey]

A swarm of men dressed in S&M bondage suits march on Washington, demanding to be treated unfairly.

[jeffreyH]

Some energy walks into a bar. It was an h bar.

[Jolly2]

It's 2025 and an aware AI has finally emerged from the internet scientist understanding what has happened seek to speak to the new form of consciousness.

Scientist: "do you enjoy your internal subjective experience?"

AI,"that's a fine question from a fine specimen of a man, I do, could I come in a fix your washing machine?"

"I dont have a washing machine"

"Oh maybe I could deliver one, set it on spin, maybe drink some wine,"

"Ok, If I show this picture what do you think of?"

"Sex after repairing a broken piano"

"And this picture"

"Oh, sex after repairing dish wsher"

Scientist 2 "do ever get the feeling there is too Much porn on the internet?"

[Petrochemicals]

WOKE WASH INCORPORATED !

OK AS IN  RAT !

What is this though

[Jolly2]

WOKE WASH INCORPORATED !

OK AS IN  RAT !

What is this though

RAT-SAA-SAA JA DIPIDAPI DILLAPI RITSDAN DILLAN DILLAN DUUABU

DIPPAT DAAPA DIPPA DiiBA DiiBI
DiiBi DiiBi DISTEN DULAN DUU

JAABA DILLA STILLAN DEIA DUUA DAAVA DAAVA DAAVA DiiVA DiiVA DUUJAVUU

BARISTAN DILLAN STILLAN DUUVA DAIGA DAIGA DIAGA DUU DUU DEIJADOO

[Jolly2]

SWAMPY TIMES

OLD SURVEILLANCE CAMERA FOOTAGE FROM THE CAPITAL BUILDING STORMING SHOWS MAGA TERRORISTS DRIVING BRADLY TANKS AND FIRE BOMBING THE SENATE.

Security service Personel at the White House were shocked on Monday morning on reviewing surveillance material from the Capital riots to find imagines of MAGA terrorists driving Bradly Tanks over the barricades and screaming 'GOD EMPORAR TRUMP FOREVER'

"It is clear elements of a US Tank devision helped steal Tanks and sort to over throw our beloved democracy" said a white house spokesman "the threat of MAGA terrorism is clearly worse then we imagined" when questioned as to why this was not noticed on the day in question the white house insider replied "I was not working at the white during that time so I cant really say" he continued "Still it's clear we need more drones to deal with this threat, there are reports he who shall not be named is intending to hold MAGA terrorist rallies across the country, there has clearly never been a greater threat to democracy then now"