Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

demografx · « **on:** 18/05/2010 14:56:41 »

First lesson of the day:

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.

Make it Lady · « **Reply #1 on:** 18/05/2010 21:16:09 »

Second lesson

A castrated pig gets disgruntled

Make it Lady · « **Reply #2 on:** 18/05/2010 21:17:08 »

Third Lesson

If your boyfriend goes out, get a match and light him again

Make it Lady · « **Reply #3 on:** 18/05/2010 21:18:52 »

Fourth Lesson

My hairdresser isn't cutting hair any longer, she is cutting it shorter though.

LeeE · « **Reply #4 on:** 19/05/2010 13:05:56 »

If it's a funny old world, why isn't everyone laughing?

Bored chemist · « **Reply #5 on:** 19/05/2010 19:19:06 »

If it's true that "you are what you eat" why are we not all new and improved?

demografx · « **Reply #6 on:** 19/05/2010 23:50:33 »

Thieves broke into New Scotland Yard last night and stole all the toilet bowls.

A police spokesman said that they have nothing to go on.

Make it Lady · « **Reply #7 on:** 20/05/2010 20:48:28 »

A big hole has developed onthe M3. Police are looking into it!

Make it Lady · « **Reply #8 on:** 20/05/2010 20:50:12 »

A man who stole a hold all in an airport asked for three other cases to be taken into consideration.

demografx · « **Reply #9 on:** 21/05/2010 06:48:43 »

You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.

LeeE · « **Reply #10 on:** 21/05/2010 16:14:45 »

Latest news: Elevator sent down in controversial court case!

Geezer · « **Reply #11 on:** 22/05/2010 04:00:54 »

With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.

Geezer · « **Reply #12 on:** 22/05/2010 04:16:50 »

Does dark matter?

Geezer · « **Reply #13 on:** 22/05/2010 04:24:59 »

If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?

JimBob · « **Reply #14 on:** 23/05/2010 00:38:19 »

Quote from: Geezer on 22/05/2010 04:24:59

If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?

Because most of us are scotched by that type of pun

demografx · « **Reply #15 on:** 24/05/2010 07:10:52 »

Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

demografx · « **Reply #16 on:** 24/05/2010 07:16:23 »

Quote from: Geezer on 22/05/2010 04:00:54

With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.

And with foresight??

Geezer · « **Reply #17 on:** 24/05/2010 08:19:36 »

Quote from: demografx on 24/05/2010 07:10:52

Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

That reminds me of another one.

"She was only an Admiral's daughter, but WOOP WOOP CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED WOOP WOOP"

demografx · « **Reply #18 on:** 24/05/2010 20:20:23 »

Quote from: Geezer on 24/05/2010 08:19:36

She was only an Admiral's daughter...

She was only a statistician's daughter, but she knew all the standard deviations.

Bored chemist · « **Reply #19 on:** 24/05/2010 20:58:36 »

...telegraphist's daughter... did dit dit dit

demografx · « **Reply #20 on:** 24/05/2010 21:08:52 »

...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.

demografx · « **Reply #21 on:** 27/05/2010 21:58:44 »

Quote from: Make it Lady on 20/05/2010 20:48:28

A big hole has developed on the M3. Police are looking into it!

Similarly, a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

JimBob · « **Reply #22 on:** 29/05/2010 02:41:00 »

Quote from: demografx on 24/05/2010 21:08:52

...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.

Could you past 'er the peas?

demografx · « **Reply #23 on:** 29/05/2010 06:43:20 »

demografx · « **Reply #24 on:** 30/05/2010 03:28:31 »

Geezer · « **Reply #25 on:** 30/05/2010 09:34:39 »

OK - you asked for it.

"Irish stew in the name of the law!"

demografx · « **Reply #26 on:** 31/05/2010 01:53:17 »

Yup we asked for it, we got it. Your turn:

"Latin me in would be a nice idea."

JimBob · « **Reply #27 on:** 02/06/2010 03:50:56 »

Noun there, boys, get a grip.

demografx · « **Reply #28 on:** 02/06/2010 04:43:03 »

Noun? We can't get a grip, it's VERBoten here!

Bored chemist · « **Reply #29 on:** 02/06/2010 10:43:07 »

I decline to comment.

demografx · « **Reply #30 on:** 03/06/2010 04:14:32 »

Oh c'mon, we all know you can ascent to it.

demografx · « **Reply #31 on:** 03/06/2010 04:35:10 »

Knock Knock
Who's there
Diesel !
Diesel who ?
Diesel teach me to start punning threads.

demografx · « **Reply #32 on:** 03/06/2010 23:58:26 »

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

JimBob · « **Reply #33 on:** 04/06/2010 02:40:45 »

Doggone it, Pavlov does - but WHY?

(And I can't keep my tongue in my cheek on this one, either.)

Geezer · « **Reply #34 on:** 04/06/2010 03:11:42 »

Pavlov was a dead ringer for his brother.

demografx · « **Reply #35 on:** 04/06/2010 03:55:02 »

"Doggone drooling brother!"

SeanB · « **Reply #36 on:** 04/06/2010 21:35:00 »

Better a drooling brother than a ruling other!

demografx · « **Reply #37 on:** 05/06/2010 02:14:37 »

My vote, so far, goes to Geezer for his Proctology Pun. He certainly doesn't make an ass of himself!

demografx · « **Reply #38 on:** 05/06/2010 02:25:26 »

Quote from: SeanB on 04/06/2010 21:35:00

Better a drooling brother than a ruling other!

This reminds me of a very cruel ruler called Pun-ara.

JimBob · « **Reply #39 on:** 06/06/2010 00:04:41 »

or a ruling udder around the house - why I am still a bachelor

demografx · « **Reply #40 on:** 06/06/2010 02:56:21 »

Hey, no fair, that's hitting below the bleat!

Geezer · « **Reply #41 on:** 06/06/2010 04:31:00 »

If your math teacher is Miss McClain, would her tests include some Miss McClaineous questions?

Geezer · « **Reply #42 on:** 06/06/2010 05:22:58 »

Lest we forget, there is also that old musical number,

"We're Sliding a Gong on the Breast of a Slave."

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demografx · « **Reply #43 on:** 06/06/2010 19:12:34 »

Quote from: Geezer on 06/06/2010 04:31:00

If your math teacher is Miss McClain, would her tests include some Miss McClaineous questions?

Yes, but those questions are graded separately by assorted teacher-aides scattered about here and there.

demografx · « **Reply #44 on:** 06/06/2010 19:26:01 »

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed!

geo driver · « **Reply #45 on:** 06/06/2010 21:05:23 »

there is a difference between
merci beaucoup

and

merci beau cue

geo driver · « **Reply #46 on:** 06/06/2010 21:06:31 »

both pronounced .... roughly the same

can any one tell me what they meen, its got me into trouble b4 with the wife. however a deep fryed mars to anyone who gets it

and io hope punning in a different language was permitted? [:I]

LeeE · « **Reply #47 on:** 06/06/2010 21:16:38 »

demografx: very nice pic indeed.

I hadn't heard of Dale Grimshaw before, so thanks for posting it.

It really reminds me of some of the stuff that Bill Sienkiewicz has done though, and that was my first thought upon seeing it.

However, DG's name has registered now, so I'll look out for more of his work.

demografx · « **Reply #48 on:** 08/06/2010 20:53:54 »

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

Geezer · « **Reply #49 on:** 08/06/2010 23:42:29 »

Quote from: demografx on 08/06/2010 20:53:54

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

Surely that's a matter of a pinion?

Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?

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