[neilep (OP)]

Dear Degree Accomplishers In Spermology,

As a sheepy I am course always interested in the nature of sperm.

From what I understand though it is actually not so easy for a girlie to get preggy.

Is it possible to work out the odds of conception ?..is there a mathematical formula.Presumably the number of sperm must attribute to the odds yes ?

so, how many sperm are in a typical ejaculate ? and although only one eventually does the deed, how many actually make it to the egg ?..or in other words how many don't make it anywhere close ?, and so what I really want to know is based on those figures, what are the odds of in fact one sperm doing the deed taking into consideration that it might take a number of tries and therefore the number of sperm increases  with each attempt !

Look here's some and they seem pretty stupid, despite the obvious wanton wench that the eggy is ?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


Thank ewe



neil
Executive Officer In Charge Of Asking The Above Question

mwah mwah mwah mwah
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Karen W.]

LOL LOL.. I have heard statistics on these questions you ask and the answer still evades my very forgetful mind.. sorry Neily... but love the the detailed little spermy talk! LOL!

[Karen W.]

Its looking like there are  Upwards of 100 million sperm expelled when a man ejaculates. I assume it takes one good swimmer to do the deed although I could be wrong...and I don't know the odds!

[neilep (OP)]

Its looking like there are  Upwards of 100 million sperm expelled when a man ejaculates. I assume it takes one good swimmer to do the deed although I could be wrong...and I don't know the odds!

Thanks Karen....I think I may have over elaborated my question with all mu ususal banal nonsence....When ewe take into consideration the average number of " acts " it takes to make one of ewe girlies preggy and multiply that by all the spermywermy I am sure the average odds are out there somewhere !

[Karen W.]

I am sure they are but some "girlies" get preggy with just a breath of warm air blown on their neck.. I swear!... LOL..Then others take years Like me! It took me four years in between my daughter and my eldest son.. and we never used any birth control but nothing ... nodda!

[Don_1]

Don't worry Neil, I'll have the answer for you in a while.

one, two, three, four, five, (oh no, what comes after five???) eleven, twelve, fifteen, sexteen (hehehehe) eighteen (old enough now), twenty

I hope you don't want this figure to be too accurate.

Now where was I, Oh yes, thirty eleven, thirty twelve.....................................................................................

[neilep (OP)]

Don't worry Neil, I'll have the answer for you in a while.

one, two, three, four, five, (oh no, what comes after five???) eleven, twelve, fifteen, sexteen (hehehehe) eighteen (old enough now), twenty

I hope you don't want this figure to be too accurate.

Now where was I, Oh yes, thirty eleven, thirty twelve.....................................................................................

[Don_1]

Three thousand four hundred and seventy two,
three thousand four hundred and seventy three

OH DAMN AND BLAST, NOW YOU MADE LOOSE MY PLACE, PLEASE DON'T INTERUPT AGAIN

One, two, three, four, five, (Takes mitten off other hand) seven, nine, six, fourteen, fiveteen, (takes off shoes & socks) twenteen, twenteen one, twenteen three, eleventy four, twelvty five, twelvty six........

[RD]

Once a sperm reaches the egg, (egg is fertilized), the egg puts up a barrier to prevent entry by other sperm (to prevent polyspermy).

[Don_1]

.................................................... eight million two hundred & thirty nine thousand seven hundred & thirty five,

KEEP BLOODY STILL WILL YOU!!!

Now where was I, ah yes, thirty nine million eight hundred thousand six hundred and sevvvwenteeeeee Aawwwwwwwww, ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

[Don_1]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Urh, erm fifty eight million six hundred & twelvty ten thousand ten hundred aaannnnndd shishtyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Don_1]

_zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Oh! is anyone looking  [?] nope, good I'll just flush this lot down the loo
AH!!! Right I have an answer for you, 90 million give or take a few hundred, sheesh talk about a hammer to crack a nut!!!! This is more like a pile driver to crush a grape!!!!

[neilep (OP)]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Urh, erm fifty eight million six hundred & twelvty ten thousand ten hundred aaannnnndd shishtyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*shouts out*...FIFTY EIGHT, NINETY THREE, FORTY SEVEN !! SEVENTY FIVE !

[neilep (OP)]

_zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Oh! is anyone looking  [?] nope, good I'll just flush this lot down the loo
AH!!! Right I have an answer for you, 90 million give or take a few hundred, sheesh talk about a hammer to crack a nut!!!! This is more like a pile driver to crush a grape!!!!

90 million eh?..are ewe sure ?...better check !..Karen said one hundred million !

[Don_1]

 [] one, two, three, four, five, six..........................................

[neilep (OP)]

[] one, two, three, four, five, six..........................................

*hugs the Don*


Ok...lets settle on 95 miilion little swimmers in each portion of man milk.....and just say for example that it takes 5 times to get a girly preggy , that's 475 million to one yes ?

In my very rough understanding of odds, the chances of anyone of us being here are very slim yes ? Presumably the next boy sperm would have made not me but someone else !..or I could have been a girly...and a right looker too !!

so, we're all pretty fortunate aren't we ?

With that in mind , I think it makes the chances (although slim) of winning the lottery even better !..I think it's 14 million to 1 (UK) !


With that in mind...shall I buy a ticket ?

[RD]

If you buy as many lottery tickets as there are sperm in ejaculate, then you are likely to win.

To paraphrase Dr Samuel Johnson: National lotteries are a tax on daftness.

[Make it Lady]

Did you know that ice down the undercrunchers before sex gives a higher likelihood of girl babies as the sperm slow down and swim slowly. The male sperm live short lives and so die before they reach the egg. Girl sperms live longer and reach the egg before dying.
If you want a boy get wifey to do a shoulder stand after sex. Gravity assists the faster swimming male sperm to reach the egg before the slower but more long lived girlies.

[neilep (OP)]

If you buy as many lottery tickets as there are sperm in ejaculate, then you are likely to win.

To paraphrase Dr Samuel Johnson: National lotteries are a tax on daftness.

yes, yes this is true but when ewe consider how unikely it is that we are here in the first place .....then the chances of winning the lottery improves !!..well...there is an ambiance of increased chance perhaps !


*DOH !..it's not gonna happen is it ?*

[neilep (OP)]

Did you know that ice down the undercrunchers before sex gives a higher likelihood of girl babies as the sperm slow down and swim slowly. The male sperm live short lives and so die before they reach the egg. Girl sperms live longer and reach the egg before dying.
If you want a boy get wifey to do a shoulder stand after sex. Gravity assists the faster swimming male sperm to reach the egg before the slower but more long lived girlies.

No, I did not know that sticking my joy department in the freezer will aid in the nurture of female offspring ?

I find it fascinating that just like humans, male sperm swim/run faster and live shorter !........fancy that !